Brasilian girls can be very expert on making you feel special, that you are the only one etc.

You need to wake up man you sound like a little boy with a wild crush. Of course this women is excited about you, she lives in poverty and you coming along gives her the chance to get out of it. Her family will be ecstatic about this aswell especially as you will be also raising her child with her.

The reason she is interested in you is because she thinks you will provide a better standard of living. And from a purely animalistic view this is natural. However she does not want you because of you. You could be any gringo, it doesn't matter.

You have known her for a few days you have only seen her absolute best side. Maybe you shouldn't try to be the knight in shining armor.

That's exactly right. I have to ask myself these questions. But I don't know what the answer is. And I don't know if those pre-conceived notions are true. I am not looking for "young bodies", but there is also nothing wrong about a "Pretty Girl" if she has a really good heart. I am an intellectual inside-out. But what I feel I have been lacking is not intellectual stimulation. I am longing for emotional connection, physical closeness, and fun, like listening to music together, dancing together. I'm not looking for exchangeable partners. Can one really get bored in one relationship of just making each other feel good? I never felt that this was getting too much and got boring to me.

I have seen a bit of life. I am not into her for rescuing her but because I think she is a gem for me.  But I do not know how I could get behind this gringo issue. I could be pessimistic, it won't ever work, or can be a dreamer and strike lucky. I am a scientist and engineer, I am not looking for 100% certainty, but I am looking for evidence, not just preconceived opinions.

Your general advice and opinions are appreciated, but I really would like to hear some more evidence, anecdotal evidence, shared stories of how these relationships have worked out or have failed.

How many people here are Northerners having married a Brazilian? Was it in same social class / educational level or across classes? How did it turn out? How many years has it been? Is it going strong? What crises did you face with each other and how did you manage? If yours has failed, what is your theory why? What are your lessons learned from success or failure?

I really would like to hear first hand real-life experience. Thanks so much!


Edited by Squiddie - 28 June 2010 at 11:27

Originally posted by andrewfroboy There is a much bigger cultural gap between the Brazilian middle class and the Brazilian poor than between the US/European middle class and the Brazilian middle class. I would recommend having conversations with her (i.e. Skype) in such a way that you aren't just getting her young sex appeal and she isn't just getting your money to see if there is anything to the relationship.

Absolutely. We talk a lot through MSN. Really asking some hard questions. She is asking me hard questions. She was trying to dump me several times because she did not want to destroy my life. It was very real, and she was very very sad about this. I was the one who chased after her to let us give it a chance. So she's not just hunting me. She seems very genuine and definitely not on the "easy girl tries to run multiple parallel affairs to pick the best one" type of person, and her child is explained just like any gringo single mother.

She never ever talks about money, never talks about material things she wants or cares about, and never asked me to do anything for her. This may still all play a role, but she is very romantic about just us, not about any thing else.


Edited by Squiddie - 28 June 2010 at 12:07

Copy and paste your original question into a folder somewhere so that in the future when people ask, "How did your life get ruined?", you'll have a convenient way to answer.

You've already admitted that you know that you're a romantic fool, and you've already expressed doubts about the circumstances of your two second relationship with a woman whom you know nothing about. If you decide to be foolish and do something dramatic with your life by ignoring your own sense of reason then enjoy the ride and go into it knowing that you get what you deserve.