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  • #105702

    lawyer
    Member

    Good god…I have just experienced some serious sexual culture shock with my Brazilian boyfriend and I need reassurance that I am not crazy!!
    I’ve been in a steady relationship with my boyfriend for two years now. I am an American and sometimes I spend time in the US visiting family and friends. Today, in the heat of an argument, my boyfriend admitted to having gone to a “massage parlor” in Centro (Rio de Janeiro) and having had a “ball massage” and oral sex with a prostitute…wait…two prostitutes on two seperate occasions while I was out of town for 3 months (I was preparing for moving to a new country, selling all my things, and getting the legal documents ready for getting married).
    BUT WAIT… if this isn’t bad enough, in his mind, THIS ISN’T CHEATING, because prostitutes are not women, they are prostitutes!! And it was my fault for being out of town for too long. He doesn’t consider it cheating because he says that Carioca men find oral sex at massage parlors acceptable and outside the bounds of cheating. He’s thinks that I’m being prudish and that my definition of cheating doesn’t count cause it’s an American definition and I’m not in America…
    What the f*ck!!!????
    I’m I crazy to think that some woman giving oral sex to my boyfriend is a cheating? I clearly told him from the beginning that I didn’t believe in this kind of thing :(
    Any other gringas out there suffering with any similar situation?
    Is this really that culturally acceptable or is he just usting our cultural differences as an excuse to be a cheating a**hole??

  • #105705

    wimm
    Member

    Well, not I’m not Gringa – Brazilian living overseas – and sorry to disappoint you but I don’t date Brazilian men. Why? Because of a lot of reasons (including this kind of stuff too)

    Sincerely, I think he is not lying – although he is being quite an a**hole to you and said that protistutes aren’t woman. Hey, they human beings after all! I was quite amazed how a could a Brazilian guy tell me “Stay with me tonite (which means ‘Let’s f*ck tonite’). I know you have a boyfriend and you know that I can’t offer you more attention than one night (he was on a business trip here), so that’s it. Your boyfriend wil never know”. BUT WAIT A MINUTE? Where goes my respect for my boyfriend? Of course, I told the guy to go fish. So, for some Brazilian (not all, thanks God) this kind of thing is normal as long as they don’t feed any feelings or hopes to the other person (in this cases, the w**res). I think that your boyfriend must be thinking “I just had oral sex with those prostitutes but I love my Gringa, I’m still with her and that’s what counts”. Maybe it’s time to have a long conversation with this guy… I hope all goes well there Lia Kohl2008-10-31 05:27:34

  • #105707

    koalabear
    Member

    [QUOTE=gringa_1981]
    Is this really that culturally acceptable or is he just usting our cultural differences as an excuse to be a cheating a**hole??
    [/QUOTE] Duh!!! I think you answered your own question.

  • #105708

    815
    Member

    [QUOTE=gringa_1981] “ball massage” [/QUOTE] LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL

  • #105709

    Ange0707
    Member

    leave him. he’s an idiot

  • #105712

    irishvan
    Member

    If he cheats now….he’ll cheat later. A tiger doesn’t/can’t change his stripes….

  • #105717

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    “cheating because he says that Carioca men find oral sex at massage parlors acceptable”
    Isn’t this called “a happy ending” LOL
    Just get him on his own. Tell him you’re right, it’s not cheating since there was no love involved, but you cheated because you could have spent that money on me.
    Many cariocas would go for the “an eye for and eye” solution. F* someone and thell the guy, hell it’s not cheating, it was just sex LOL
    Oh and by the way, in massage parlors in rio (and são paulo) there is very little massage going on.
    sven2008-10-31 09:59:25

  • #105720

    koalabear
    Member

    Mr. Sven is right! I bet your cariocão spent a ton of money getting his little heroes massaged. Does he spend that kind of money on you?

  • #105727

    Whether or not it’s culturally acceptable you got played and are still wondering “hmm…should I believe him?” As the Ringling Brothers said, “there’s a sucker born every day”! gringomike2008-10-31 23:37:08

  • #105733

    lawyer
    Member

    Hmmm… I can’t believe I’m in this situation :(
    It’s good to hear that I’m not crazy for thinking this was a betrayal…but now I almost feel worse.
    He said it was something that happenend at the beginning of our relationship and that he doesn’t expect it to happen ever again. But then as “moving soon” said, if someone cheats once they’ll probably do it again.
    Sven…I don’t think I’m capable of any sort of “eye for an eye” vengeance as good as it would feel…that’s just not my style.
    Now I guess I have to figure out if this is a case to forgive…

  • #105738

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    Having said what I said before, cheating is “sortof ” part of brazilian culture. Brazilian males, especially cariocas think of themselves as “malandro”. Not saying it is good or bad, as I said, “it’s just having sex”. Him saying that “prostitutes are not women, they are prostitutes!” is stupid, these are women just as any. Many men here however consider having sex with a prostitute similar, but better, than jacking off in the bathroom. Women in the business sortof use the same explanation, “it’s nothing personal, it’s just sex”.
    I’m not trying to say that it’s ok, but, the idea that it is is fed by their idols, like Ronaldo who had this huge scandal after having picked up some she-males.
    Not forgiving after you having burnt all your ships behind you (sold your things in the US) won’t get you very far. Have a good discussion and decide than on whether or not you can forgive him.

  • #105740

    irishvan
    Member

    There is no forgiveness for a ball massage from a whore if you love your significant other. (that’s my new catch phrase-ball massage-I really like that!)

  • #105741

    lawyer
    Member

    “Moving soon”…
    I think that forgiveness may be possible. I am engaged and really do love him. Of coursing forgetting the details of such a seedy encounter will probably be impossible.
    Sven. You are right on the ball (no pun intended) with your explanation of his attitude toward prostitutes. He compared going to a massage parlor as something as normal to carioca men as “having a chopp”. He said that this idea is instilled in Carioca men from a young age since many of their first sexual experiences are with “professionals”, and in many cases these professionals are paid for by their father!
    While this is not at all an excuse, it does explain a little of why he thinks he wasn’t really cheating…it’s just relaxation. :(
    I’d like to hear from other carioca men and see if they really have these same opinions…
    gringa_19812008-10-31 13:51:02

  • #105743

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=MovingSoon] whore [/QUOTE]
    don’t you mean masseuse??
    I do like the word ball massage, but I don’t like the word whore. That has just as little dignity as saying these aren’t women, they are “just prostitutes”.

  • #105750

    irishvan
    Member

    1981- You might be able to forgive, but you will NEVER be able to forget. And you shouldn’t. You will always question certain actions in the future and it will come up again throughout the relationship at bad moments – and you will always have it in the back of your mind. There are lots of guys out there that don’t have their balls massaged when they are in relationships. Life is too short-and don’t sell yourself short with a guy that will do that to you. Sven- what the hell is the difference in the two??? I’m not even saying its a bad thing to be a whore or prostitute (under the right conditions, they serve a purpose), but I don’t see the seperation between whore and prostitute, certainly not a gray area in the dignity classification. They are what they are. *and for those wondering what I meant with the phrase ‘under the right conditions’, I mean if you are single, etc. Whores are actually fun to be with – as the old saying goes, you don’t pay them to be with you, you pay them to leave.!!!! Nothing wrong with a professional doing her job…

  • #105762

    antamsPak
    Member

    Brazilians have an appreciation of the distinction between ‘sex’ and ‘making love.’ Some women also feel it’s ok and not cheating on her namorado if she makes sex with a stranger and receives money in recompense. Call it cultural difference and not a moral issue. Really though, if you left this man alone for 3 months, you are unrealistic if you expect he will not seek and find an outlet for relief of ‘tensao.’ Be glad it was in a termas and not with a female friend or acquaintence of yours. Actually, the Brazilian way is quite civilized if you view it in context.

  • #105766

    lawyer
    Member

    [QUOTE=zingadoon] Really though, if you left this man alone for 3 months, you are unrealistic if you expect he will not seek and find an outlet for relief of ‘tensao.’ [/QUOTE]
    I’m curious, are you also a Carioca?
    Second point…”tensao” as you put it, is not exclusive to men. Women also have sexual desires and urges, and I myself had opportunities while I was gone for three months…but I had the discipline not to act on these desires. Is this not a more civilized response??

  • #105797

    Amelia Marry
    Participant

    So what is the amount of time I can leave my Brazilian alone without him having to relieve the “tesao”?? WinkIs there a good guideline out there?
    I was in the same situation as OP – I left my then-fiance here in Brasil for 6 months while I was getting my life shut down in the US. We live in a small enough city where nothinghappens on the down low (which has its pros and cons) – so if something went on, someone would have found out and made it through the grapevine to me. He did have his first sexual encounter with a “professional” at age 13 – paid for by his uncles. When he first told me, I was truly shocked, and to be honest, still am a bit awe struck that this actually happened, but what is done is done.
    However, the situation, at its base, boils down to one thing – Respect. Respect is a universal thing, and it has to come from both sides. I would sit down and have a serious talk with him to find out where you both stand on this. Your ideals/values, both social and personal, should agree – especially on these “cultural” issues. If they don’t, then you have to decide if you can live within his boundaries. I have learned that mom was right – you cannot change him…you learn to live with it or get the heck out.

  • #105858

    irishvan
    Member

    Seems like a few of you are trying to justify that cheating on your spouse is ok. Whether you call it relieving tension, massage, or just plain screwing around-you can’t justify it. There is no reason or excuse for it if you care about your significant other that you are in a relationship with. Anyway, time for a naked group hug ((((((((((((Big%20smile))))))))))))

  • #105860

    Steven
    Participant

    If you have been in a steady relationship for two years and have been preparing for marriage then the only reason that your fiancé would have to “relieve his tension” would be if he were a dog and not a human. How do you know that next time you fly home to see your family for a couple of weeks that his “tension” won’t rapidly build up and need “relief”. You might forgive but it will be a long time (many years) before you forget. Think carefully before you go further with this guy. His behavior is neither normal nor acceptable for decent men of any nationality.

  • #105906

    apache58
    Member

    Part of the reason this group exists is because we understand there are differences between Brazilians and gringos.
    While empathising with the original poster, I wonder if it is fair for us to sit in judgement on someone who may be behaving in what is a normal manner for a man of his background. Maybe the partners did not discuss the boundaries of their relationship, and the OP mistakenly assumedhe would behave in a particular way.
    The Brazilian partner told the OP about what he had done, which suggest he is not the monster painted by some other posters.

  • #105909

    irishvan
    Member

    Sorry…where you are from, cultural differences, etc-nothing can justify this stupid behavior.

    Wrong is wrong, there is no ‘gray area’.

  • #105913

    micko
    Member

    The OP’s fiancé is not a gentleman. And when he has a child with his GF at work he’ll be able to say, ‘all the guys have one’. He’ll be right but will still be liable to pay ~1/3 of his income in child support.

  • #105918

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    Must agree here with david. There definately are cultural differences. What is considered morally wrong in one culture maybe totally accepted in another culture. It’s like debating abortion or euthanasia or religion for that matter.
    I won’t say that I consider paying for a “ball massage” LOLequal to paying for a beer, but it is definately different from having an extramarital affair for quite some time with emotional involvement and all that stuff.

  • #105937

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    Maybe this is interesting for the Brazilian market LOL
    http://www.cb-2000.com/cb3000.html

  • #105940

    Steven
    Participant

    OK, I agree. Things that are culturally acceptable in one place may not be in another. Chopping off a thief’s hand is ok in Saudi Arabia but doesn’t play very well in any of the places that any of us come from. Ditto for a “ball massage” while your betrothed is out of town.

  • #105942

    x32792
    Member

    [QUOTE=Steven]OK, I agree. Things that are culturally acceptable in one place may not be in another. Chopping off a thief’s hand is ok in Saudi Arabia but doesn’t play very well in any of the places that any of us come from. Ditto for a “ball massage” while your betrothed is out of town. [/QUOTE]I wonder of anyone with two convictions for theft in Saudi is able to give a “ball massage”? Maybe that is where the term “stumping up” comes fromLOL

  • #105944

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=London Lad][QUOTE=Steven]OK, I agree. Things that are culturally acceptable in one place may not be in another. Chopping off a thief’s hand is ok in Saudi Arabia but doesn’t play very well in any of the places that any of us come from. Ditto for a “ball massage” while your betrothed is out of town. [/QUOTE]I wonder of anyone with two convictions for theft in Saudi is able to give a “ball massage”? Maybe that is where the term “stumping up” comes fromLOL
    [/QUOTE]
    As far as I know, the person receiving the ball massage in Saudi Arabia would be stoned. I don’t think giving ball massages is legal there either, but with the right protesis it should be possible.

  • #105960

    Steven
    Participant

    Gringa 1981 – We’re all laughing but don’t you get the point? Get yourself a real man that’s fit to raise your kids. It’s a long life – make it a good one.

  • #105991

    lawyer
    Member

    [QUOTE=Steven]Gringa 1981 – We’re all laughing but don’t you get the point? Get yourself a real man that’s fit to raise your kids. It’s a long life – make it a good one. [/QUOTE]
    I hear all of you. I knew all along that cultural differences existed between Americans and Brazilians, and meeting eachother halfway in this respect has been very hard work for my partner and me. But….we consistently to take steps forward to understanding eachother.
    In the case of this behaviour, yes I think it is unnaceptable. Yes, I told him at the beginning of our relationship that I think “massage parlours” are unacceptable, but at the same time, he has admitted to me that he has come a long way and in doing that he admitted that he had disrespected me by getting the now infamous massage. He has lived his whole life in a macho society that encourages this kind of behaviour. He initially found his “habits” hard to break, but with time and lots of work he has made great progress and hopefully broken them altogether.
    People are not perfect and I have forgiven him for what happenend. I know that some of you in this forum believe that when a person cheats once the relationship should be over, and you have the right to your opinion. In my case I have decided that I’m going to keep fighting for our relationship because 99% of the time it’s good… really good.

  • #105994

    Badcam
    Member

    i’m sure he’ll stop telling you about his visits now that he knows you dont like it.

    leopards quite often change there spots!

  • #106000

    Milenko
    Participant

    HA Ha …… LOLLOLLOLLOLI can’t believe it ….. this is really funny. He admited having sex with prostitute. Oh my god …. If I would have done something like this .. I would never have admited especially to girlfriend. I’m sorry bad luck for his girlfriend just leave him and find someone else preferebly not brazilian … LOLLOLLOL

  • #106005

    lawyer
    Member

    [QUOTE=ptic]HA Ha …… LOLLOLLOLLOLI can’t believe it ….. this is really funny. He admited having sex with prostitute. Oh my god …. If I would have done something like this .. I would never have admited especially to girlfriend. I’m sorry bad luck for his girlfriend just leave him and find someone else preferebly not brazilian … LOLLOLLOL[/QUOTE]
    He didn’t admit to having sex with a prostitute. He admitted to having oral sex performed by a prostitute. There may be no difference to some people, but I think there is quite a big difference between the two.
    By the way, Brazilians aren’t the only ones who cheat. They do it without getting their emotions involved. From personal experience, the American boyfriend who I had cheat on me in the past “fell in love” with my roomate at the time and decided to sleep with her.
    I think it’s interesting that mostly men are responding to this post.

  • #106008

    Anonymous

    I will respond as a woman and ask what the man would have done if the woman informed him that she cheated “only with a prostitute” and “it was only oral sex”. He’d probably have an apoplectic fit and toss her out.
    I would also show him the door whether it was given, received, paid, free, with a prostitute, girl scout or indian chief. Obviously if I am not a sexual priority, he should be liberated to seek his “relief” elsewhere. And that doesn’t even consider the problem of running real health risks because your partner is swapping fluids with sex workers on the QT.

  • #106024

    Badcam
    Member

    gringa_1981maybe you like this type of guy, it certainly appears so.

  • #106051

    lawyer
    Member

    [QUOTE=yingyang]

    gringa_1981maybe you like this type of guy, it certainly appears so.

    [/QUOTE]
    Yes Ying Yang, you’ve got me all figured out. Thank you for clearing up all my issues for me in one post… that’s it…I like this kind of guy. I like that men cheat on me. It’s great, it really helps my self esteem and gives me faith in mankind…
    Are you serious????????

  • #106054

    lawyer
    Member

    Another thing…
    I posted my story in the forum hoping for some help understanding the cultural differences that underlined what happenend to me. Only Sven and one or two other posters had anything along those lines to say. The rest of you judged me and my situation or just had a good laugh.
    I’d like to thank Sven for his trying to explain a bit about the Carioca/Brazilian male mindset…his comments were the most helpful.

  • #106055

    irishvan
    Member

    1981- I guess I’m a little confused…and not judging…but how do say that oral is NOT sex?? Yes it is. That’s not cultural. In a sense it’s more cheating for a guy because it’s all about him and leaves nothing for a female. It’s all about HIS needs. Sounds like cheating to me… MovingSoon2008-11-06 14:27:23

  • #106058

    lawyer
    Member

    Clarification for movingsoon…
    Oral sex is sex. I believe it’s cheating. My boyfriend and apparently many other carioca men don’t believe it’s cheating (if it’s from a pro at one of these spas). Therein lies the cultural difference.

  • #106061

    Xpert1
    Member

    sounds to me like cultural differences are being used an excuse for plain old lack of self control

  • #106062

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=MovingSoon]

    That’s not cultural. In a sense it’s more cheating for a guy because it’s all about him and leaves nothing for a female. It’s all about HIS needs.

    [/QUOTE]
    Just like:
    – watching a ballgame on sunday
    – playing soccer with the guys
    – having a fridaynight choppe with the guys from work
    and lot’s of other stuff
    which is all about HIS needs. Usually the wife being at home, alone, watching the Novela.
    I’d say that having a professional “ball massage” topped off with oral sex is much less “cheating” than “having an affair” that lasts for months where mutual feelings are involved. I don’t remember who said this, but it always stuck with me:
    “A relação entre a prostituta e o homem é a relação mais honesto entre homem e mulher. Ambos sabem exatamente o que o outro quer.”
    Call me liberal (yes I am, and proud of it), but payed sex does not even come close to “real cheating” as in “having an affair” as it is just sex. The other thing involve emotions, presents, lot’s of lying and “working late”. Paid sex is cheating when the money involved is “missed” in the household and should have been used on important things.
    Don’t get me wrong, of course a certain level of “cheating” is involved with any type of “sex” but, considering it “more cheating for a guy because it’s all about him”, that getting off on internet porn would also be more cheating, as it is only about HIM.
    Having an extra-relational affair with another is also only about him. The woman has nothing to do with it (except the other one). But i’d call that really cheating.
    gringa-1981, the ball massage, that part is really funny. Never heard of it before.

  • #106065

    lawyer
    Member

    Thanks for sharing with me Sven. I definitely agree with you. I think that’s why it was much easier than I thought it would be to forgive him (once I got over the initial shock). If he had admitted he had had an emotionally involved affair, it would have been much harder to deal with.
    By the way…”ball massage” is a really funny phrase…it’s quite ridiculous really.

  • #106069

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=gringa_1981]Thanks for sharing with me Sven. I definitely agree with you. I think that’s why it was much easier than I thought it would be to forgive him (once I got over the initial shock). If he had admitted he had had an emotionally involved affair, it would have been much harder to deal with.
    By the way…”ball massage” is a really funny phrase…it’s quite ridiculous really.
    [/QUOTE]
    We live in a modern world. People can cheat in many different ways that 100 years ago would have been impossible. Chatting daily with someone on the internet could be considered “cheating”. A woman playing with a vibrator could be called “cheating”, it’s sex and all about her.

  • #106072

    Badcam
    Member

    cultural excuses? any excuse is a good excuse if someone is stupid enough to believe it maybe it would be worth you asking him to get a HIV check before you go too far with the relationship. it is very common ammongst prostitutes and their clients.

  • #106075

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=yingyang]

    maybe it would be worth you asking him to get a HIV check before you go too far with the relationship. it is very common ammongst prostitutes and their clients.

    [/QUOTE]
    Most “massage parlors” and “termas” require monthly blood tests from their “ball masseuses”. These tests (and authenticated copies of their ID cards) have to be shown to the “vigilancia sanitária” and the police who make regular visits to these places, specifically to verify if no “child ball massage” is going on.

  • #106077

    lawyer
    Member

    [QUOTE=yingyang]

    cultural excuses?
    any excuse is a good excuse if someone is stupid enough to believe it
    maybe it would be worth you asking him to get a HIV check before you go too far with the relationship. it is very common ammongst prostitutes and their clients.

    [/QUOTE]
    Ying yang, have you read my posts at all? It doesn’t seem like it. Once again, to clarify, I don’t accept the behaviour of going to professional sex workers. The fact that his culture has taught him this is an acceptable behaviour for a man has helped me to come to understand the situation and forgive him for his past betrayl.

  • #106079

    Milenko
    Participant

    In my personal opinion, sex or blowjob is all the same thing. The one thing that botters me the most is that they took it so easy. The whole world knows blowjob is cheating, going to prostitute while married is also cheating …. This is pure bullsh*t using brasilian culture as an excuse. And by the way brazilians are known to be full of sh*t .. especially when making apointment and then not appearing and selling excuses later on, give me a break. Cultural difference is not an excuse as far as I am concerned.

  • #106082

    CrydayTrach
    Member

    I was really avoiding replying to this post as the answer seemed pretty obvious… and the post strikes as trolling but: In Brazil it is not considered normal for a guy to have any kind of “massage” while the girfriend is away. And if they do that to their Brazilian girlfriend/wife they better hide it very well… or she might “kill” him. Big%20smileMonicaB2008-11-06 16:05:32

  • #106086

    irishvan
    Member

    sven- So if your wife gave the neighbor a bj, you would consider that less threatening then if she was having full outright sex with him? By your post above you said it would be ‘much less cheating’. I’d bet a cold one you’d change your mind if that happened…

  • #106088

    Badcam
    Member

    [QUOTE=MovingSoon]sven- So if your wife gave the neighbor a bj, you would consider that less threatening then if she was having full outright sex with him? By your post above you said it would be ‘much less cheating’. I’d bet a cold one you’d change your mind if that happened… [/QUOTE] i dont think you totally understand what sven is trying to say. i’m sure he would not be happy at the situation you mention butif moneyexchanged hands that would be ok.. if i understand him correctly. and gringa i’m sure your wonderful byfriend will stop paying girlsfor sex now that you have made it clear that you consider he might be stepping over the mark.. after all there plenty of ladyboys who can offer him the same service, .. or maybe they already have so technically he might not have cheated with another woman.LOL

  • #106095

    Juantonio
    Member

    [QUOTE=MonicaB]I was really avoiding replying to this post as the answer seemed pretty obvious… and the post strikes as trolling but: In Brazil it is not considered normal for a guy to have any kind of “massage” while the girfriend is away. And if they do that to their Brazilian girlfriend/wife they better hide it very well… or she might “kill” him. Big%20smile[/QUOTE] I agree Monica, I have seen more than a few articles in the papers where the wife or girlfriend killed or CUT IT OFF!Shocked

  • #106112

    lawyer
    Member

    [QUOTE=MonicaB]I was really avoiding replying to this post as the answer seemed pretty obvious… and the post strikes as trolling but:

    In Brazil it is not considered normal for a guy to have any kind of “massage” while the girfriend is away. And if they do that to their Brazilian girlfriend/wife they better hide it very well… or she might “kill” him. Big%20smile

    [/QUOTE]
    I’m sorry, but to say “in Brazil” is so vague. Are you in Rio de Janeiro? To simplify Brazil as one entity is a falacy. It is like saying, well people from Nebraska love George Bush so all of the USA must love George Bush…you are over simplyfing.
    And from my experience it is considered normal in Rio de Janeiro for men to A. see a prostitute for ones first sexual experience and B. continue going to prostitutes during one’s male life for oral sex and “massages”.
    By the way, wikipedia defines trolling as, “An Internet troll, or simply trollin Internet slang, is someone who posts controversial, inflammatory, irrelevant or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forumor chat room, with the intention of provoking other users into an emotional response[1]or to generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion.[2]
    This is obviously not the case for me. I am posting this personal content as it pertains to me and I am trying to understand the situation better.

  • #106113

    micko
    Member

    [QUOTE=MonicaB]I was really avoiding replying to this post as the answer seemed pretty obvious… and the post strikes as trolling but: [/QUOTE]
    Looks like you were right. The OP has now mounted a defense of ‘safadeza’.
    Sheesh!!!

  • #106114

    CrydayTrach
    Member

    Gringa, the reply to above comments are really well explained by yingyang’s post

    [QUOTE=yingyang] any excuse is a good excuse if someone is stupid enough to believe it
    [/QUOTE]

    Fool yourself (or let him do the job) as much as you want. Just some words of advice from a Brazilian woman..

    This piece of advice below is also particularly useful… keep it in mind

    [QUOTE=yingyang]
    maybe it would be worth you asking him to get a HIV check before you go too far with the relationship. it is very common ammongst prostitutes and their clients. [/QUOTE] MonicaB2008-11-07 11:27:20

  • #106115

    lawyer
    Member

    [QUOTE=DUNGA][QUOTE=MonicaB]I was really avoiding replying to this post as the answer seemed pretty obvious… and the post strikes as trolling but: [/QUOTE]
    Looks like you were right. The OP has now mounted a defense of ‘safadeza’.
    Sheesh!!!
    [/QUOTE]
    It’s not a defense. It’s a fact. These are normal cultural occurences here in Rio. This is the way that men here are raised…knowing this helps to understand where they come from and why they do what they do. That does not mean that I think it’s right or that I agree with it. I DON’T.

  • #106116

    CrydayTrach
    Member

    [QUOTE=gringa_1981] It’s not a defense.¬† It’s a fact.¬† These are normal cultural occurences here in Rio.¬† This is the way that men here are raised…knowing this helps to understand where they come from and why they do what they do.¬† That does not mean that I think it’s right or that I agree with it.¬† I DON’T.¬† [/QUOTE]
    Your are so in denial and you have such stereotyped ideas…

  • #106117

    CrydayTrach
    Member

    but have to give credit to the “ball massage” that is indeed hilarious!
    Ball masseuse…

  • #106119

    CrydayTrach
    Member

    [QUOTE=gringa_1981] I’m I crazy to think that some woman giving oral sex to my boyfriend is a cheating?¬†
    [/QUOTE]
    No, you are perfectly normal for American AND Brazilian standards

  • #106144

    x32792
    Member

    [QUOTE=gringa_1981]
    It’s not a defense. It’s a fact. These are normal cultural occurences here in Rio. This is the way that men here are raised…knowing this helps to understand where they come from and why they do what they do. That does not mean that I think it’s right or that I agree with it. I DON’T.
    [/QUOTE]
    [QUOTE=gringa_1981]I’m sorry, but to say “in Brazil” is so vague. Are you in Rio de Janeiro? To simplify Brazil as one entity is a falacy. It is like saying, well people from Nebraska love George Bush so all of the USA must love George Bush…you are over simplyfing.
    And from my experience it is considered normal in Rio de Janeiro for men to A. see a prostitute for ones first sexual experience and B. continue going to prostitutes during one’s male life for oral sex and “massages”.
    [/QUOTE]What happens when you change “Brazil” for “Rio” in the above posts Wink
    And can the posters who live in Rio confirm that they all use prostitutes Clap
    (can wait to see who says “yes I do”) LOLLOL
    London Lad2008-11-07 10:01:45

  • #106146

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=yingyang][QUOTE=MovingSoon]sven-

    So if your wife gave the neighbor a bj, you would consider that less threatening then if she was having full outright sex with him?
    By your post above you said it would be ‘much less cheating’.
    I’d bet a cold one you’d change your mind if that happened…

    [/QUOTE]

    i dont think you totally understand what sven is trying to say.
    i’m sure he would not be happy at the situation you mention
    but
    if moneyexchanged hands that would be ok.. if i understand him correctly.
    [/QUOTE]
    OK is one thing, maybe more acceptable Confusedbut you’re obviously getting my drift. There is a big difference in my opinion between “just having sex” and “a full blown affair with emotions involved”.
  • #106147

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=London Lad]
    And can the posters who live in Rio confirm that they all use prostitutes Clap
    (can wait to see who says “yes I do”) LOLLOL
    [/QUOTE]
    We could start a philosophical debate on the question “are women that marry a dude for his money prostitutes?”
    If you ask the question “is having sex for money cheating” the answer is most likely the “Yes”. If you ask the question “is being emotionally involved with another women without having sex cheating?”, the answer is most likely “yes”. But if you look at the implications either have on the underlying relationship, the emotional involvement will most likely put a much bigger pressure on the relation.

  • #106153

    CrydayTrach
    Member

    [QUOTE=sven] OK is one thing, maybe more acceptable Confusedbut you’re obviously getting my drift. There is a big difference in my opinion between “just having sex” and “a full blown affair with emotions involved”.
    [/QUOTE] Just my two cents… as much as I do see a difference between the two… bottom line is the impact of either of those in a relationship are the same… breach of confidence… and in most of the cases the relatioship is (if not finished) doomed after any… And when I say “difference” I am not even saying one is easier to accept/overcome then the other, just some different set of emotions involved. The though of your partner paying for sex or ball massages LOL(sorry, that is too funny!) while in a relationship with you is disgusting (I am not prudish or anything, it is more a woman sense of self worth).

  • #106157

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=MonicaB]

    Just my two cents… as much as I do see a difference between the two… bottom line is the impact of either of those in a relationship are the same… breach of confidence… and in most of the cases the relatioship is (if not finished) doomed after any…
    [/QUOTE]
    The fact that there has been a breach of confidence, there I’ll agree with you. But not all in life is black or white. In between you’ll find a whole spectrum of colors. I would not say the relationship is doomed or finished. But something definately is or was wrong. It depends on each individual what value he wants to attach to different breaches of trust.
    [QUOTE=MonicaB]
    And when I say “difference” I am not even saying one is easier to accept/overcome then the other, just some different set of emotions involved. The though of your partner paying for sex or ball massages LOL(sorry, that is too funny!) while in a relationship with you is disgusting (I am not prudish or anything, it is more a woman sense of self worth).

    [/QUOTE]
    What if the ball massage was virtual, would it be ok then ??

  • #106158

    x32792
    Member

    [QUOTE=sven]
    What if the ball massage was virtual, would it be ok then ??
    [/QUOTE]sven, you got one of these Wink

  • #106159

    Badcam
    Member

    [QUOTE=sven]
    OK is one thing, maybe more acceptable Confusedbut you’re obviously getting my drift. There is a big difference in my opinion between “just having sex” and “a full blown affair with emotions involved”.
    [/QUOTE] yes, i can agree with you that there is indeed a diffference, but i also think that a big percentage of braslian men just use the cultural thing as an ecxuse. i do have a few brasilian guys who are friends and faithful but unfortunately the majority are not. i think if you have a partner and you are unfaithful wether by having sex or oral or balls massage whatever you want to call it then you are a lowlife cheat who doesnt deserve to have a partner. thats just my oppinion. i also believe if you are a woman who has caught you boyfriend/ husband out and let them get away with it then you are either a fool or a desperate bunny boiler.. just my oppinion of cause

  • #106161

    Steven
    Participant

    [QUOTE=yingyang] i think if you have a partner and you are unfaithful wether by having sex or oral or balls massage whatever you want to call it then you are a lowlife cheat who doesnt deserve to have a partner. thats just my oppinion. i also believe if you are a woman who has caught you boyfriend/ husband out and let them get away with it then you are either a fool or a desperate bunny boiler.. just my oppinion of cause [/QUOTE] My opinion too.

  • #106162

    x32792
    Member

    [QUOTE=gringa_1981]
    Is this really that culturally acceptable or is he just usting our cultural differences as an excuse to be a cheating a**hole??
    [/QUOTE]From the point of asking this first question in post No1 of the thread, you apear to have gained a great deal of information as you have now concluded with this statement.
    [QUOTE=gringa_1981]And from my experience it is considered normal in Rio de Janeiro for men to A. see a prostitute for ones first sexual experience and B. continue going to prostitutes during one’s male life for oral sex and “massages”. [/QUOTE]In the light of the two quotes for your words above, can you let us know, what information has lead to to answer your own question in this manor?
    It would appear that in just over a month you have asstablished that it is “considered normal” for men to visit prostitutes in Rio de Janeiro, can you explain how it is you have come to this conclusion?
    London Lad2008-11-07 12:42:02

  • #106170

    lawyer
    Member

    [QUOTE=London Lad][QUOTE=gringa_1981]
    Is this really that culturally acceptable or is he just usting our cultural differences as an excuse to be a cheating a**hole??
    [/QUOTE]From the point of asking this first question in post No1 of the thread, you apear to have gained a great deal of information as you have now concluded with this statement.
    [QUOTE=gringa_1981]And from my experience it is considered normal in Rio de Janeiro for men to A. see a prostitute for ones first sexual experience and B. continue going to prostitutes during one’s male life for oral sex and “massages”. [/QUOTE]In the light of the two quotes for your words above, can you let us know, what information has lead to to answer your own question in this manor?
    It would appear that in just over a month you have asstablished that it is “considered normal” for men to visit prostitutes in Rio de Janeiro, can you explain how it is you have come to this conclusion?
    [/QUOTE]
    London Lad; my original post was written right when I found out about what happenend. I was very emotional and hadn’t had much time to process what happenend. What has occured in the meantime is that I have calmed down, meditated on the situation, and forgiven him.
    Regarding my statement about carioca men seeing sex workers and going to termas as “normal”, I have spoken to various people since the incident and found that it is not uncommon for men to go to “termas” here in Rio, married or unmarried. I haven’t taken an exhaustive survey, but from what I’ve heard it leads me to believe this is fairly normalized behavior.
    Also, try doing a google search for “termas” and “rio de Janeiro”, and you will see that there are many many of these places. Obviously there must be a great demand for them. Do you really think that only single men go to these places?
    Like I’ve already said a few times, I don’t agree with what he did…but I have forgiven him. Think of me what you will.

  • #106171

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=London Lad][QUOTE=sven]
    What if the ball massage was virtual, would it be ok then ??
    [/QUOTE]sven, you got one of these Wink

    [/QUOTE]
    Not yet. But i’d say one with batteries are much more discrete LOL

  • #106180

    Badcam
    Member

    [QUOTE=gringa_1981]
    Think of me what you will.
    [/QUOTE] that has already been answered 2 posts above..do you have no self respect ?

  • #106182

    CrydayTrach
    Member

    [QUOTE=sven] The fact that there has been a breach of confidence, there I’ll agree with you. But not all in life is black or white. In between you’ll find a whole spectrum of colors. [/QUOTE] I do agree with you, after something like that I think the outcome will depend on the whole picture/situation and (mostly) on the desire of both to stay together. Sometimes this decision can come from a good place but also unfortunately many times it comes from a place of fear (of letting go, of being alone, of failure, etc, etc, etc)… I also think many people try to forgive but it will always be lurking around and undermining the relationship. Just as a side note, the excuse used by gringa’s boyfriend is “esfarrapada” or she relates to some real scumbags in Rio… we can find them everywhere… if I Google prostitute joint in New York city I will find hundreds… does it mean most of married man in this city are cheaters? And I bet those “termas” in Rio have loads of foreigner customers… so does it mean most of the gringoes in this forum are cheaters? I really don’t think so…
    [QUOTE=MonicaB]
    What if the ball massage was virtual, would it be ok then ??
    [/QUOTE] breach of confidence again… some people can also have some emotional cheating on-line… not overtly sexual but definitely romantic. Now my turn….I ask… going out with another woman, talking, kissing her on the mouth… but no sex… while married or in a relationship is that cheating? MonicaB2008-11-07 14:00:52

  • #106187

    irishvan
    Member

    Monica- What a silly question! Of course a woman kissing a woman is not cheating…thats a beautiful thing!! Niney nine percent of the males will say its great, we just want to watch them kissing. You know the old saying…every female is just one kiss from being a lesbian.Thumbs%20Up

  • #106188

    enchantbeau
    Member

    Of course she has forgiven him she was always going to. And of course he was always going to tell her about his visit to prostitute, really to find out which way the wind blows on this matter, and now he knows! And to Monica, I would say that going out with another woman without your partners knowledge is cheating, so would be kissing on the mouth or really any deliberate physical contact outside of a chaste hug and peck on the cheek, so really this ball mangling malarkey is pretty high up the list of no can do’s. And all men from all cultures know it even if they try to say otherwise. And how demeaning must it be for a woman to find herself so poorly thought of by her man that he would need to pay another woman for sex.

  • #106189

    x32792
    Member

    [QUOTE=gringa_1981] London Lad; my original post was written right when I found out about what happenend. I was very emotional and hadn’t had much time to process what happenend. What has occured in the meantime is that I have calmed down, meditated on the situation, and forgiven him. I hope your faith in him is shown to be correct.
    Regarding my statement about carioca men seeing sex workers and going to termas as “normal”, I have spoken to various people since the incident and found that it is not uncommon for men to go to “termas” here in Rio, married or unmarried. I haven’t taken an exhaustive survey, but from what I’ve heard it leads me to believe this is fairly normalized behavior.
    Also, try doing a google search for “termas” and “rio de Janeiro”, and you will see that there are many many of these places. Obviously there must be a great demand for them. Do you really think that only single men go to these places? I am well aware of the number of women selling sex, in most cornor shops in the UK you will see adverts for this kind of thing, also in most local papers in cities I have lived, just a quick look at the local paper here it would seen that there are many ads for such services, I also lived in Asterdam and spent many weekends drinking it was is called “the red light district”. I am very sure that a large percentage of people using these services are also married. I make no judgement about people who chose to use the services of a prostute or do I judge women who decide freely that they want to live that kind of lifestyle. (I do have a problem where the women concerned are being expolited by someone else who is making money from their expolitation)
    Like I’ve already said a few times, I don’t agree with what he did…but I have forgiven him. Think of me what you will. I think it is only for you to decide what action you take, I nore anyone else who has posted on this thread has walked in your shoes, so we can only give a view based on our personal feelings about the situation in general. As to what I think of you, well I make no judgement, I don’t know you, you are just some words on a computer screen that I read and have responded to. If you feel people have judged you, then ignore them, they don’t know you, all they know is the words you have posted here.
    I do ask myself a question when I read stories like this: I wonder why do men pay (directly) for sex, it seems to me that there are lots women (I use the term women as I have no desire to have sex with men) who will share themselves without being paid directly. Maybe the chase isn’t important to some men, for me it is much part of the game/fun as the sex itself.
    If you were one of my daughters I would make no comment about your boyfriend being unfaithful (it isn’t my business as he is their boyfriend and not mine), but I would point out to them that in todays world sex with the wrong person can be a death sentance and I think that is the important thing here.
    [/QUOTE]

  • #106190

    x32792
    Member

    [QUOTE=sven][QUOTE=London Lad]
    And can the posters who live in Rio confirm that they all use prostitutes Clap
    (can wait to see who says “yes I do”) LOLLOL
    [/QUOTE]
    We could start a philosophical debate on the question “are women that marry a dude for his money prostitutes?”
    [/QUOTE]Well I think you would get very different answers depending on what country you were asking that question.
    Let us not forget that it is less than 1/3 of the world where people are “free” to marry because they love the person they are marrying.
    In many parts of the world arranged marriage is the norm and in many other parts of the world marriage is often for economic reasons.
    So I think it is very hard to judge people from other cultures if you have only experience of living in what is called the first world or have that viewpoint as your starting place in any discussion like this.

  • #106193

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=gringa_1981]
    Regarding my statement about carioca men seeing sex workers and going to termas as “normal”, I have spoken to various people since the incident and found that it is not uncommon for men to go to “termas” here in Rio, married or unmarried. I haven’t taken an exhaustive survey, but from what I’ve heard it leads me to believe this is fairly normalized behavior.
    Also, try doing a google search for “termas” and “rio de Janeiro”, and you will see that there are many many of these places. Obviously there must be a great demand for them. Do you really think that only single men go to these places?
    Like I’ve already said a few times, I don’t agree with what he did…but I have forgiven him. Think of me what you will.
    [/QUOTE]
    I may add that, many men that go to “termas” don’t go there for the sex, but just to have some fun, have a beer, take a sauna, have some more beer and go home. Don’t they have strip clubs in the US? People go to these places don’t they? There are about 10 in a 200 meter circle around my place of work. Termas, whiskey bar and american bar are sinonymous.

  • #106198

    enchantbeau
    Member

    To London Lad, I expect the reason why a lot of men who pay for sex do so, is because they are too fat, old, ugly or charmless to take the ‘normal’ dating route. Which I suspect is what most prostitutes would mostly have to put up with in their daily grind (pun intended).

  • #106204

    x32792
    Member

    [QUOTE=delco]To London Lad,

    I expect the reason why a lot of men who pay for sex do so, is because they are too fat, old, ugly or charmless to take the ‘normal’ dating route.
    Which I suspect is what most prostitutes would mostly have to put up with in their daily grind (pun intended).

    [/QUOTE]yes point taken, I guess as I am none of the above it may explain why I have not needed those services myself, yet Wink
    LOL
    LOL

  • #106208

    lawyer
    Member

    I think that since the majority of us in this forum are foreign, we judge everthing based on on own cultures mores and values (logically so), but when living in another country it is important to understand that there truly are cultural differences. There was a huge study done regarding Brazilian sexual practices called the “Projeto Sexualidade”, this research was done by Hospital das Clínicas, de São Paulo, psychiatrist Carmita Abdo, and funded by Pfizer. I think that for some of you, it might be good to read this research to understand that cultural differences in regards to fidelity really DO EXIST. For example, the study found that only 1 in 4 married Brazilian expects there partner to be faithful!! I would say this is quite different than the American expectation. Also, I suppose it would be good for foreigners considering getting seriously involved with a Brazilian to know, that beliefs about infidelity are very different here than in the US and I would imagine in Europe.

    I had no idea.

    Check out this research:

    http://www.brazil-brasil.com/content/view/274/78/

    Also, there is a VEJA article that talks about Brazilian infidelity:

    http://scotty.ffclrp.usp.br/periodicos/veja/Infidelidade.htm

    Here are some of the main points I pulled from the article:

    Apenas um em cada quatro brasileiros casados espera fidelidade do parceiro.

    Estado – RJ

    The research continues…

    Índice de infidelidade/Homens – 56,7%

    Índice de infidelidade/Mulheres – 34,8%

    Fonte: Pesquisa do Projeto Sexualidade, do Hospital das Clínicas da Universidade de São Paulo (USP)

  • #106210

    Badcam
    Member

    i think its very funny and slightly ironic that you now choose to stand up for male brasilian infidelity, not quite how you started the post though you might also note that a large portion of brasilian society is roman catholic so infidelity is actually against their reigion, but i’m sure thats fine too.

  • #106212

    CrydayTrach
    Member

    trolling alert … trolling alert…… dha dha dha dha…. what a load of non-sense… but I really have to say it was worth the whole “ball massage” thing… a woman would never post that kind of grafic detail… or post that on a forum first post….and the whole change in attitude… LOLtrolling but for sure a good one! It is entertaining Big%20smile

  • #106215

    lawyer
    Member

    [QUOTE=yingyang]i think its very funny and slightly ironic that you now choose to stand up for male brasilian infidelity, not quite how you started the post though

    [/QUOTE]
    I’m not defending infidelity…I don’t agree with it.
    I’m explaining that I’ve come to understand where his behaviour came from.

  • #106218

    x32792
    Member

    [QUOTE=gringa_1981]

    I think that since the majority of us in this forum are foreign, we judge everthing based on on own cultures mores and values (logically so), but when living in another country it is important to understand that there truly are cultural differences. There was a huge study done regarding Brazilian sexual practices called the “Projeto Sexualidade”, this research was done by Hospital das Clínicas, de São Paulo, psychiatrist Carmita Abdo, and funded by Pfizer. I think that for some of you, it might be good to read this research to understand that cultural differences in regards to fidelity really DO EXIST. For example, the study found that only 1 in 4 married Brazilian expectsthere partner to be faithful!! I would say this is quite different than the American expectation. Also, I suppose it would be good for foreigners considering getting seriously involved with a Brazilian to know, that beliefsabout infidelity are very different here than in the US and I would imagine in Europe. [/QUOTE]You now appear to be justifying this mans behavior as cultural, I think a great many Brazilians would find that extremely offensive.

    The implication of what you are saying is the Brazilians (men?) have a lower morality threshold than Americans and or Europeans and I’m not sure the facts show that is the case.

    I think one would need to see a similar report about the sexual habits of Americans and Europens to judge the facts rather than “exectations” or “belifes”, also I’m not at all sure that Prostution is more preverlent in Brazil than it is in the the USA or Europe.

  • #106219

    x32792
    Member

    [QUOTE=MonicaB]trolling alert … trolling alert…… dha dha dha dha….

    what a load of non-sense… but I really have to say it was worth the whole “ball massage” thing… a woman would never post that kind of grafic detail… or post that on a forum first post….and the whole change in attitude… LOL
    trolling but for sure a good one! It is entertaining Big%20smile

    [/QUOTE]I thought all the threads in the Romance section of this forum were trolls

  • #106639

    EditedDougSP2009-04-06 09:40:37

  • #107398

    CrazuMovies
    Member

    Gringa,
    I feel for you. It is hard to imagine what you are going through. I think you courageous to forgive this person. I hope you have many ‘uneventful’ years together with him. You have proven yourself worthy to be in the relationship once, that’s all you’ll ever need, don’t do it again. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
    I don’t think this is a cultural difference between the US and Brazil. A cultural difference would be for you to be sitting in your living room in Brazil, he walks in and says, “Wow, I just did something I haven’t done for a long time. I went down to the … and had a girl … for money. Just like the good old times!” Fight ensues, differences are worked out etc.
    This is not what happened. I am sure that while you were in the US you communicated with him. He probably told you he had a bad day at work, he went to the mall, he ate ice cream. Why didn’t he tell you about the ‘massage’? Because he knew you wouldn’t agree, knew it wasn’t acceptable etc.
    To try and explain this as cultural difference is a coward’s excuse. If he is doing something that he can’t tell you, its a problem.
    Best of luck,
    B

  • #107405

    irishvan
    Member

    Cultural differences…hell. There is NO gray area between right and wrong no matter where you live. Everyone tries to be so damn politically correct now days and can’t be real in what is right and wrong… need to justify everything, don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, don’t want to say something is bad… bull****.

  • #107679

    Anonymous

    [
    [/QUOTE]
    London Lad; my original post was written right when I found out about what happenend. I was very emotional and hadn’t had much time to process what happenend. What has occured in the meantime is that I have calmed down, meditated on the situation, and forgiven him.
    Regarding my statement about carioca men seeing sex workers and going to termas as “normal”, I have spoken to various people since the incident and found that it is not uncommon for men to go to “termas” here in Rio, married or unmarried. I haven’t taken an exhaustive survey, but from what I’ve heard it leads me to believe this is fairly normalized behavior.
    Also, try doing a google search for “termas” and “rio de Janeiro”, and you will see that there are many many of these places. Obviously there must be a great demand for them. Do you really think that only single men go to these places?
    Like I’ve already said a few times, I don’t agree with what he did…but I have forgiven him. Think of me what you will.
    [/QUOTE]
    I am a brazilian woman born and raised in Rio and the truth is:
    Of course, there are a lot of termas in Rio and unfortunatelly a lot of man (married and unmarried) that go to them. This is so, because most of the women in Brazil are not self assure enough, and lack self respect and accept this situation. Like you seem to be doing…Of course there are exceptions, women like me, that would never keep on going out with man that f**k around… We deserve more than that… Yes, it is hard to find faithful man in Brazil (maybe that’s why I married a foreigner). Everybody knows what is right and what is wrong (even in Brazil, and that’s why the machistas hide what they do). The reason men are so unfaithful in Brazil is not some exotic cultural difference…it’s just because there are too many women like you, eager to forgive, no matter what … Open your eyes, woman…

  • #107685

    needhelp
    Member

    Yeah, I totally agree with arqueira.

  • #107699

    irishvan
    Member

    Sorry…I just can’t let this rest.

    If you forgave him, you just gave him permission to screw around some more. You have totally devalued yourself in accepting his behavior. Him confessing the fact to you has little to do with the act. Wonder how many more times he has done this and you don’t know. I guess if you don’t mind sharing intimacy with your partner, fine. But it cheapens it if he hasn’t kept it special for you…and lets anyone give hime a ‘ball massage’. Different strokes for different folks, literally…but it is certainly not acceptable in a healthy, committed, and valued relationship in ANY culture.

  • #108400

    joepalano
    Member

    You know what, leave him while you can….he thinks you are a kind of retard person or something. Besides, you don’t want to get sick from him, do you??? You are in a risk….I am sorry, but he doesn’t even like you. Take Care,Unhappy

  • #109023

    BevaLascica
    Member

    The fact of the matter is that all engaged guys in Brazil will occasionally get ball massages from professionals– or full service. It’s quite normal. Look around town, why do y’all think there are some many Whore Houses everywhere? They need customers to survive.

  • #109463

    BevaLascica
    Member

    [QUOTE=frank4000][QUOTE=Trog]The fact of the matter is that all engaged guys in Brazil will occasionally get ball massages from professionals– or full service. It’s quite normal. Look around town, why do y’all think there are some many Whore Houses everywhere? They need customers to survive. [/QUOTE]

    so are you saying that what they do is right?

    [/QUOTE]
    There is no right or wrong, it’s just the way it is, it’s part of brazilian culture.
    Mohammad and Salim of middle-east buy children to be their wives everyday, is that wrong? Maybe according to U.S standards, but not over there. Half of the women in this planet are bought from their parents or forced into arranged marriages and you think getting your balls cuddled by a professional “masseuse” is wrong? LOL

  • #109464

    irishvan
    Member

    I know plenty of men in Brazil that love their wives and don’t get a ‘ball massage’ or ‘full service’. Saying its part of the culture is a lame excuse. It’s not acceptable no matter what. Part of Brazilian culture..bull****.

  • #109468

    BevaLascica
    Member

    [QUOTE=MovingSoon]I know plenty of men in Brazil that love their wives and don’t get a ‘ball massage’ or ‘full service’.

    Saying its part of the culture is a lame excuse.
    It’s not acceptable no matter what.
    Part of Brazilian culture..bull****.

    [/QUOTE]
    Plenty of brazilian guys also don’t play soccer, don’t party at Carnaval, don’t play Capoeira and neither dance Samba or Forró. That doesn’t make these things less part of the brazilian cultural manifestation… They don’t do that simply because it’s just their CHOICE of not doing it.

  • #109472

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=MovingSoon]

    It’s not acceptable no matter what.

    [/QUOTE]
    I’d say it’s acceptable if both parties agree it is.

  • #109493

    x32792
    Member

    [QUOTE=sven][QUOTE=MovingSoon]

    It’s not acceptable no matter what.

    [/QUOTE]
    I’d say it’s acceptable if both parties agree it is.
    [/QUOTE]So you just see it as contract law LOLLOL

  • #109508

    irishvan
    Member

    See…if both parties agree then it’s called a party!! Break out the oil and butter and lets parrrtttyyyy….Evil%20SmileThumbs%20UpBig%20smile

  • #109527

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=London Lad][QUOTE=sven][QUOTE=MovingSoon]

    It’s not acceptable no matter what.

    [/QUOTE]
    I’d say it’s acceptable if both parties agree it is.
    [/QUOTE]So you just see it as contract law LOLLOL
    [/QUOTE]
    Sure, an oral agreement is also a contract. LOL

  • #109529

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=MovingSoon]See…if both parties agree then it’s called a party!!

    Break out the oil and butter and lets parrrtttyyyy….Evil%20SmileThumbs%20UpBig%20smile

    [/QUOTE]
    It would only be a party is both parties to the oral agreement where in the same room as the ball masseuse Embarrassed

  • #109577

    off white/opaqueEmbarrassed

  • #109583

    irishvan
    Member

    we may have crossed the line on this one boys… ALRIGHT>>>we perverts like being on the other side of the lineThumbs%20Up

  • #110129

    Your boyfriend is an idiot for telling you… Maybe he’s so f***ing good looking he doesnt need to worry about whether you like him or not. I personally dont f**k brasses/prostitutes/hookers or whore I need to know someone likes me for who I am, I’ve always been effeminate like that Big%20smile

  • #110146

    So, you’re an effeminate male????? Or a girl?

  • #110175

    hollybee
    Member

    Wow, I’ve just seen this topic. Trog is on the right lines. Many Brazilian men that i know think it is perfectly normal to have another women, whether she be a prostitute, semi prostitute or just another women. It is part of the culture here and some women accept it and others dont, but generally they seem to accept it, rightly or wrongly. I remember my ex-girlfriend mentioning this many years ago when i first visited Brazil. Personaly i find it weird, but then again i’m not Brazilian. SmileSardukar2009-01-02 16:55:13

  • #110203

    If I was an effeminate girl I could forego the whole calling myself effeminate, it would just be a given as I would be a female. However if you need me to answer the question, I am a male with some feminine qualities(like not using prostitutes)

  • #110218

    Not wanting to use a prostitute doesn’t make you feminine, it makes you self respecting.

  • #110692

    aleena
    Member

    Gringa what makes you think he will not do it again?
    If he really LOVED you why would he seeks sexual action elsewhere?
    So you were away? What this guy does not have self control? Come on his excuse with this stuff about culture, hey what he did is wrong and totally disrespectful to you.
    Regardless if you love him, I think anybody who does anything like that with me, I would drop the idiot.

  • #110705

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=SpursBrit]I am a male with some feminine qualities(like not using prostitutes)[/QUOTE]
    What makes you think that women don’t use prostitutes (either male or female)???? Confused

  • #110706

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=gringomike]Not wanting to use a prostitute doesn’t make you feminine, it makes you self respecting.[/QUOTE]
    I may be a bit to liberal for you, but I have no clue as to why not using prostitues should be self respecting.
    I’d say it’s much more self respecting and respecting to other party to use the services of a prostitute than getting a girl to like you, have sex with you and then never answer the phone when she calls.
    At least the hooker knows what you want and you know what she wants and at the end of it, everybody is wins.

  • #110708

    BevaLascica
    Member

    [QUOTE=Rocinhajj]

    If he really LOVED you why would he seeks sexual action elsewhere?

    [/QUOTE] Because love and sex are two things totally different altogether.

  • #110712

    BevaLascica
    Member

    [QUOTE=gringomike]Not wanting to use a prostitute doesn’t make you feminine, it makes you self respecting. [/QUOTE] What’s the difference between using a prostitute and endorsing a greedy wife/girlfriend? At least the prostitute is pretty honest about her intentions and definitely a whole lot cheaper in the long run… Big%20smile

  • #110722

    Let me clarify. I would not seek the services while in a relationship. I would have the self respect and that of my girl not to do so. If, however, on my own and without a girlfriend/wife there is no problem. I am all for supporting the oldest profession. Unlike a relationship where there is a lot of gray and you are still paying, there is no gray area. You pay to play. As for not answering calls after a hook up? Well that’s just part of the game if you hit and run on a one night stand. Not my cup of tea, but purely legal in the rules of the “trying to get laid handbook”.

  • #110725

    Completely agree. Dont do either of the above things. A puta is a puta is a puta, don’t touch ’em they’re bad bad people!! Although I do admire the cash in hand prostitutes honesty, however, it must play havoc for there self esteem Embarrassed

  • #110736

    Milenko
    Participant

    I would like to stress out something here. It’s a well known fact really. Hookers admit that majority of their customers are married men, who generally seek in hookers what they can’t get at home. We are talking large percent here could as high as 50 % of customers.

  • #110737

    Its official, true love is dead Tongue

  • #110740

    Milenko
    Participant

    No true love is not dead …. I said 50 percent not all of them … Wink

  • #110801

    Love = (Looks + Convenience) X Money That’s my honest opinion Heart

  • #110820

    irishvan
    Member

    I think there is an EXTREMELY thin line between love and lust… MovingSoon2009-01-08 12:43:42

  • #110821

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=MovingSoon]I think there is an EXTREMELY think line between love and lust…[/QUOTE]
    Oh really…
    a THINK line ???

  • #110835

    There’s a thin line but there ain’t much thinking going on around it HugCensoredBig%20smile

  • #110860

    hollybee
    Member

    [QUOTE=SpursBrit]Love = (Looks + Convenience) X Money That’s my honest opinion Heart[/QUOTE] Very good but why x money? For Women Love = Money + Convenience + Looks For Men Love = Looks + Lust + Convenience (Generally No Money LOL) Smile

  • #110863

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=Sardukar]

    For Men Love = Looks + Lust + Convenience (Generally No Money LOL)[/QUOTE]
    The formula is:
    For Men Love = ((Looks + Lust) OR Money) + Convenience
  • #110902

    Sardukar, The equation is supposed to represent an alternative for love Love in its purest form, as suggested by Plato, needs not money, convenience or even sex. ShockedSpursBrit2009-01-08 17:38:03

  • #110928

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=SpursBrit]

    Sardukar,
    The equation is supposed to represent an alternative for love
    Love in its purest form, as suggested by Plato, needs not money, convenience or even sex. Shocked

    [/QUOTE]
    You know that, in ancient greece, true love was only considered to be able to exist among men right Confused

  • #110938

    Their saying was “women are for children, little boys are for pleasure”, something I oft say at dinner parties(well I would if i ever went to any)

  • #110966

    There’s that feminine side again.

  • #110968

    LOL

  • #110970

    LOL

  • #110975

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    “for the original human nature was not likethe present, but different. The sexes were not two as they are now, butoriginally three in number ; there was man, woman, and the union of thetwo”
    “Zeus discovered a way. He said : Methinks I havea plan which will humble their pride and improve their manners ; men shallcontinue to exist, but I will cut them in two and then they will be diminishedin strength and increased in numbers ; this will have the advantage ofmaking them more profitable to us. They shall walk upright on two legs”
    “and after the transposition the male generated in the female in order that bythe mutual embraces of man and woman they might breed, and the race might continue ;or if man came to man they might be satisfied, and rest, and go their ways tothe business of life : so ancient is the desire of one another which isimplanted in us, reuniting our original nature, making one of two, and healingthe state of man.”
    Symposium – Plato (on Love).

  • #110978

    oh!

  • #111842

    esther
    Member

    Wowwwwwww, that’s quite a story. To be frank – you should dump his sorry ass – and find a real man that loves you and only you. As its very clear he’s into stupid games that can and will lead to the transmission of (STD). Do I need to say anymore? I think not. Good luck with the man hunt.

  • #112141

    BevaLascica
    Member

    [QUOTE=otd_uk] As its very clear he’s into stupid games that can and will lead to the transmission of (STD). [/QUOTE] That’s a thing that virtually every single brazilian is into, if you haven’t noticed yet. They are into games, period. And transmission of STDs has nothing to do with it.

  • #132755

    Avatar
    Member

    At least he was honest. 99,9% of men would have gotten the massage but never admitted it. And to all you women who answer saying, ‘not mine, thank god I’m in the 0,01%’ – forget it. Two months out of the country (his country). Most women, although they would never admit it, wouldn’t even want to be with the kind of man who would stay at home pining. O que os olhos não ver, o coração não sente. In this case it was the ears but you get my point.

  • #172157

    anthonyweber
    Member

    [QUOTE=3casas]I will respond as a woman and ask what the man would have done if the woman informed him that she cheated “only with a prostitute” and “it was only oral sex”. He’d probably have an apoplectic fit and toss her out.
    [/QUOTE]
    For sure.
    I am getting the impression that it is brasilian men who are unfaithful. I still yet to get some insight about brasilian women.

  • #172159

    devildoge9
    Member

    Brazilian men are snakes…im sorry but they are. And I think the ones that dont cheat, are the ones that DONT ADMIT to cheating and that, in my book is even worse. My boyfriend is one of these-because apparently I got an STI from thin air. I think Brazilian men are better of with Brazilian women because it is the norm for them to turn a blind eye.

  • #172160

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=amypie1]I got an STI from thin air.[/QUOTE]
    You can only get those from thick air
    [QUOTE=amypie1]
    I think Brazilian men are better of with Brazilian women because it is the norm for them to turn a blind eye.
    [/QUOTE]
    You’re joking right?

  • #172163

    ClaudePeebles
    Participant

    [QUOTE=sven]
    [QUOTE=amypie1]
    I think Brazilian men are better of with Brazilian women because it is the norm for them to turn a blind eye.
    [/QUOTE]

    You’re joking right?[/QUOTE] Definitely joking, I live under the threat of castration if caught within half a mile of Copacabana after dark….

  • #172167

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=Terry_2]

    Definitely joking, I live under the threat of castration if caught within half a mile of Copacabana after dark….[/QUOTE]
    You can be sure that those are not vile threats, they are promises
  • #172172

    devildoge9
    Member

    no! im not joking! maybe you would be under the threat of castration if you are caught, but I bet they are doing nada to actually catch you in the first place…well at least its like that where I live!

  • #172173

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=amypie1] no! im not joking! maybe you would be under the threat of castration if you are caught, but I bet they are doing nada to actually catch you in the first place…well at least its like that where I live!
    [/QUOTE]
    Where?
    The boonies?
    A colegue of mime divorced his wife when she suddenly appeared with the Mother in Law at the university for “verification” sven2011-05-05 17:36:40

  • #172793

    Ron
    Participant

    “I did not have sex with that woman”
    Quote – USA President Bill Clinton.
    Ratified by action (or more correctly, no action) by the US Congress.
    So it appears that oral or manual gratification is not sex.
    Bill Clinton would agree with your ‘boyfriend’. If Hilary can accept it …………?
    In my batchelor days here in Brazil I used to go girl chasing with my Brazilian buddies so I have a good idea of their mindset regarding ‘gringo’ women. They generally look on foreign women, especially blondes, as ‘status scores’ for bragging rights. They do not care how unattractive the women may be. It, of course, works both ways, hence the reason Brazil has such a thriving sex tourism industry.
    The word for chivalry in Brazil is ‘cavalheirismo’. Derived from cavalier: “Arrogant, offhand”.
    Whereas western ‘chivalry’ is “courteous and considerate behaviour, esp, toward women”.

  • #172830

    patrice
    Member

    WOW I have just come across this topic and while it is entertaning there is a sad and serious side to it.
    To the OP Im sorry but you deserve much better than this guy, every woman derserves better than this. You are saying that he is making great strides in impriving his ways but you are also saying that this is a Cultural thing. There for he WILL do this again. If both he and you agree that this is cultural then it wont stop. What a load of cr*p to use culture as an excuse to cheat. Sorry but this is such a cowardly thing it makes me sick.
    To the people who say because it happens a lot it is OK… and there is no Right or Wrong… huh????? again cowardly attitudes!! Maybe the people who have never had or are in a successful long term loving relationship should avoid commenting about things they have no knowledge of.

    Another thing you need to remember is that you say you made it clear that you did not like these sorts of places but he still went and used there services with this knowledge. Is this showing respect to you?
    Its clear you love this man and are willing to do whatever you can to make things work but does he really love you? Maybe he does, but you have said yourself that this is a cultural thing and that its “normal” which proberbly will mean he will do it again and again but maybe wont tell you next time. Is it also cultural to keep secrets from your partner? If so then maybe that will be OK too.
    It was said in one post that a Brasilian man should only be with a Brasilian woman as she understands and will turn a blind eye. Maybe this is because for her it is a green light to do the same thing? This maybe is the case with some women but Im sure this is not something you want in your relationship. In another post someone said that it is more normal that if a Brasilian woman found out there husband or Boyfriend was cheating on them the options would be to kill him or chop off his important parts….. In my expierence this would be closer to the truth. Most Brasilian women value loyalty at least as much maybe more than in other countries and the worst thing that a man could ever do is cheat on her!!!
    For all the men who think this is OK I would like to know how you would feel if you GF or Wife went to a male prostitute and performed oral sex on him while you were out of town? Guess since its normal it would be ok with you!
    In my opinion.. Only people with low self esteem and no self confidence would accept this type of behavior because they are too scared to loose the other person!! Value yourself and make sure your man values you as you deserve to be valued.
    Good luck I hope that I am wrong and you have a wonderful happy life :)
  • #172833

    Milenko
    Participant

    [QUOTE=deanwatts88]

    For all the men who think this is OK I would like to know how you would feel if you GF or Wife went to a male prostitute and performed oral sex on him while you were out of town? Guess since its normal it would be ok with you!

    [/QUOTE]
    This usually doesn’t happen. Women will most likely go out and pick the first bloke available to shag him, doesn’t matter ugly or pretty.
    While on the other hand men would usually go to parlour and pick the best girl (or two … LOL) available.
    ptic2011-05-14 14:12:05

  • #172876

    Anonymous

    when i got to know that so many womens has Hillary Clinton as their inspirational person in life i also wondered if look the other way is a cultural feature in America. Also it made me wondered if americans married mens and womens in their work places can receive the kind of treatmente that Bill did and sleep around is considered natural normal too??? How is Bill clinton looked upon by the male population, a heroe or a bimbo of a president??

  • #172880

    Ron
    Participant

    Clinton has bagged $65 million in speaking fees since leaving office. Bimbos don’t make those bucks. I think the true percentage of men who have strayed during marriage would be closer to 99% than the 57% stated earlier. If women want to continually believe that the sex industry is geared toward single men and that their man is the 1% then who am I to stop them from deceiving themselves.
    Nature is nature and it is the male instinct to ensure the survival of the species by impregnating every female he possibly can.
    Whereas female sex drive is time related the male sex drive is usually maintained throughout life (whether married or single). So far, I can confirm this fact.
    There is only one thing that stops a man from straying and that is ‘respect and honour’ for the relationship he has entered into. If he has strayed then the respect and honour has gone from the relationship and can never be fully retrieved.
    Gringa 1981, who started this mammoth thread, is typical of so many women. So naive as to be unbelievable.
    The entire problem comes down to the fact that, unfortunately, when god made man he didn’t ensure that there was enough blood in his body to maintain an erection and brain function at the same time.Captain Ron2011-05-15 20:00:14

  • #172897

    celso
    Member

    [QUOTE=Captain Ron]Clinton has bagged $65 million in speaking fees since leaving office. Bimbos don’t make those bucks. I think the true percentage of men who have strayed during marriage would be closer to 99% than the 57% stated earlier. If women want to continually believe that the sex industry is geared toward single men and that their man is the 1% then who am I to stop them from deceiving themselves.
    Nature is nature and it is the male instinct to ensure the survival of the species by impregnating every female he possibly can.
    Whereas female sex drive is time related the male sex drive is usually maintained throughout life (whether married or single). So far, I can confirm this fact.
    There is only one thing that stops a man from straying and that is ‘respect and honour’ for the relationship he has entered into. If he has stayed then the respect and honour has gone from the relationship and can never be fully retrieved.
    Gringa 1981, who started this mammoth thread, is typical of so many women. So naive as to be unbelievable.
    The entire problem comes down to the fact that, unfortunately, when god made man he didn’t ensure that there was enough blood in his body to maintain an erection and brain function at the same time.[/QUOTE]

    Good job Captain Ron for your wise evaluation of this topic. The fact is that men have two brains and often it is the one below that rules and is known as the “dickbrain.” I agree that if her future husband thinks that a “ball massage” by a gp in Rio is not cheating, she should dump his ass.
  • #172921

    Milenko
    Participant

    Is a well known fact that about 75 % of men if not more who are visiting prostitutes are married.

  • #172930

    Anonymous

    Dump him! Don’t just dump him….KICK him out, kick him in those sacred balls that he paid to have massaged! lol

    Yes, men and women here in America cheat as well. It’s just more hidden, except for the reality shows such as Cheaters and Maury Povich that survive on revealing it for their ratings.
    I was married – and faithful – to my high school sweetheart for 15 years when I found he was having an “emotional” ( his words ) via text messages with a woman he works with. That was it for me, kicked him out that day and haven’t looked back. I knew I would never be able to fully trust him and I didn’t sign on to be a detective AND wife. Nope…see ya!
    But we are good friends, I’m not going to let it make me one of those bitter and crazy women. Nope, I started doing the things that I had wanted to do that he never did such as traveling so…
    I do know there are men out there who can be faithful and it not kill them. They are far and few in between but they are there.
    “Whereas female sex drive is time related the male sex drive is usually maintained throughout life (whether married or single). ” This whole idea that women become less interested in sex as they get older is crap. I’m only 37 but not once have I ever lost my sex drive. As a matter of fact, mine was double or more what my husband’s was, I was the one complaining over here. Each woman is different and some men need to consider that if she isn’t interested, maybe it’s not that she doesn’t want sex, she just doesn’t want it with you! LOL
    “There is only one thing that stops a man from straying and that is ‘respect and honour’ for the relationship he has entered into.” True and if the woman doesn’t command this then or she goes into denial or turns her head, then she has no right to complain when he strays.
    Men are men and the same everywhere, the only difference are the consequences that are suffered from the actions they participate in. What I will never understand is WHY enter into a relationship if you can’t be failthful, just stay single for God’s sake!
  • #172933

    jonathand
    Member

    [QUOTE=ptic]Is a well known fact that about 75 % of men if not more who are visiting prostitutes are married. [/QUOTE] I have a friend who is a prostitute in Salvador. (No, I don’t know her through her ‘work’ !!! LOL) She totally agrees with this statistic… at least in Brazil. Confused

  • #172937

    patrice
    Member

    [QUOTE=Shay]

    I do know there are men out there who can be faithful and it not kill them. They are far and few in between but they are there.
    [/QUOTE]
    Maybe there are more faithfull men out there than you think its just that the stories about good loyal relationships dont make for such interesting reading LOL
    [QUOTE]
    “There is only one thing that stops a man from straying and that is ‘respect and honour’ for the relationship he has entered into.” True and if the woman doesn’t command this then or she goes into denial or turns her head, then she has no right to complain when he strays.
    [/QUOTE]
    Excatly!!!!!!! Well said. This only feeds this so called “culture” that is being used as an excuse to be an As**ole
    [QUOTE]
    Men are men and the same everywhere, the only difference are the consequences that are suffered from the actions they participate in. What I will never understand is WHY enter into a relationship if you can’t be failthful, just stay single for God’s sake!
    [/QUOTE]
    Actually I think that most people enter into the relationship with the intention of being faithfull. If for whatever reason the relationship breaks down to the point that either party feels the desire to stray then there is already problems. The straying is not usually the cause of the issues but the symptom and maybe the last straw for most. For some this becomes the thing that will give the other partner the strength to do what needs to happen and end things. Allow both parties to move on and find what they are lacking in there relationship with someone else.
    The point here is that if either party is straying then there are other problems. Either find what the problems are and fix them if possible or move on. BUT… Do it before the straying!!!!!!!! This for many as in your case is something that cannot be forgotten and cannot be fixed. Without the trust in a relationship it will never be as good as it could be.
  • #172939

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=ptic] Is a well known fact that about 75 % of men if not more who are visiting prostitutes are married.
    [/QUOTE]
    Is that fact coming from a thumb or from some significant statistical study?

  • #172947

    BevaLascica
    Member

    [QUOTE=Shay]Dump him! Don’t just dump him….KICK him out, kick him in those sacred balls that he paid to have massaged! lol

    Yes, men and women here in America cheat as well. It’s just more hidden, except for the reality shows such as Cheaters and Maury Povich that survive on revealing it for their ratings.
    I was married – and faithful – to my high school sweetheart for 15 years when I found he was having an “emotional” ( his words ) via text messages with a woman he works with. That was it for me, kicked him out that day and haven’t looked back. I knew I would never be able to fully trust him and I didn’t sign on to be a detective AND wife. Nope…see ya!
    But we are good friends, I’m not going to let it make me one of those bitter and crazy women. Nope, I started doing the things that I had wanted to do that he never did such as traveling so…
    I do know there are men out there who can be faithful and it not kill them. They are far and few in between but they are there.
    “Whereas female sex drive is time related the male sex drive is usually maintained throughout life (whether married or single). ” This whole idea that women become less interested in sex as they get older is crap. I’m only 37 but not once have I ever lost my sex drive. As a matter of fact, mine was double or more what my husband’s was, I was the one complaining over here.Each woman is different and some men need to consider that if she isn’t interested, maybe it’s not that she doesn’t want sex, she just doesn’t want it with you! LOL
    “There is only one thing that stops a man from straying and that is ‘respect and honour’ for the relationship he has entered into.” True and if the woman doesn’t command this then or she goes into denial or turns her head, then she has no right to complain when he strays.
    Men are men and the same everywhere, the only difference are the consequences that are suffered from the actions they participate in. What I will never understand is WHY enter into a relationship if you can’t be failthful, just stay single for God’s sake!

    [/QUOTE]

    That’s because men cannot have sex with the same woman for very long periods. We are genetically programmed to have as much variety as possible, othwerwise we lose our interest. It doesn’t mean that your sex drive was higher that his… You can be sure that if he had a new woman he would be banging the sh*t out of her everyday.
  • #172952

    Anonymous

    [QUOTE=Trog][QUOTE=Shay]Dump him! Don’t just dump him….KICK him out, kick him in those sacred balls that he paid to have massaged! lol

    Yes, men and women here in America cheat as well. It’s just more hidden, except for the reality shows such as Cheaters and Maury Povich that survive on revealing it for their ratings.
    I was married – and faithful – to my high school sweetheart for 15 years when I found he was having an “emotional” ( his words ) via text messages with a woman he works with. That was it for me, kicked him out that day and haven’t looked back. I knew I would never be able to fully trust him and I didn’t sign on to be a detective AND wife. Nope…see ya!
    But we are good friends, I’m not going to let it make me one of those bitter and crazy women. Nope, I started doing the things that I had wanted to do that he never did such as traveling so…
    I do know there are men out there who can be faithful and it not kill them. They are far and few in between but they are there.
    “Whereas female sex drive is time related the male sex drive is usually maintained throughout life (whether married or single). ” This whole idea that women become less interested in sex as they get older is crap. I’m only 37 but not once have I ever lost my sex drive. As a matter of fact, mine was double or more what my husband’s was, I was the one complaining over here.Each woman is different and some men need to consider that if she isn’t interested, maybe it’s not that she doesn’t want sex, she just doesn’t want it with you! LOL
    “There is only one thing that stops a man from straying and that is ‘respect and honour’ for the relationship he has entered into.” True and if the woman doesn’t command this then or she goes into denial or turns her head, then she has no right to complain when he strays.
    Men are men and the same everywhere, the only difference are the consequences that are suffered from the actions they participate in. What I will never understand is WHY enter into a relationship if you can’t be failthful, just stay single for God’s sake!

    [/QUOTE]

    That’s because men cannot have sex with the same woman for very long periods. We are genetically programmed to have as much variety as possible, othwerwise we lose our interest. It doesn’t mean that your sex drive was higher that his… You can be sure that if he had a new woman he would be banging the sh*t out of her everyday.

    [/QUOTE]

    Well he’s dating the woman he cheated on me with so I’ll ask him if this is true..LOL
    I’ve heard this “scientific theory” as well and I think it’s crap for the most part. Women as well would father children from more than one man in history so it’s not just men who want to spread their seed. We wanted seeds from many different men, most likely the strongest, etc, to ensure our children’s survival, etc. But I don’t care about all of this because we aren’t living in 2000 B.C., we are living in 2011. And we all have “instincts” we have to fight against every single day so to say that men cheat because it’s their “instinct” to want variety is BS!
    I’ve had ample opportunity to have some great times and live out a few boy toy fantasies or two but I didn’t for many reasons. And no, the reason that they were under legal age wasn’t the reason..LOL I require them to at least be legal! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
    My point is that people – men and women – cheat for many different reasons. Just be honest about why is all I ask. If you don’t find your partner attractive anymore or his beer keg gut smothers you when you are making love and you prefer a six pack…be honest! Talk about these things and work it out or just leave with at least some dignity in tact. The funny thing is that we saw many of our friends go through divorces and I was very open and honest and always told him. “Look, if you decide one day that you just don’t love me anymore or whatever…just tell me and we can end it. Just don’t cheat on me because if you don’t want to be with me than I don’t want you to be with me.”
    But in the end, he admitted that he was too coward to do so. I didn’t mention that we have two children as well ( 10 and 12 ) so it wasn’t just me he hurt, he hurt them too.
    Now, if a married man blatantly flirts wth me, because I have been on the other end, I politely make it known that it is inappropriate however innocent or “funny” he thinks he is being.
  • #172953

    Ron
    Participant

    37 eh Shay? Menopause is just around the corner.
    See if it’s crap then.
    How come you do not see many older women with much younger men? (Unless the woman is rich.)
    You have to watch out for women in their thirties. They start realizing how soon the Big ‘M’ will be upon them and how much they think they might have missed out on sexually in their younger lives. They often turn quite promiscuous. This again is nature telling them that their time of usefulness (read childbearing) is drawing to a close.
    They will also get an urge to go to University, become an airline stewardess, a casino croupier or some other profession which will put them in the eye of as many potential mates as possible.
    We are programmed by nature, not rules, regulations or religious ideologies.
    He’s one that will get the pot bubbling – Less attractive women are usually better in bed! Whereas beautiful women have no trouble attracting potential mates plainer types rely on sexual prowess to keep the mates happy and coming back. The reputation doesn’t hurt either.
    Can you believe that all this discussion started because some guy got his balls massaged? It has now received nearly 22,000 views, second only to living in Brazil.
    What does this tell us?Captain Ron2011-05-17 05:47:41

  • #172954

    BevaLascica
    Member

    [QUOTE=Shay][QUOTE=Trog][QUOTE=Shay]Dump him! Don’t just dump him….KICK him out, kick him in those sacred balls that he paid to have massaged! lol

    Yes, men and women here in America cheat as well. It’s just more hidden, except for the reality shows such as Cheaters and Maury Povich that survive on revealing it for their ratings.
    I was married – and faithful – to my high school sweetheart for 15 years when I found he was having an “emotional” ( his words ) via text messages with a woman he works with. That was it for me, kicked him out that day and haven’t looked back. I knew I would never be able to fully trust him and I didn’t sign on to be a detective AND wife. Nope…see ya!
    But we are good friends, I’m not going to let it make me one of those bitter and crazy women. Nope, I started doing the things that I had wanted to do that he never did such as traveling so…
    I do know there are men out there who can be faithful and it not kill them. They are far and few in between but they are there.
    “Whereas female sex drive is time related the male sex drive is usually maintained throughout life (whether married or single). ” This whole idea that women become less interested in sex as they get older is crap. I’m only 37 but not once have I ever lost my sex drive. As a matter of fact, mine was double or more what my husband’s was, I was the one complaining over here.Each woman is different and some men need to consider that if she isn’t interested, maybe it’s not that she doesn’t want sex, she just doesn’t want it with you! LOL
    “There is only one thing that stops a man from straying and that is ‘respect and honour’ for the relationship he has entered into.” True and if the woman doesn’t command this then or she goes into denial or turns her head, then she has no right to complain when he strays.
    Men are men and the same everywhere, the only difference are the consequences that are suffered from the actions they participate in. What I will never understand is WHY enter into a relationship if you can’t be failthful, just stay single for God’s sake!

    [/QUOTE]

    That’s because men cannot have sex with the same woman for very long periods. We are genetically programmed to have as much variety as possible, othwerwise we lose our interest. It doesn’t mean that your sex drive was higher that his… You can be sure that if he had a new woman he would be banging the sh*t out of her everyday.

    [/QUOTE]

    Well he’s dating the woman he cheated on me with so I’ll ask him if this is true..LOL
    I’ve heard this “scientific theory” as well and I think it’s crap for the most part. Women as well would father children from more than one man in history so it’s not just men who want to spread their seed. We wanted seeds from many different men, most likely the strongest, etc, to ensure our children’s survival, etc. But I don’t care about all of this because we aren’t living in 2000 B.C., we are living in 2011. And we all have “instincts” we have to fight against every single day so to say that men cheat because it’s their “instinct” to want variety is BS!
    I’ve had ample opportunity to have some great times and live out a few boy toy fantasies or two but I didn’t for many reasons. And no, the reason that they were under legal age wasn’t the reason..LOL I require them to at least be legal! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
    My point is that people – men and women – cheat for many different reasons. Just be honest about why is all I ask. If you don’t find your partner attractive anymore or his beer keg gut smothers you when you are making love and you prefer a six pack…be honest! Talk about these things and work it out or just leave with at least some dignity in tact. The funny thing is that we saw many of our friends go through divorces and I was very open and honest and always told him. “Look, if you decide one day that you just don’t love me anymore or whatever…just tell me and we can end it. Just don’t cheat on me because if you don’t want to be with me than I don’t want you to be with me.”
    But in the end, he admitted that he was too coward to do so. I didn’t mention that we have two children as well ( 10 and 12 ) so it wasn’t just me he hurt, he hurt them too.
    Now, if a married man blatantly flirts wth me, because I have been on the other end, I politely make it known that it is inappropriate however innocent or “funny” he thinks he is being.

    [/QUOTE]

    Well, I was not being a cheater’s apologist. I was merely stating that alot of men lose their sexual desire in their partners after 5-10 years or so (but they are too cowards to take action and break up–especially if married with children). That’s not an excuse for cheating, though. And the only person he’s cheating on is you, he is not married with your kids, leave them out of this.
  • #172957

    BevaLascica
    Member

    [QUOTE=Captain Ron]37 eh Trog? Menopause is just around the corner.
    See if it’s crap then.
    How come you do not see many older women with much younger men? (Unless the woman is rich.)
    You have to watch out for women in their thirties. They start realizing how soon the Big ‘M’ will be upon them and how much they think they might have missed out on sexually in their younger lives. They often turn quite promiscuous. This again is nature telling them that their time of usefulness (read childbearing) is drawing to a close.
    They will also get an urge to go to University, become an airline stewardess, a casino croupier or some other profession which will put them in the eye of as many potential mates as possible.
    We are programmed by nature, not rules, regulations or religious ideologies.
    He’s one that will get the pot bubbling – Less attractive women are usually better in bed! Whereas beautiful women have no trouble attracting potential mates plainer types rely on sexual prowess to keep the mates happy and coming back. The reputation doesn’t hurt either.
    Can you believe that all this discussion started because some guy got his balls massaged? It has now received nearly 22,000 views, second only to living in Brazil.
    What does this tell us?[/QUOTE]

    Women between 28-35 = hell on earth.
  • #172969

    Milenko
    Participant

    [QUOTE=sven]
    Is that fact coming from a thumb or from some significant statistical study?[/QUOTE]
    Hiya, Sven. I read it somewhere on internet from various sources and all the articles agree on the fact that more that 50 % of men visiting prostitutes are married.

  • #172977

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    Hmmm, from 75% to 50% in a whim.
    The fact that 50% of men that visit prostitutes are married does not mean that 50% of all married men visit prostitutes.

  • #172986

    Milenko
    Participant

    [QUOTE=sven]Hmmm, from 75% to 50% in a whim.[/QUOTE]
    Yes but I said more than 50 % Winkso tecnically I wasn’t lying – let’s not split hairs, it’s not about the numbers and more about fact that married men are more frequent visitors than single man, are you married, Sven? ….LOL
    [QUOTE=sven]does not mean that 50% of all married men visit prostitutes.
    [/QUOTE]
    What? I never said that …
    ptic2011-05-16 16:41:47

  • #172987

    Anonymous

    [/QUOTE]

    That’s because men cannot have sex with the same woman for very long periods. We are genetically programmed to have as much variety as possible, othwerwise we lose our interest.

    [/QUOTE]

    I’ll play the BS card again here. Honestly…(LOL), I’m enjoying the debate here. I really do think that men play this card and many other BS cards alot just to rationalize their behaviour. Just my opinion.
    I think if more women would be honest, and trust me, I am an honest person…they would admit to themselves that we too get bored with the same man every night. Especially when he’s not aged well or taken good care of himself. Vacuuming all of that hair up off the bathroom floor and out of the sink and looking at the gut hanging over his waistband every day, can make a womans eyes stray to the nearest young eye candy around. LOL And vice versa..ladies, take care of yourself as well.
    For the record in my case, the other woman is older than I am. But MY guy is younger than my husband is…LOL
    It has been my experience that as men age, they get fat, bald, boring and just whine alot. ” I hate my job….I’m losing my hair…my golf game sucked today…look at my gut…I hate my boss…” blah, blah, blah. LOL
  • #172993

    patrice
    Member

    Yep many women are with younger men. Its more and more common. Every heard of the term cougar… Its actually been added to some dictionaries. Look it up ;)

    You guys ever thought that if you were performing up to expectation (for want of a better pharase LOL) the women would not go looking elswhere? To say that women when they are in there 30s start thinking about what they are missing out on and want to run off to become an air hostes etc so they can get lots of attention from men. Hmmmm This would only happen if there man is no longer up to the task!!! Think about it. And yes the same applies to women too.
  • #172995

    Anonymous

    [QUOTE=Captain Ron]37 eh Trog? Menopause is just around the corner.
    See if it’s crap then.
    How come you do not see many older women with much younger men? (Unless the woman is rich.)
    You have to watch out for women in their thirties. They start realizing how soon the Big ‘M’ will be upon them and how much they think they might have missed out on sexually in their younger lives. They often turn quite promiscuous. This again is nature telling them that their time of usefulness (read childbearing) is drawing to a close.
    They will also get an urge to go to University, become an airline stewardess, a casino croupier or some other profession which will put them in the eye of as many potential mates as possible.
    We are programmed by nature, not rules, regulations or religious ideologies.
    He’s one that will get the pot bubbling – Less attractive women are usually better in bed! Whereas beautiful women have no trouble attracting potential mates plainer types rely on sexual prowess to keep the mates happy and coming back. The reputation doesn’t hurt either.
    Can you believe that all this discussion started because some guy got his balls massaged? It has now received nearly 22,000 views, second only to living in Brazil.
    What does this tell us?[/QUOTE]

    Did you mean me and not Trog because I think Trog is a male…lol
    Menopause….bring it on! I’ve had my children and these PMS cramps are a bitch each month! HAHAHAHA
    And yes, more women are starting to date younger men, I’m one of them and I’m FAR from being rich. Dang it…I wish I were though..I’d have a whole bunch of boy toys around…HAHAHAHA
    I think men here win the award for the mid life crisis that you accuse women of going through. My 38 year old ex suddenly got interested in racing sportbikes and bought one even though he really can’t afford it. Also started doing some other mid life crisis behavior that screams he is having a mid life crisis. Not me…although I have always had a desire to be a flight attendant for travel benefits and the job is exciting, you don’t get bored, plus I just can’t stand to be in one place for very long. Sadly my life of having two kids doesn’t condone this right now so I wait.
    I don’t know about the less attractive women being great in bed, never been with a woman but I’ll tell ya…sometimes I can totally see why some convert to lesbianism…LOL
    I’ll say that this is true for men as well. The good looking men care more about what they look like and about receiving pleasure than satisfying the woman. Yeah…that’s not gonna work for me. Get out! LOL
    One of the great things about getting older…you know what you want and you aren’t afraid to tell them how to give it to you! Or get yourself…LOL

    Shay2011-05-16 17:05:54

  • #173025

    Anonymous

    Hahahaha two brains, I dare GBF to say his theory out loud to non-neanderthal friends. I think he’s more like half a brain!!!! Why do men on these forum sound so desperate about the other? I answer: because they know womens choose their love making mates, not the other way around.
    I think from looking your man’s male friends you can have a good idea of how he feels about fidelity. Also, especially the American society seems to feed this machoistic mentality of “spreeding the male’s seeds” to the average men, it is everywhere persistently, like womens couldnt do the same as them. Poor automatons everywhere act without any regard for what is really import in their lives.
    Someone said there are in fact only three marital status: single, in good company and in bad company. It seems from the mens writing on this site, women are definetely baaaaadly accompanied! LOL
    Another thing is that we womens/mens are about to get even more individualistic and focus less on a dependent childish love moving to a love with more identification and friendship. This type of healthy and rewarding relationship is more likely to last. Hooray to that!

  • #173044

    celso
    Member

    [QUOTE=DM22]Hahahaha two brains, I dare GBF to say his theory out loud to non-neanderthal friends. I think he’s more like half a brain!!!! Why do men on these forum sound so desperate about the other? I answer: because they know womens choose their love making mates, not the other way around.
    I think from looking your man’s male friends you can have a good idea of how he feels about fidelity. Also, especially the American society seems to feed this machoistic mentality of “spreeding the male’s seeds” to the average men, it is everywhere persistently, like womens couldnt do the same as them. Poor automatons everywhere act without any regard for what is really import in their lives.
    Someone said there are in fact only three marital status: single, in good company and in bad company. It seems from the mens writing on this site, women are definetely baaaaadly accompanied! LOL
    Another thing is that we womens/mens are about to get even more individualistic and focus less on a dependent childish love moving to a love with more identification and friendship. This type of healthy and rewarding relationship is more likely to last. Hooray to that!
    [/QUOTE]

    You didn’t get the joke. I know a ton of my Brazilian buddies who let their dick do the thinking. Just as the OP stated her fiance went for a “ball massage in Rio” and that in his Brazilian mindset is not “cheating.”
    I told her to dump his ass, yet you toss insults??? Very funny.LOLLOLLOL
  • #173055

    Anonymous

    You dont dare to mention the “two brains” part but you do repeat constantly to your ogre of mens friends that mens think with their dicks. You truelly believe it. It’s half a brain you should consider, they’re lacking nerve cell. Thake Bill clinton. Just because a half wit is making tons of money it doesnt mean he’s got a high IQ, he can have good connections within the corrupt elite of society, just like the low IQ Bush…. at least this is what people (with a whole wit) say.
    I dont mean to insult you, if you are good to your partner of women than I think you deserve to be well considered.
    One more thing, do you think that I believe in every word that is written on here. Most likely that I dont, especially coming from strange nationals of the most lying coutnry on earth. Why should i believe that the Brasilian mindset says that going with prostitutes is not cheating when I know for a fact that for most locals it is, hence the secrecy of brothels and going with hookers (why no Brazilian men will admit it to women, they all say they never slept with a hooker haha I think that the ones who strongly enphasize that are the ones who did go haha). Why dont you tell me there are weapons of mass destruction in Libia for all that I care.
    DM222011-05-17 10:01:10

  • #173068

    Ron
    Participant

    Yes Shay, I was replying to you and not Trog. Sorry Trog.
    I watched the TV show, ‘ The Cougar’, and felt embarrassed for the woman’s family. It’s a good name for those women tho – cougars are a wild and endangered species.
    I recently spent some time in Tobago in the Caribbean. This island has developed its sex industry around older ‘white’ women and the young ‘black’ boys. Of course the local boys don’t have a cent and my, (happily and faithfully married), wife and I spent many hours being amused and entertained watching this interaction. I am sure that these women actually thought that these strapping youths found them attractive.
    I am sorry Shay, but you give ME the impression of being a very bitter woman.
    Perhaps a holiday on Tobago is what you need?

  • #173080

    Anonymous

    Capstain Ron:
    You understand why some mens has a liking for younger womens but do not grasp why women can also like young chaps?? Do I need to be in menopause (using your argument in an attempt to degrade women) to feel attraction for younger guys?? It isnt uncommon for them to be physically more attractive than older men, to be funnier, to be more positive, less judgmental. There are plenty of reasons for women of any age to go out with a nice and interesting younger guy. Don’t look the other way, sir!
    Mr and Mrs Ron:
    http://trendsupdates.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/ogre.jpg

    DM222011-05-17 09:59:06

  • #173097

    Ron
    Participant

    From Captain Ron to DM22. If you can read that argument into what I have posted I am wasting my time participating in this forum.
    Most of the male comments throughout this discussion have been remarkably subtle in stating the facts of life.
    You along with other women have become defensive and I agree with GreatBallsoFire, YOU have become insulting.
    I can only assume by your childish posting of the photo that the 22 in your profile is your age.

  • #173098

    Anonymous

    [QUOTE=Captain Ron]Yes Shay, I was replying to you and not Trog. Sorry Trog.
    I watched the TV show, ‘ The Cougar’, and felt embarrassed for the woman’s family. It’s a good name for those women tho – cougars are a wild and endangered species.
    I recently spent some time in Tobago in the Caribbean. This island has developed its sex industry around older ‘white’ women and the young ‘black’ boys. Of course the local boys don’t have a cent and my, (happily and faithfully married), wife and I spent many hours being amused and entertained watching this interaction. I am sure that these women actually thought that these strapping youths found them attractive.
    I am sorry Shay, but you give ME the impression of being a very bitter woman.
    Perhaps a holiday on Tobago is what you need?[/QUOTE]

    Well trust me…let me tell you that nothing could be further than the truth…I’m by far not bitter. My accountant just yesterday as a matter of fact asked me how in the world I am handling myself so well when he himself have seen so many women drag their husbands through the mud in this situation. I told him life was too short and I didn’t want to be one of those women. All it ends up doing is hurting the kids anyway. I don’t hate my husband, he’s a good guy really and we as I mentioned before, we get along great. People around us can’t figure out why we don’t remain married because we do get along great.
    I’ve never watched this show nor do I consider myself this term. Cougar around here is considered 40 and above. I consider myself a puma! HAHAHA
    I’ve seen this same situation you described in Tobago in Buzios when I was there earlier this year except it was young Brazilian girls with these white rich, fat, bald, older men. I thought to myself the same thing. These men HAVE to know these women are not with them for thier looks but their money. Then I was informed that most of these women receive compensation for their company. I don’t agree with it with either gender or circumstances…it’s not my way but whatever.
    No thank you, I prefer to spend my holidays in Rio with my wonderful guy. He’s all I need and makes me very happy. :)
  • #173134

    patrice
    Member

    HEy Shay. I love your attitude!! I dont think you sound bitter and twisted at all and the fact that you can still be friends with your ex after he did what he did says a lot for your character. I Was 18 years loyaly married and like you guys we are still good friends.

    Captain Ron.. Why do you think it is a “Fact of Life” that men will sleep around? This is not a FACT of LIFE. Well maybe in some peoples lifes it is a fact but it is not necesarily the norm. Maybe its just that the people happily married and loyal are not on the forums telling everyone about there scandolous happy marriage :) Its like everything in life… we always hear about the bad things, the disasters because it makes for good news, so the impression is that it is the norm.
    My opinion is that the people who want to use excuses for cheating like its culture, or its a “fact of life” or its human nature and men are “programmed” to have as much variety as possible are obviously the ones doing the cheating and need to come up with viable reasons to convince themselves that its OK. Sooth there concience.
    So sorry to disagree but from a mans perspective……….. There is NO excuse for this and if you cheat on your wife or GF you deserve to be tossed out into the gutter.
  • #173191

    Anonymous

    cap ron: read the sexist things you write before getting all offended. Brasilian women won’t caress you head if they hear you say things like that, this is not America…

    DM222011-05-18 21:39:44

  • #173196

    celso
    Member

    [QUOTE=DM22]You dont dare to mention the “two brains” part but you do repeat constantly to your ogre of mens friends that mens think with their dicks. You truelly believe it. It’s half a brain you should consider, they’re lacking nerve cell. Thake Bill clinton. Just because a half wit is making tons of money it doesnt mean he’s got a high IQ, he can have good connections within the corrupt elite of society, just like the low IQ Bush…. at least this is what people (with a whole wit) say.
    I dont mean to insult you, if you are good to your partner of women than I think you deserve to be well considered.
    One more thing, do you think that I believe in every word that is written on here. Most likely that I dont, especially coming from strange nationals of the most lying coutnry on earth. Why should i believe that the Brasilian mindset says that going with prostitutes is not cheating when I know for a fact that for most locals it is, hence the secrecy of brothels and going with hookers (why no Brazilian men will admit it to women, they all say they never slept with a hooker haha I think that the ones who strongly enphasize that are the ones who did go haha). Why dont you tell me there are weapons of mass destruction in Libia for all that I care.
    [/QUOTE]
    Your posts are boring constant attacks against Bush and Clinton.. Fortunately nobody bothers to discuss Getulio Vargas and Lula. Two dictators without doubt. Dilma was dictated to her job. So relax and enjoy Brazil. Pay triple for Honda feel happy that over half the price is taxes for a government that does next to nothing for you. Pay 300 reais for a pair of Nikes. But if you are smart you travel abroad stuff you bags and avoid the abusive taxes. Yes and pay nearly seven dollars a gallon for gas in your airbagless deathtrap. Thank the Petrobras monopoly as you bend over and fill the tank.

  • #173199

    ClaudePeebles
    Participant

    [QUOTE=DM22]One more thing, do you think that I believe in every word that is written on here. Most likely that I dont, especially coming from strange nationals of the most lying coutnry on earth. [/QUOTE] Well we certainly have a hard time believing anything you say, so why bother posting? In terms of Brazil being better at something, they win hands down with corruption and lies. Have a nice day.

  • #173206

    alanbasset
    Member

    From what I learned from my experiences and from what I saw, there is everything in Brasil.
    Of course the notorious Player will have some on the side besides you, some are willing to pay, some are their Wife’s Dog, some should be nominated for Best Husband of the world AND somesome are even still (which was the most shocking thing I ever heard) Virgin and get cheated by their Girlfriends.
    While there are some guys who think prostitutes are like their paid slaves (we should never forget that that’s the most ancient business that still keeps running lol), I talked with some who wouldn’t even consider it (and I bet some get it without paying…)
    Hm, I have some Questions but there isn’t any Brasilero around here anymore, am I right?

  • #173484

    chrish
    Member

    [QUOTE=Nefertari]
    Hm, I have some Questions but there isn’t any Brasilero around here anymore, am I right?[/QUOTE]
    shoot.

  • #176064

    Ron
    Participant

    To DM 22. Surprise, surprise! It took the posting of a profile photo of yourself to reveal your sex and ? age. Not a 22 year old girl after all – then …………
    If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck and walks like a duck – it is probably a duck.
    Why did you label me an American? Try answering that without revealing something else about yourself.
    I endeavour to make my comments ‘tongue in cheek’ with an underlying element of truth. Not to demean or insult.
    Look forward to sharing a beer and a laugh one day.

  • #196968

    Coissupspam
    Member

    What is a “ball massage,” anyway?

  • #196975

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=jauburn]
    What is a “ball massage,” anyway?[/QUOTE]
    Exactly what you think it is

  • #197086

    Anonymous

    Who unearthed this dinosaur?
    Edit: HAhaha I remember this one. Stupid woman has to ask if it’s culturally acceptable to get screwed around on, as long as it’s a prostitute. This was a real page-turner, keep them coming!!
    TarkInBrazil2012-01-30 18:06:01

  • #197213

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    Give him a break, his wife went to the US for a 3 week vacation. Ball massage was the only option.

  • #197243

    Anonymous

    Well then I hope his wife also received a “clitoral massage” while she was in the US.
    I say “You wanna play….let’s play then!” LOLShay2012-01-31 07:10:30

  • #197257

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=Shay] Well then I hope his wife also received a “clitoral massage” while she was in the US.
    [/QUOTE]
    The ball massage was discussed in every graphic detail. Please explain what a “clitoral massage” is.

  • #197291

    Gilmour
    Member

    I sometimes wonder if some “chrifrudas” knowwhat’s going on and don’t say anything about it since they don’t have to do any work!!
    I still have doubts about one case: a married woman gave me a strong indication she was interested. Her husband travels a lot and I got the idea that he had other women in other cities. I think it’s mostly open game here. If the husband cheats, the wife is going to as well.
    ^^ in the above case, I didn’t do anything because I’m some little horndog anymore like I was when I was in my 20’s. Besides that case, I had some opportunities with other single/divorced women inviting me to their houses, knowing full-well that I’m married, but I never did anything. Seems like too much of a hassle nowadays; just something that could complicate my life for no good reason.
    spongebob2012-01-31 09:09:20

  • #197411

    Micklous
    Member

    [QUOTE=gringomike]Let me clarify. I would not seek the services while in a relationship. I would have the self respect and that of my girl not to do so. If, however, on my own and without a girlfriend/wife there is no problem. I am all for supporting the oldest profession. Unlike a relationship where there is a lot of gray and you are still paying, there is no gray area. You pay to play. As for not answering calls after a hook up? Well that’s just part of the game if you hit and run on a one night stand. Not my cup of tea, but purely legal in the rules of the “trying to get laid handbook”. [/QUOTE] well said

  • #197432

    Anonymous

    [QUOTE=spongebob]
    I sometimes wonder if some “chrifrudas” knowwhat’s going on and don’t say anything about it since they don’t have to do any work!! I still have doubts about one case: a married woman gave me a strong indication she was interested. Her husband travels a lot and I got the idea that he had other women in other cities. I think it’s mostly open game here. If the husband cheats, the wife is going to as well. ^^ in the above case, I didn’t do anything because I’m some little horndog anymore like I was when I was in my 20’s. Besides that case, I had some opportunities with other single/divorced women inviting me to their houses, knowing full-well that I’m married, but I never did anything. Seems like too much of a hassle nowadays; just something that could complicate my life for no good reason.
    [/QUOTE]
    HAHAHAHA. TOO MUCH OF A HASSLE!
    I don’t think cheating is ok in any circumstance, by definition. Then again, too much of a ‘hassle’?
    I bet it wasn’t too much of a hassle when you were in your 20s. Remember (FDR was president)?

  • #197492

    Gilmour
    Member

    expat, was it tempting? of course! Would most guys I know go ahead and do it? Probably so. All the Brazilian guys I know — if they are notmajor nerds — are real horndogs. I think it’s a latin thing. Also, most women I know are somewhat “dependent” financially on their husbands so like most things in Brazil, an affair with someone else is commonly brushed under the rug.
    I will ask my wife, but I don’t know of too many relationships that broke up here because the guy was cheating. I know about American relationships that didn’tbreak up over cheating when the women were dependent financially on their husbands.
    Hassle would be complicating my life: getting another woman pregnant, the subsequent fofocas, having to pay child support, etc.. I feel like it’s not worth it, even if my super-hot neighbor wanted something from me Big%20smile.
    If someone wants to cheat, the best thing is to be singleand be a playboy, go out with lotsa youngER girl like 18-26 and have fun. Why? Because women will never understand that men have a firewall between sex and emotions.
    Lastly expat, I think your answer was very kiss-a$$, almost like the kind of answer that you got out of your Sunday school lesson. There are too many variables to make a generalization like you did. I know of cases where marriages break up fast, and people are not divorced yet. What if a couple if living apart? What if a wife doesn’t want to “do her part”? What if a marriage is on the rocks. Your answer is too much of a generalization.
    spongebob2012-02-01 07:41:48

  • #197508

    Anonymous

    [QUOTE=sven] [QUOTE=Shay] Well then I hope his wife also received a “clitoral massage” while she was in the US.
    [/QUOTE]
    The ball massage was discussed in every graphic detail. Please explain what a “clitoral massage” is.[/QUOTE]
    I don’t think a detailed explanation is necessary. If it is, someone needs some sex ed…lol

  • #197511

    Anonymous

    [QUOTE=spongebob]
    Because women will never understand that men have a firewall between sex and emotions.
    [/QUOTE]
    And this is why trying to love and trust a man isn’t worth it in my opinion.
    I would hate to know that my guy isn’t cheating on me just because it would complicate his life and be a “hassle.”
    What better way to make your wife/gf feel like nothing more than a piece of *****.
    If that’s the way he would feel, then I would gladly step out of the picture so as not to “complicate” his life any further and he could have what he wanted. Shay2012-02-01 08:49:20

  • #197527

    Gilmour
    Member

    @Shay,
    Somehow Shay, I’m thinking that you and Expat are either the same person, or long-lost soul mates. Well, my wife is, in fact, a piece of a**, and much more. If she wasn’t, I probably wouldn’t be married to her now.
    If men didn’t view women as pieces of a**, then most women wouldn’t be worth marrying. What other “benefits” do women bring with them: nagging, spending too much money, shopaholics, mood swings, etc.. By denying this, you are denying the biological imperative.
    Be careful. If you are the jealous type, you can potentially cause you “man” to actually go out and cheat. It’s kinda like treating minorities as criminals: it’s a self-fulfilling prohecy. If you’re married to a Brazilian, he’s probably cheating on you already, or he’ll do it the first chance he gets. If you don’t like it, go back to where you came from.

  • #197533

    Anonymous

    [QUOTE=spongebob] @Shay, Somehow Shay, I’m thinking that you and Expat are either the same person, or long-lost soul mates. Well, my wife is, in fact, a piece of a**, and much more. If she wasn’t, I probably wouldn’t be married to her now. If men didn’t view women as pieces of a**, then most women wouldn’t be worth marrying. What other “benefits” do women bring with them: nagging, spending too much money, shopaholics, mood swings, etc.. By denying this, you are denying the biological imperative.Be careful. If you are the jealous type, you can potentially cause you “man” to actually go out and cheat. It’s kinda like treating minorities as criminals: it’s a self-fulfilling prohecy. If you’re married to a Brazilian, he’s probably cheating on you already, or he’ll do it the first chance he gets. If you don’t like it, go back to where you came from.
    [/QUOTE]
    @spongebob
    Expat and I are neither thank you.
    Since it seems you have a very “sexist” attitude towards women, I would love to hear what the “much more” is. Let’s see, could it be “cooking, doing your laundry, giving you some when you desire it, taking care of your children or future if this is so….” all forms of servitude towards you?
    Women don’t want to be viewed as a piece of *** just like men would not want to be viewed just a paycheck or child support, would you? And not all women do those things you listed, myself included so don’t say that if a woman says she does not “spend too much money, isn’t a shopaholic, etc” that she is denying the biological imperative. That is a gross generalization of women in general, and a bad one I might add.
    I made my comment based on what YOU generalized men as, not me.
    I’m not the jealous type, not married to a Brazilian either and have no intentions of going anywhere but thanks anyway.
    I thought this board was supposed to contain adults who could have intelligent discussions and agree to disagree? Seems if you don’t run with the mass opinion, you are told to take your toys and go home.

  • #197603

    Micklous
    Member

    [QUOTE=Shay] [QUOTE=spongebob] @Shay, Somehow Shay, I’m thinking that you and Expat are either the same person, or long-lost soul mates. Well, my wife is, in fact, a piece of a**, and much more. If she wasn’t, I probably wouldn’t be married to her now. If men didn’t view women as pieces of a**, then most women wouldn’t be worth marrying. What other “benefits” do women bring with them: nagging, spending too much money, shopaholics, mood swings, etc.. By denying this, you are denying the biological imperative.Be careful. If you are the jealous type, you can potentially cause you “man” to actually go out and cheat. It’s kinda like treating minorities as criminals: it’s a self-fulfilling prohecy. If you’re married to a Brazilian, he’s probably cheating on you already, or he’ll do it the first chance he gets. If you don’t like it, go back to where you came from.
    [/QUOTE]

    @spongebob

    Expat and I are neither thank you.

    Since it seems you have a very “sexist” attitude towards women, I would love to hear what the “much more” is. Let’s see, could it be “cooking, doing your laundry, giving you some when you desire it, taking care of your children or future if this is so….” all forms of servitude towards you?

    Women don’t want to be viewed as a piece of *** just like men would not want to be viewed just a paycheck or child support, would you? And not all women do those things you listed, myself included so don’t say that if a woman says she does not “spend too much money, isn’t a shopaholic, etc” that she is denying the biological imperative. That is a gross generalization of women in general, and a bad one I might add.

    I made my comment based on what YOU generalized men as, not me.

    I’m not the jealous type, not married to a Brazilian either and have no intentions of going anywhere but thanks anyway.

    I thought this board was supposed to contain adults who could have intelligent discussions and agree to disagree? Seems if you don’t run with the mass opinion, you are told to take your toys and go home. [/QUOTE] Yeah,I’ve noticed that to,especially when it comes to talk about women,it is a very male oriented forum with little room for discussion.But I also noticed rude comments against most new members who had complains about Brazil. I think we should have a GIRLS section in this forum or else make a new forum http://www.gringas.com. Watcha think? Anyways welcome to this forum.

  • #197607

    Gilmour
    Member

    Look, I’m not being sexist, I’m stating a biological FACT! I’m sorry if you feel offended. But stop acting like typical American girls and look at things for what they really are [in Brazil].
    Here are some answers to your questions:
    Do my laundry?yeah right! I do ALL of our laundry when the empregada isn’t here;
    Wash dishes?I pay an empregada, on the card, everything.
    Paycheck?I AM viewed as a paycheck, but I’m not offended by that. That’s just a fact of life. And my wife is one year older than me, so I’m not some 70 years old guy with a 21 year old woman.
    I exchanged some posts on here with an American or English lady in her 50s. As she said “Brazilian women want support fromtheir husband” whereas “American women want to supporttheir husbands.” I couldn’t agree more with what she said. This is Brazil. We aren’t in America/England/NZ/Canada/Ozz anymore!!!
    Go right ahead! Create another forum (your response to this was soooo American). I’m sure you 2-3 will be the only people posting! People have tried it before, but failed.

  • #197609

    Gilmour
    Member

    @Shay & Isa – you didn’t even pay attention when I said “my wife is a piece of a** AND A WHOLE LOT MORE. Before you criticise, please read everything.

  • #197623

    Anonymous

    [QUOTE=spongebob] Look, I’m not being sexist, I’m stating a biological FACT! I’m sorry if you feel offended. But stop acting like typical American girls and look at things for what they really are [in Brazil].Here are some answers to your questions:Do my laundry?yeah right! I do ALL of our laundry when the empregada isn’t here;Wash dishes?I pay an empregada, on the card, everything.Paycheck?I AM viewed as a paycheck, but I’m not offended by that. That’s just a fact of life. And my wife is one year older than me, so I’m not some 70 years old guy with a 21 year old woman.I exchanged some posts on here with an American or English lady in her 50s. As she said “Brazilian women want support fromtheir husband” whereas “American women want to supporttheir husbands.” I couldn’t agree more with what she said. This is Brazil. We aren’t in America/England/NZ/Canada/Ozz anymore!!!Go right ahead! Create another forum (your response to this was soooo American). I’m sure you 2-3 will be the only people posting! People have tried it before, but failed.
    [/QUOTE]
    @spongebob
    Your problem is that you think you know EVERY woman and you don’t. Just like I would never think that I know EVERY man because I don’t. Even based on my statement earlier which was YOUR opinion about your gender, I have met men who are NOT the norm, can be faithful and don’t think of their wife/gf as just a piece of ***. If that is your view, then you have every right to it but I’m here to tell you as an American woman that yes, it does offend me to have a label put on me when you don’t even KNOW me. But whatever…you wouldn’t be the first man to have a sexist attitude and you won’t be the last.
    I also know some very good Brazilian women who are not the norm for Brazilian women as well. They are beautiful, educated, strong and independent women who don’t need a man’s paycheck or a man for that fact. It seems you haven’t met any of these women though. It just wouldn’t be my style to sit back and not say that there are the exceptions to your “biological rule” out there if you just open your eyes a little bit, you may actually see them.
    As for your statement between Brazilian and American women and the support issue: I don’t want support FROM nor will I SUPPORT ANY MAN! It’s equal or nothing for me.
    Shay2012-02-01 16:01:38

  • #197633

    Gilmour
    Member

    @Shay
    I AMstereotyping Brazilian women. So what? I can do that because I WILL NOT find a woman in this city who does not need support $$$, in the range of 18 – 39, period. This is a 99,99999% certainty. I started posting here because I know women who “appear” to be independent — they are business owners or in the professional trades, but if you look very closely, their financial stability is usually based on their husbands. Brazil is already a brutal place to live, and Brazilians [women] love to spend money. That’s why usually their husbands are so important.
    As far as the guys go, I know that there are fewer guys cheating than women who need support here. I’ve met travelling sales guys – those guys are the worst! They travel all around nailing women in different cities. If they like that kind of thing, then good for them.
    You sound like you are in your late teens – early twenties. If you can hack it here long enough, you’ll see what I’m saying.

  • #197637

    Anonymous

    [QUOTE=spongebob] @ShayI AMstereotyping Brazilian women. So what? I can do that because I WILL NOT find a woman in this city who does not need support $$$, in the range of 18 – 39, period. This is a 99,99999% certainty. I started posting here because I know women who “appear” to be independent — they are business owners or in the professional trades, but if you look very closely, their financial stability is usually based on their husbands. Brazil is already a brutal place to live, and Brazilians [women] love to spend money. That’s why usually their husbands are so important.As far as the guys go, I know that there are fewer guys cheating than women who need support here. I’ve met travelling sales guys – those guys are the worst! They travel all around nailing women in different cities. If they like that kind of thing, then good for them.You sound like you are in your late teens – early twenties. If you can hack it here long enough, you’ll see what I’m saying.[/QUOTE]
    May I ask which city you live in that your perspective comes from? When I spoke earlier of these strong and independent women who I know, I am speaking of Rio. I would even agree with you that the more rural the area, the more likely your stereotype is to be true but the more metropolitan areas, you will definitely find completely financially independent women who have worked hard and are very proud of it.
    A friend of mine, his parents who are in their late 40’s are a good example of not the stereotype. In their 20’s she worked as a bank manager and made more than her husband did at the time. He wanted to open his own business and so while he worked on getting his business off the ground, SHE supported the family of five. Thankfully his business thrives and now he is the breadwinner of the family and she still works as well. They are happily married and do well for a family in high priced Rio.
    Cheating has always existed and always will as there are willing partners to do it with. One can make a choice to either get in the game or stay on the sidelines and avoid the heartache.
    Late teens, early twenties….HAHAHAHAHAHAHA….I’d LOVE it if that were true! But only if I could have the 20/20 hindsight that I do now.

  • #197715

    Ron
    Participant

    “I also know some very good Brazilian women who are not the norm for Brazilian women as well. They are beautiful, educated, strong and independent women who don’t need a man’s paycheck or a man for that fact.”
    So Shay, beautiful, educated, strong and independent are not the norm. So plain, uneducated, weak and dependent is how you see the majority of Brazilian women. Your words, via implied meaning.
    Finally you have said something I can agree with.

  • #197728

    Gilmour
    Member

    Actually, I think that Shay and Isa are just sitting here like jacarés in the amazon, waiting for prey to post here. When anyone posts anything that is not a kiss a** answer (similar to expat2233’s post), they attack!Seriously, I’ve never seen them interacting here on no other issue…. just my 2c.

  • #197732

    Anonymous

    Captain Ron, I wasn’t denying that these women exist, I was only stating that the gross over generalization that EVERY Brazilian woman is this stereotype is not justified.
    I would do the same for many other things as well if I feel it isn’t correct.
    Spongebob, you’re right, I don’t post on here often, my time is quite limited these days. I just happen to visit and saw the post on the issue and decided to respond with MY 2 cents as well. If you felt “attacked” by this simple discussion then I suggest you get a thicker skin. I can have a discussion with anyone about any topic and agree to disagree in the end.
    Honestly, for this board to mainly consist of men, it is WORSE than a board full of hormonal WOMEN when it comes to crying about “attacking” and “kiss a** answers* etc.

  • #197738

    Ron
    Participant

    Gringas.com? Good idea.

  • #197742

    Anonymous

    [QUOTE=Captain Ron] Gringas.com? Good idea.[/QUOTE]
    Nahhhh…that would give too much satisfaction. It’s much more fun to stay here…LOL

  • #197777

    Gilmour
    Member

    Shay = typical American woman, and why I FLED that place. Heck, I never got along with Americans very much anyway. To much nonsense comes out of America due to ideological reasons and nothing to do with practicality/reality. That’s why you got so many lonely women in America. They don’t want to “give in” on anything, so they settle for ZERO.
    I remember reading something a while back where American women got laws passed to make it harder for American MEN to get mail-order-brides. I really don’t give a ****, but I saw that as US women trying to “reduce” the competition. I thought this was underhanded and an abuse of laws.

  • #197793

    Anonymous

    Feminism …who needs it? In any case, because of economic changes women will soon be earning more than men, many are. Of course, women are now realizing that having a boss and working 8-7 every day is not as glamorous as they had thought…
    Brazilian women are, in most cases, still in the kitchen, both literally and figuratively. Those who are looking for relationships are happy to find a decent man, as so many Brazilian ‘men’ are really boys. They live with mommy and daddy and have a lot in common with teenagers.
    When I go shopping many of the cashiers say “wow, a man doing the shopping!” Kind of says it all.

  • #197796

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=spongebob] That’s why you got so many lonely women in America.
    [/QUOTE]
    Isn’t that why god created the cat?

  • #197799

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=expt2233]
    When I go shopping many of the cashiers say “wow, a man doing the shopping!” Kind of says it all.
    [/QUOTE]
    What still amazes me is when the hubby trots along with the wife to:
    1) complain she buys too much
    2) pay
    besides that, he does absolutely nothing. Doesn’t take the stuff off the cart and on to the register, doesn’t put the stuff in bags and does’t put the bags back in the cart.
    I always wonder why he doesn’t just stay at home and plad with his d**k.

  • #197861

    Micklous
    Member

    [QUOTE=spongebob]

    Go right ahead! Create another forum (your response to this was soooo American). I’m sure you 2-3 will be the only people posting! People have tried it before, but failed.
    [/QUOTE] I might [QUOTE=spongebob]@Shay & Isa – you didn’t even pay attention when I said “my wife is a piece of a** AND A WHOLE LOT MORE. Before you criticise, please read everything.
    [/QUOTE] Spongebob,nowhere did I mention your name,so why are you mentioning mine?If your wife is a piece of a** good for you,enjoy her!!! [QUOTE=spongebob]Actually, I think that Shay and Isa are just sitting here like jacarés in the amazon, waiting for prey to post here. When anyone posts anything that is not a kiss a** answer (similar to expat2233’s post), they attack!Seriously, I’ve never seen them interacting here on no other issue…. just my 2c.
    [/QUOTE] I never noticed any of Shay’s post in here untill now (probably cause she isn’t a major poster) so how could I interact with her?

  • #197868

    Micklous
    Member

    [QUOTE=Shay] [QUOTE=Captain Ron] Gringas.com? Good idea.[/QUOTE]

    Nahhhh…that would give too much satisfaction. It’s much more fun to stay here…LOL[/QUOTE] If you don’t wanna come,I’ll go alone.kkkk But it needs Brasil in the title too,just gringas.com is not really my thing.I’m not gonna expose the name for it,otherwise the boys/guys in here will steal my domain just too piss me off.Tongue

  • #197892

    Gilmour
    Member

    too late! gringas.com is taken, but you can get gringas.co !!

  • #197894

    Micklous
    Member

    [QUOTE=spongebob]too late! gringas.com is taken, but you can get gringas.co !! [/QUOTE] Liar!It’s up for sale,but like I said,gringas is not really what I want to call the forum.Besides,I’m not in a hurry to do this,so the site will only be up in some months.Untill then,bear with me Ying%20Yang

  • #197959

    Gilmour
    Member

    Why would I lie, you aggressive little troll? See for yourself:
    http://www.gringas.com/

  • #198099

    evogel
    Member

    I am an american man and I can vouche for sure that american ideology is screwed up. Why people get so wrapped up in money is beyond me….. but I guess I have always had it but I also have a God who provides for my every need because He loves me and in return I try to honor Him with my life.

    And yes God created men to be the head of the household. What does that mean? It means the man is supposed to lay down his life for his wife, but most men don;t even want to because the majority “not all” american women jsut liek to bash the ego and play power games. Again stereotypes are not good ….. but cultural differences are apparent.
    With that being said….. some american men are ok with the situation and deal with it….. they soldier on as the wife nags him day in and day out.
    Word of advice. You want to keep a man….. treat him like one.

    cobrakhan52012-02-03 14:43:02

  • #198101

    evogel
    Member

    You know I heard a story of a woman who was angry with her husband for not going to church, and when she went home she nagged him about it pretty often. But ya know if she would go hom right after church and sex him up nicely …. he would probably be more open to the church idea. Just saying….. nagging just won;t work

  • #198114

    CK, you seem to know well how to treat a man? Anything we should be aware of?

  • #198142

    Gilmour
    Member

    [QUOTE=BorisG]CK, you seem to know well how to treat a man? Anything we should be aware of?[/QUOTE]
    LOL. Cobra, you should probably ignore Boris. I think he’s at the age that he doesn’t have the same urges that he once had a long time ago. I agree with you, nagging sucks.

  • #198936

    evogel
    Member

    LOLWhy would you want to know if I was homosexual or not? You interested?LOL

    I don;t swing that way yo……..
    no problem Spongebob…..
    Yes nagging is the one thing I have never been able to tolerate….. unfortunately.

    cobrakhan52012-02-07 19:16:23

  • #199977

    Gringa..

    That’s not sexual culture shock .. That’s cheating in any language.. You were lied to and used..
    I hope in the last 4 years since you wrote this message that you dumped the guy and learned your lesson.
  • #13443
  • #231608

    missycrissy
    Member

    [QUOTE=gringa_1981]Good god…I have just experienced some serious sexual culture shock with my Brazilian boyfriend and I need reassurance that I am not crazy!!
    I’ve been in a steady relationship with my boyfriend for two years now. I am an American and sometimes I spend time in the US visiting family and friends. Today, in the heat of an argument, my boyfriend admitted to having gone to a “massage parlor” in Centro (Rio de Janeiro) and having had a “ball massage” and oral sex with a prostitute…wait…two prostitutes on two seperate occasions while I was out of town for 3 months (I was preparing for moving to a new country, selling all my things, and getting the legal documents ready for getting married).
    BUT WAIT… if this isn’t bad enough, in his mind, THIS ISN’T CHEATING, because prostitutes are not women, they are prostitutes!! And it was my fault for being out of town for too long. He doesn’t consider it cheating because he says that Carioca men find oral sex at massage parlors acceptable and outside the bounds of cheating. He’s thinks that I’m being prudish and that my definition of cheating doesn’t count cause it’s an American definition and I’m not in America…
    What the f*ck!!!????
    I’m I crazy to think that some woman giving oral sex to my boyfriend is a cheating? I clearly told him from the beginning that I didn’t believe in this kind of thing :(
    Any other gringas out there suffering with any similar situation?
    Is this really that culturally acceptable or is he just usting our cultural differences as an excuse to be a cheating a**hole??
    [/QUOTE]
    How could be so cruel and left your man for 3 months with no sex.
    It is all your fault.
    He is right, “massage” is not cheating.
    You should be grateful, that he did not find another girlfriend and did not let you down.
    You should reimburse him the expenses he had in the massage parlor

  • #231619

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=Grimm] You should reimburse him the expenses he had in the massage parlor[/QUOTE]

    made my day

  • #231634

    jaenicoll
    Member

    Can we make this thread a sticky? I just love ready the original post. It makes me laugh every time. Never fails….

  • #232148

    needhelp
    Member

  • #232183

    Marc Maserati
    Participant

    There are idiots and scumbags in every population. When I was looking for someone I weeded out all the poor matches within a week or 2, dated only 4 people and found someone I can love and trust for a lifetime. People who date “only Americans” or “only latinas” miss the point. You look for strength of character and integrity as these traits will last long after the heat of passions flame is quenched.
    -Marc

  • #232186

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    [QUOTE=gringa_1981] My boyfriend and apparently many other carioca men don’t believe it’s cheating (if it’s from a pro at one of these spas).¬† Therein lies the cultural difference.
    [/QUOTE]
    Of course it isn’t, a ball massage is a massage, just like a neck rub or a back massage. No worries, it’s just a business transaction

  • #232187

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    Too bad we never knew what the OP did about the ball massage..

  • #232205

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    The wife (fiancee) was out of the country, so professional help was needed

  • #232286

    Gilmour
    Member

    [QUOTE=sven]The wife (fiancee) was out of the country, so professional help was needed [/QUOTE]
    Sven, I think you’ll never win this one. Two things I’ve learned about women:
    1) If they can sense financial stability, they get pregnant. That means if the guy has a good job, and she’s on the pill. Whoops.. forget it. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. There’s a real-life Fatal Attraction playing out in my neighborhood: the guy (rich professional) was dating a 30’something. They broke up. Her life is a wreck and then some. She stalks him, and the new girlfriend, etc.. I actually DO fear for the new girlfriend.
    2) Women apply a very broad brush to cheating. This is what I think we’ll never be able to change. I don’t really blame them though. Brasil has to have the 2nd highest STD stats outside of Africa. Imagine a guy goes out, sleeps with a R$ 10 hooker, uses protection, and still gets genital warts, which he gives to his wife. It’s not her fault, but she has to live with his transgression.
    The only way I think you can convince a woman that a ball massageis not cheating is showing the parallels to you doing it yourself. Really, there’s not a whole lotta difference, even though I’ve only had the free variety.

  • #238965

    Tony
    Participant

    It is none of my business, whether he is a bastard or not. Nonetheless it reads like you need some reassuring from this forum.
    As Tiger Woods once said, when playing your shots, play by percentages. Do not go for broke if you can’t pull a shot. Having said that , here are some about face facts you should factor n making yout decision:
    1. Prostitution is readily available, affordable in Rio. Not as frowned upon as in the good ole USA. No published John’s lists, cop busts, scandalls. Short and sweet, tentamption looms around the corner all times.
    2. For better or worse, the use of prostitutes in Rio, or Brazil as the whole, or further, having an active sexual life, is not as frowned upon as you may have back home. From a male persepective. Unless of course your social mates live under a stricter covenant ( i.e. Born Again Christian).
    3. Carioca’s social and cultural mores, as estereotipe , takes sensuality and sensuality from a diferent perspective than te stereotypical míd west boy. Both may have the same desires, only the carioca reacts diferently from the boy from Muncie Indiana.
    4. I would suggest you pay a prostitute to bid you time só that you can get an insight on their perspective in dealing with those carioca loverboys. Let them speak their mind.
    5. Not all Cariocas are whoremongers, throught.
    6. A good old Negro used to tell me ( and i always pais heed to his advice ). Do not judge people from what they tell you who they are. Judge them by their actions. And this Negroe as seen it all ( Jim Crow, good and bad people, heck he even met Malcolm X in person!
    7. Be fair, be friendly but be firm! Act on your standards. Have a tongue n cheek with Mom. Above all, you are your own woman !
    8. Brazilian women are not taking anymore. More menos are getting cleaned on divorce settlements over marital infidelity.
    The final decision is yours, Young Lady.

  • #238971

    Anonymous

    Tony! Holy toledo you sound like one hellava guy!

  • #241611

    Gilmour
    Member

    [QUOTE=Rebroker@sampa] It is none of my business, whether he is a bastard or not. Nonetheless it reads like you need some reassuring from this forum.
    As Tiger Woods once said, when playing your shots, play by percentages. Do not go for broke if you can’t pull a shot. Having said that , here are some about face facts you should factor n making yout decision:
    1. Prostitution is readily available, affordable in Rio. Not as frowned upon as in the good ole USA. No published John’s lists, cop busts, scandalls. Short and sweet, tentamption looms around the corner all times.
    2. For better or worse, the use of prostitutes in Rio, or Brazil as the whole, or further, having an active sexual life, is not as frowned upon as you may have back home. From a male persepective. Unless of course your social mates live under a stricter covenant ( i.e. Born Again Christian).
    3. Carioca’s social and cultural mores, as estereotipe , takes sensuality and sensuality from a diferent perspective than te stereotypical míd west boy. Both may have the same desires, only the carioca reacts diferently from the boy from Muncie Indiana.
    4. I would suggest you pay a prostitute to bid you time só that you can get an insight on their perspective in dealing with those carioca loverboys. Let them speak their mind.
    5. Not all Cariocas are whoremongers, throught.
    6. A good old Negro used to tell me ( and i always pais heed to his advice ). Do not judge people from what they tell you who they are. Judge them by their actions. And this Negroe as seen it all ( Jim Crow, good and bad people, heck he even met Malcolm X in person!
    7. Be fair, be friendly but be firm! Act on your standards. Have a tongue n cheek with Mom. Above all, you are your own woman !
    8. Brazilian women are not taking anymore. More menos are getting cleaned on divorce settlements over marital infidelity.
    The final decision is yours, Young Lady.
    [/QUOTE]
    1. sexually transmitted diseases. There’re no mandatory screens. How many prostitutes are drug users? How many STDs can you get even if you use protection? Not worth it for me. I don’t care if it’s one of those R$ 20 places in the big cities.
    2. Your English sounds funny “esterotypes”? Sounds like you are a Brazilian who used google translator to translate someone else’s post. The “menos” was funny too, I think adding the “o” was a typo-error. I bet you meant to say “mens”.
    3. I’m not pegando no seu pé: yes, there is a difference between the cultures as to what is acceptable and what is not.

  • #241644

    Anonymous

    Wow, we seem to have among us those who witnessed history (third hand). [QUOTE=Rebroker@sampa] A good old Negro used to tell me ……And this Negroe as seen it all ( Jim Crow, good and bad people, heck he even met Malcolm X in person! [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=GreatBallsoFire] My father met MLK back in the sixties. [/QUOTE] Anyone’s uncle play football with Paul Robson? Buy Rosa Parks a cup of coffee? Do a tuneup on James Chaney’s station wagon? Room with Jim Zwerg at college? and btw, a lot of people walking around Boston in the day met Ella Collins little brother.

  • #241659

    jaenicoll
    Member

    Rosa Parks died in 2005 so probably any of us on this forum could have bought her a cup of coffee. Just saying…….nesne22013-03-19 08:19:58

  • #241677

    Tony
    Participant

    I don’t need a damn google translator to get it done. So thread lightly !!
    Blame on my rotten iPad who keeps on switching from one language to other a will.

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