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Making friends and building a supportive community

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  • #259112

    frnkjfrsn
    Member

    Hello!

    I’ve been living in SP for 2 months now. I’m finding it increasingly difficult to make friends because I don’t know any Portuguese. I know that there are gringoes out here, but I don’t know where! I’ve been having a very hard time here because of my lack of friends and having a support-base here, so I’ve actually considered going back to the states without renewing my visa.
    I really want to make an effort meeting people and making friends to enjoy my time here. In the beginning, all of my focus was on going to interviews and getting a job. Now that I have that set, I know I need to do this if I want to enjoy my time here. Otherwise, I’ll continue to be miserable =
    Do you guys have any suggestions?
  • #259114

    Hanging out with other gringos won’t help your PO. Try making friends with some of your new co-workers.
    If you truly think meeting other gringos will alleviate your misery, find an ‘Irish’ pub. Always a few there, but if not, you can at least have a pint or two to help lessen your misery….
    Boa sorte!

  • #259116

    Wellington
    Member

    You came here to meet gringos? Seriously, if you are the type of personality that can’t stray too far from friends and a support base, a sudden relocation to a completely different part of the world may not have been the best choice for you. My advice is go local! Drag yourself over to your nearest p√ɬ©-sujo and sit there with a bottle of Brahma and watch the game or Globo novela on the flickering TV; there will always be someone who will want to talk to you.

  • #259121

    frnkjfrsn
    Member

    I didn’t just come here to meet gringos…if anything, my boyfriend and friends are Brazilians. But I recognize that we have a huge limit with communicating (minus my boyfriend who speaks English) and there are things that I need to express and talk about with someone who’s also foreign and possibly is going through the same experience as me.

  • #259123

    lynchem
    Member

    It’s called “Learn the language that the people use to communicate”….
    Wow I should write a book and mentor Tony Robbins.. Leblon2013-11-19 17:39:59

  • #259127

    Anonymous

    there was just a thing posted about a meetup in SP, maybe that might help you to meet up with some other folks.

  • #259129

    hoganti
    Member

    did people miss the part where the op said they’d only been here 2 months and is looking for folks who have gone through a similar experience? Going to a bar and watching a football match and chatting up locals won’t really help with what the op wants.

    But, def don’t use a group of gringoes as a crutch and insulate yourself…that’s no good either. Find a good mix of people and if you are lucky some other Brazzers who have lived abroad could be a huge help.
  • #259130

    Deleted User
    Moderator

    [QUOTE=Leblon]It’s called “Learn the language that the people use to communicate”….
    Wow I should write a book and mentor Tony Robbins.. [/QUOTE]

    Unfailingly, the inept Leblon continues to display the exquisite sensitivityof a turnip when confronted with a plea from his fellows. Here again, exampledin his comment, is yet another occasion where he fails to appreciate theessence of a problem and instead relies upon his own Tony Robbins tutorialhandbook for life’s incompetents. < ?: prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

    The OP, who doesn’t speak Portuguese, has been in Brazil for just acouple of months during which time her conversations have seemingly been restrictedto her English speaking Brazilian boyfriend. And now, estranged from family andfriends along with familiar language and culture, she feels the need of supportfrom a fellow gringo who should understand this radical change; support thatmay reassure that she is not alone in feeling a little lost during this phaseof the experience. After all, what better therapy than a couple of gringostalking about the collection of oddities that is Brazil.

  • #259131

    [QUOTE=3casas]there was just a thing posted about a meetup in SP, maybe that might help you to meet up with some other folks. [/QUOTE]
    Aaaand, the invitation was issued by none other than the forum’s illustrious SteelRat!!!
    @OP: This is indeed your chance to hook up with other gringos! DON’T MISS IT!
    http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19826&PID=229118&title=gringoescom-sp-night-market-joint-meetup-nov-21#229118
    Gringo.Floripa2013-11-19 19:25:06

  • #259141

    frnkjfrsn
    Member

    Yes thank you guys for understanding my situation here. It’s not that I’m closed off to learning the language. If anything, I am trying to from my boyfriend and his friends, which is why I still make the effort to hang out with them even though everything they say is in Portuguese and I don’t understand anything unless my boyfriend translates.

    I feel like I have come to accept the culture here in terms of being open and interacting with Brazilians. My plea for a “support group” isn’t so that I can seclude myself with only this group and try to create a haven where the consequence may lead to solely having them whilst “forgetting” the culture and life of Brazil. On the contrary, as Esprit and hpeak13 have said, in the midst of living here, I need to communicate and share with those who have the same sentiments as I do about living abroad and the worries and insecurities that come with it…also the joys and adventures of it.
    Thank you guys for your helpful advice.
  • #259145

    lynchem
    Member

    [QUOTE=Esprit][QUOTE=Leblon]It’s called “Learn the language that the people use to communicate”….
    Wow I should write a book and mentor Tony Robbins.. [/QUOTE]

    Unfailingly, the inept Leblon continues to display the exquisite sensitivityof a turnip when confronted with a plea from his fellows. Here again, exampledin his comment, is yet another occasion where he fails to appreciate theessence of a problem and instead relies upon his own Tony Robbins tutorialhandbook for life’s incompetents.

    The OP, who doesn’t speak Portuguese, has been in Brazil for just acouple of months during which time her conversations have seemingly been restrictedto her English speaking Brazilian boyfriend. And now, estranged from family andfriends along with familiar language and culture, she feels the need of supportfrom a fellow gringo who should understand this radical change; support thatmay reassure that she is not alone in feeling a little lost during this phaseof the experience. After all, what better therapy than a couple of gringostalking about the collection of oddities that is Brazil.

    [/QUOTE]

    The buzzard guru strikes again… Clap
    Forgive me, but aren’t you more than aware of the abundant sensitivity going around Brazil? I mean come on… Dead
    This place is not for the weak or the soft. We hear it week in and week out all the constant complaining of how hard life in Brazil makes it for livability. It’s the exact same thing I see my brother do, whine and whine until he gets what he wants.
    We are privileged coming from our first world origins. There is no forgiveness in Brazil, and there damn sure isn’t any ‘aww, there there’.
    You have jump right into the life here and make it happen for yourself. I am sorry if that sounds harsh and as Esprit claims “insensitive”, however it’s the truth. Even for myself, money can’t buy me a permanent residence or all the answers.
    The point is we all have our problems and you of all the seemingly intelligent people should know that.
    Unless that is you’re just playing out the ‘helpless little girl fantasy’ and trolling for attention again… I thought you gave up making new accounts?
    Anyway.. It is what it is, I’m sorry OP, but you need to learn portuguese – come hell or high water…
  • #259146

    lynchem
    Member

    [QUOTE=triptomordor]Yes thank you guys for understanding my situation here. It’s not that I’m closed off to learning the language. If anything, I am trying to from my boyfriend and his friends, which is why I still make the effort to hang out with them even though everything they say is in Portuguese and I don’t understand anything unless my boyfriend translates.

    I feel like I have come to accept the culture here in terms of being open and interacting with Brazilians. My plea for a “support group” isn’t so that I can seclude myself with only this group and try to create a haven where the consequence may lead to solely having them whilst “forgetting” the culture and life of Brazil. On the contrary, as Esprit and hpeak13 have said, in the midst of living here, I need to communicate and share with those who have the same sentiments as I do about living abroad and the worries and insecurities that come with it…also the joys and adventures of it.
    Thank you guys for your helpful advice.

    [/QUOTE]

    You have a flow to your writing that is strikingly similar to one of my favorite writers.
    You know who you are… Wink.
    If I’m mistaken,
    Then you need to stop being insecure and start learning!
    Download duolingo, it’s fun and fast – highly recommended! Maybe get into an intensive course, that’s usually the fastest and most effective method for learning.
    Also, keep your chin up and just seek and you shall find your way here. If you’re into any form of partying then SP is your place. Not to mention the vast array of cultural affects they have to offer! Specifically museums, parks, art, restaurants, and social life, that’s the one thing I miss about it!
  • #259158

    Bella 777
    Member

    Look up International Newcomers Club: www.newcomers-sp.com.br
    There are several expat groups listed here on this site: http://www.gringoes.com/subcategoria.asp?ID_categoria=2&ID_subcategoria=96

  • #259184

    Kathy2012
    Participant

    [QUOTE=Gringo.Floripa]
    Hanging out with other gringos won’t help your PO. Try making friends with some of your new co-workers.
    If you truly think meeting other gringos will alleviate your misery, find an ‘Irish’ pub. Always a few there, but if not, you can at least have a pint or two to help lessen your misery….[/QUOTE]

    Ugh.
    Stay out of O’Malley’s. I don’t know if the food is Irish, but the service is definitely. The wait staff was too busy whining about the upcoming vestibular to take my order. We hung around for 20 minutes and walked out. Hey morons, when I’m ready to drop R$150 on lunch, come take my drink order.
    The owner of this place should be ashamed of himself.
  • #259195

    815
    Member

    Brazilians feel shame?

  • #259199

    lynchem
    Member

    [QUOTE=Paulistano USA]Brazilians feel shame? [/QUOTE]

    And I was called insensitive. The naivety of people, gringos specifically, when it comes to brazilian culture is astounding. I cannot understand how often people complain. Yet I find myself complaining about them LOLWink
  • #259203

    Anonymous

    [QUOTE=Paulistano USA]Brazilians feel shame? [/QUOTE]only at the end of every World Cup for the last few decades….Cry

  • #259208

    815
    Member

    [QUOTE=3casas][QUOTE=Paulistano USA]Brazilians feel shame? [/QUOTE]only at the end of every World Cup for the last few decades….Cry[/QUOTE]

    Definitely not for offering sh*te products, sh*te services, living in a dirty sh*te hole cities and acting like savages a lot of the time.
  • #259211

    Anonymous

    well if the politicians aren’t ashamed of what THEY do….

  • #259522

    monzon
    Member

    The politicians are just a mirror image of the common people or vice versa.

  • #259633

    eminha
    Member

    triptomordor, I’m gonna send you a PM….

  • #264308

    aeraide
    Member

    Hello!

    I am new in Sao Paulo also and looking to make friends, and am all for creating a supportive community.
  • #268242

    ling6540071
    Member

    I live in the United States and want to meet someone their a lady I am fifty five yrs. Old. What can I do to meet a lady their?

  • #268247

    kevin owen
    Participant

    [QUOTE=reggieman] I live in the United States and want to meet someone their a lady I am fifty five yrs. Old. What can I do to meet a lady their?[/QUOTE]
    Paulistano I think posted something about the end of this site being nigh.
    With this being one of the few posts today I think, sadly, he may well be right.

  • #268253

    agri2001
    Participant

    What happened to Paulistino?

  • #268258

    Finrudd
    Participant

    The worst thing is that the FB site, while giving instant gratification, seems to be plagued with absolute asses – some of our esteemed friends from here excluded of course. I still check in here daily, but I also read the FB group page, mostly just to laugh at the petty fight picking that goes on there – far worse than it ever was here.

    It seems to go something like this:
    1. Read an innocuous post.
    2. Take great offence.
    3. Shower poster with a tirade of abuse and flounce off.
    4. Return the next day to post something about big butt women or beans.
    5. Repeat ad nauseam.
    Now, I am all for banter and some light hearted p*ss taking, but the abuse there gets quite personal it seems.
  • #268272

    BossaNova2012
    Participant

    Boa noite Reggieman, tudo bem?
    If you would like to meet women in Brasil, one option could be the internet, such as the free website POF.com, or POF.com.br, or BrazilCupid.com or BrasilCupido.com.br (paid website).
    POF stands for Plenty of Fish, as per the adage, there are plenty of fish in the sea. In Brasil, there are plenty of lovely “dusky maidens.”
    Boa sorte!
    Smile

  • #268280

    Finrudd
    Participant

    Reggieman, if you haven’t managed to meet any women in the USA in 50+ years, what makes you think Brazil is going to be any easier?

    Only kidding, just giving a Facebook type reply, of which I noticed this one today:
    BXXXX XXXXX YUR PROFLE LOOKS LIKE U A sh*t TALKING LAZY AMERICAN HOMEY BOY BUM. GET A JOB AND WORK, DONT COME MY c**tRY AND BE AMERICANO VEGABOND WHICH U ARE.
    I can’t really comment on meeting women here in Brazil, as I am married, and met my wife in the UK. However, I was reading just last week that Rio has more women than eligible men, so perhaps that is a good starting point.
  • #268282

    sven van ‘t Veer
    Participant

    You could enter the gringoes.com FB group. Lots of big butt women looking for a gringo man there.

  • #268287

    lynchem
    Member

    Try closing your computer and using your communication skills….

  • #268289

    Deleted User
    Moderator

    [QUOTE=Leblon]Try closing your computer and using your communication skills….[/QUOTE]

    Noteveryone can overcome their shyness by grabbing a megaphone, jumping on theroof of their trailer and shouting, “Hey ladies, mature swinging dick availablehere!”

  • #268291

    lynchem
    Member

    [QUOTE=Esprit][QUOTE=Leblon]Try closing your computer and using your communication skills….[/QUOTE]

    Noteveryone can overcome their shyness by grabbing a megaphone, jumping on theroof of their trailer and shouting, “Hey ladies, mature swinging dick availablehere!”

    [/QUOTE]

    I never understood why most men have a bigger vagad than women when it comes to face the dreadful “no”. I mean if that is the most severe consequence, imagine the other inadequacies these dudes face..
  • #268549

    cohesco
    Member

    Sign me up. But only if we dont talk about job and money because not all of us are expats here with the big check and the company car. Im in sp. Oh and forget about fancy and sophisticated places to meet up and leave 100 reales for the night. If you are that kind of gringo here then good luck with your corporate career.

  • #269207

    oweng
    Member

    [QUOTE=Gui.sp] Sign me up. But only if we dont talk about job and money because not all of us are expats here with the big check and the company car. Im in sp. Oh and forget about fancy and sophisticated places to meet up and leave 100 reales for the night. If you are that kind of gringo here then good luck with your corporate career.
    [/QUOTE]
    I know, I know. I want to have both. That’s why I plan to run for a political office in Brazil.

  • #271475

    Anonymous

    Hello

    I would like to practice my english.

    Is there anyone who would like to be pen pal?
  • #271491

    Anonymous

    These guys are being so harsh. Ignore the. Send me a message and we can meetup. I am in SP and have lots of friends brazilian and Gringos who i can introduce you too
    Tell me about yourself

  • #271511

    Anonymous

    Hello Lanamoscovith

    How are u ?
    Thanks for answering back my message.
    Where are u from?
    I wish u a very nice day 🙂
  • #272168

    Tony
    Participant

    Some dude in San Fran had the same feeling. He then created a posting board called Craiglist?
    Now he is gazillionaire. Craig Newmarket, I think was his name, did I get this right?
    I am bilingual, btw.
    Get a squeeze, you know, female friend.

  • #26825

    frnkjfrsn
    Member

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