January 30, 2010 at 4:13 am #262691
It seems to me like more Brazilian women suffer from BPD or its just me meeting crazy girls? Anyone with such experience? Dont tell me its a culture thing….
January 30, 2010 at 5:12 am #262692
[QUOTE=virtalist2000]It seems to me like more Brazilian women suffer from BPD or its just me meeting crazy girls? Anyone with such experience? Dont tell me its a culture thing….
[/QUOTE]Overlooking the ‘boder,’ what is your definition of a ‘personality disorder?’
January 30, 2010 at 7:52 am #262707
Does Border line personality disorder mean they almost have a personality but don’t? If that is the case then I would agree!
January 30, 2010 at 8:43 am #262714
January 30, 2010 at 10:02 am #262720
based on the “symptoms”, I think I used to know a brazilian with BPD :)))
January 31, 2010 at 5:58 am #262753
Anyone with BPD experience?
February 2, 2010 at 3:56 pm #262856
Hi, Been wondering for a long time if my soon to be ex has a personality disorder. I know you were asking about women but thought I’d share my experience with you about Brazilian husband. I have experience in working with people with BPD but it wasn’t what I thought my partner had for a long time. So, is it cultural? Good question. I wouldn’t describe my ex as true BPD – more like narcisstic. Briefly (was a pretty rough time) I don’t know what you describe as crazy but reasons for me questioning a PD – explosive temper, envious, poor coping skills for any type of stress, very manipulative and constantly changing mind, oh and moderately paranoid. Please do not think I am classing this as typical brazilian behaviour!! Just thought it was very interesting someone else had these thoughts. Also, could be because he is from wealthy side and was just very very spoiled. Oh, and takes no responsibility for ANYTHING. Getting a divorce ain’t easy. I would doubt that how US/UK would class a PD could be the same across cultures though. And PD is a serious illness would take a psychiatrist to diagnose over a long period. Whatever it is, I can’t live like that anymore and it did not start out like that!
February 3, 2010 at 6:49 pm #262945
You are very right on Virtualist. But really very very many women have traits of BPD. It is behind almost all divorce dramas which crush men financially, and 70% of divorces are filed by women.The conservative prevalence estimates (in the USA) are 5%-10%. But that easily spreads the tail into the 20% with significant BPD traits. In Brazil there may be more. Generally in latin countries there may be more of that as it seems to be some of the fuel behind the fire and feminine allure of Latin women in general.
Symptoms are exhilarating passionate love very quickly, clinging, suicidal threats should you leave her, jealousy and sex like in Islamic heaven. Then when she has your balls in some financial ways, after marriage (if you were stupid enough to do communhão de bens) and certainly after having your child (and the ticket to child support extortion) or after 3 years (whichever comes first) the hell begins.
Rapid mood swings, cold as ice, hate. The slogan is “I hate you, don’t leave me” (the title of a book on the subject.) Crazy making discussion behavior, no way to talk through problems, you are the fault of everything. Since they are clever, they will stun you with their witty replies. You end up wondering if you are completely wrong.
If you are a weakish co-dependent man, you will be devoured and spit out at the other end. These women will cheat on you, and tend to ruin you emotionally and financially, and with the assistance of the courts gut you and continue to tyrannize you via the child support extortion scheme. I have talked with a guy who played in a band and his ex who left him devastated would come into the club with some dude and smooch and almost f*ck the dude on the dance floor right in front of the poor guys nose. And of course, hoovering: after she destroyed your soul and your finances, she might call you once she is through with another lover …
Beware of the early signs and be aware of disrespectful behavior early. Know your boundaries. Get out if you can’t bear it any more. If you do stay you need to know how to lead her. Some can do it.
And I am not even sure if BPD is real as a disorder or if it is not just a continuum of normal female behavior. You can actually see that in many venues, even just discussing about moral issues with a lot of women. There is this strange ego-centric perspective which tends to see self (or women as a group) as victim and blames you (or men in general) for everything, while lying and being totally irresponsible or covering for the lies and irresponsibility of other women. This is not special to Brazil, it may in fact be less severe with Brazilian women.
My legendary GF had many traits of BPD above discussed, but I still see her with a positive light (despite having drawn clear lines in the sand and stronger for it.) Because of this, I believe that a lot has to do how you lead such a woman. But you can’t be some subdued nice guy who worships her. If you do, you will fail. And if you don’t you will ask yourself seriously if it is worth it.
Also, Virtualist, any man who is through or in the middle of a relationship with a BPD woman must ask himself: why are you doing it to yourself? Instead of obsessing about the condition, you may need to look at yourself to get a grip.
Here is an excellent resource: http://gettinbetter.com/anycost.htmland branch out from there. Good luck! Be safe!
February 3, 2010 at 9:20 pm #262961
Squid, don’t look now but your hurt is showing; it’s aprocess.
January 31, 2014 at 4:13 am #27136
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