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Gringolatino
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Quote Gringolatino Replybullet Topic: Am I cynical or is my gut feel right?
    Posted: 21 June 2007 at 22:56
Hi all, good site, very interesting. I am completely mystified after meeting a great Brazilian girl in Natal. Everything seems fine in one sense but not in many others, my gut feel tells me something isn't right...there seems to be a lot of inconsistencies in what she tells me. Maybe I am too cynical but there seems to be a sublte take take take. It is all well done and nicely handled, but instances like change doesn't come back when I give her money to pay for things, or items get borrowed but never come back. I sense a toughness more than normal, almost like us guys are commodities. At times I could almost think like she is or has been a working girl but I can't work out where the line is drawn. Maybe I am not used to things or maybe my gut feel is right. I just sense when I am out of sight, there's likely to be another one in the frame, unless I keep delivering. But when I don't, then she has options. Am I paranoic?
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tron
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Quote tron Replybullet Posted: 21 June 2007 at 23:15
I'd say trust your gut...
 
If she's hiding things (inconsistencies), thats not good.  If she is taking money without discussion or consideration, thats not good.  Regardless of wether she was/is a working girl, these are not good qualities in a partner.
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supermary
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Quote supermary Replybullet Posted: 22 June 2007 at 00:29
agree with tron. go with ur guts, for sure.
~Mary*Anne~
Make a positive change in the world and then Take It Global.
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DUNGA
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Quote DUNGA Replybullet Posted: 22 June 2007 at 01:22
Originally posted by Gringolatino

Am I paranoic?

No.
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Frankie
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Quote Frankie Replybullet Posted: 22 June 2007 at 02:35
yeah trust your gut.
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vinnyvendetti
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Quote vinnyvendetti Replybullet Posted: 22 June 2007 at 04:04
Yep, go with your gut, but if she's REALLY worth it, then you can always double-check it.

I don't know your circumstances, so I can't say, but there may be a simple explanation for why she's keeping your change (is it R$.50 change due of R$ 50,00 change due?? There's a big difference.)

I vote - trust your gut - but double-check with caution.

Just curious, what are some of the inconsistencies??

By the way, anytime they ask for money, RUN!
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CWCAIR
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Quote CWCAIR Replybullet Posted: 22 June 2007 at 06:39
Never go with Guts because the very moment you go with your Gut feeling its usually when its most clouded and has the most insecurity inside it.
 
I would say crack a joke with her the next time your change doesnt come back by saying  something like, with all the change that never gets back  you must have saved enough money for us to Buy a big house now.
 
If she is innocent then she would laugh at it and then maybe you can start a conversation, if however as your  gut feeling is saying then In cases she would most like go all defensive, then again you start a conversation about how you feel that she is seeing you as a means of convinience and tell her how you feel.
 
But personally I would say you are just a little too insecure, Trust me I once was in your shoes and sometimes I feel  that I am still in those days, where you feel that your girl friend/wife is cheating on you or is doing something that just isnt correct,  But I found that out the hard way and now am Single.
 
I was sooo insecure, that I couldnt handle it, it wasnt jealousy at all just me being insecure about my self and I really feel your the same but now am over it, I have a moto in  Life if you let your self down then hang your self.
 
I think she just might be a girl who might well be poor or working class and its sometimes nice to be treated like a princess as for the change look at it as if she is secretly saving up to buy you a present if that is the case then its great if its not then who cares.
 
The last way to check is to  follow her around but the moment you do that then please dont bother carrying the relationship on  if she is innocent,  because trust is paramount and without it then there is no good relationships.
 
By the way have you meet her family or asked about them,  she may well have siblings or maybe a kid who knows and the change is basically to buy them sweets and little gifts.
 
I WOULD NOT GO WITH YOUR GUT FEELING, I SAY TALK TO HER ITS SIMPLE AND IT WILL CLEAR THE MATTER EASIER AND MORE AMICABLE.
 
If you love her then you dont want to hurt her or be hurt, so talk and tell her you feel a little paranoid and just  want reasurance,  go out for a nice meal and then a walk and few drinks and  chat.
 
Any ways buddy best of luck and let us know what you decide.
 
CWC
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London Lad
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Quote London Lad Replybullet Posted: 22 June 2007 at 07:37

This thread is really funny and I’m interested in why everyone (except CWCAIR) says go with your gut when they know nothing about you at all.

 

 

But it does show that the stereo-type of Brazilian women being money grabbers has sunk in with a lot of people here.

You can't find love without trust



Edited by London Lad - 22 June 2007 at 07:40
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Gringolatino
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Quote Gringolatino Replybullet Posted: 22 June 2007 at 08:37
Inconsistencies like how she found her way to Natal (she is not from there), where and what she was doing before then. Some things might be lost in translation, but her recent history doesn't seem to be consistent. Statements about previous boyfriends, like there haven't been many and most seem foreign. One major concern is that her mobile ringer is never turned on, I've never heard her phone ring, but she checks it for calls or texts, always discretly. All the vibes I get are is that at one time or other she was "working" and although she now has a job, I sense that she is a part timer so to speak. But there again I don't know as I have no experience in Brazil. Make sense?
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Gringolatino
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Quote Gringolatino Replybullet Posted: 22 June 2007 at 08:39
Inconsistencies like how she found her way to Natal (she is not from there), where and what she was doing before then. Some things might be lost in translation, but her recent history doesn't seem to be consistent. Statements about previous boyfriends, like there haven't been many and most seem foreign. One major concern is that her mobile ringer is never turned on, I've never heard her phone ring, but she checks it for calls or texts, always discretly. All the vibes I get are is that at one time or other she was "working" and although she now has a job, I sense that she is a part timer so to speak. But there again I don't know as I have no experience in Brazil. Make sense?
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