Originally posted by Ferguson21 Welcome to Brazil

Vitalist, where are you now with this? What do you actually want?

Originally posted by Vitalist2000 I'm usually cool type. But not like cool cool with ladies. I'm just trying to change. ... I know how jealous she can get even if its a thing of the past. Her so called ex-husband calls atleast almost everyday and it doesn't bother me. But I do not have rights to do anything close to that. In real sense - I'm not the love type guy. My emotions are mostly attached to my money and my kids.

I don't know where you are from, but you need to do some serious self-inspection. I think you are setting yourself up for failure, and the cost for you is more than money. I hate it when people speculate bad things about my GF and rush to conclusion, but you see the issues, you mention them, but you seem to not connect the dots.

Under one theory, she is just using you. You are in a triangle. If the guy calls her every day, she is still attached to him. You say you're cool but not cool and you stay away from love. But love is too good to stay away from. On the other hand, I see you protect yourself, because were you to jump in all the way I am sure you'd get hurt. After you paid up, he might come back and they will both walk over your dignity.

If her "te amo" sounds bored, it probably is. You are financing her life. The thing is, at the risk of some over-simplification -- I have read that latinas are usually pretty transparent, and I have experienced that. She is probably not conscious about whether or not she is really serious with you. But you can see the signs that there are questions. A bored routine "te amo" is a good sign. You chemistry in bed is another. Her behavior about her ex is yet another. The question is for you: what do you get out from this? Do you have any signs that there is a sincere layer that you can access by teasing it out whilst confronting the crap, and do you have a plan, or not?

The jealousy game she is playing is a mind-game powerfully capable of obscuring the truth to both herself and you. What you want is to be madly in love and you should be jealous and her. If you are not jealous, she will instinctively not like that. If she loves you, she will want you to be jealous. If she gives you teasers showing her continued involvement with her ex and you do not respond jealous, you probably lose respect in her eyes every time. Whatever love she may have had is going down the tubes with it.

Her jealousy for you is explained enough by (a) being a ritual and (b) she being protective of her source of money. And her wanting a kid from you because you don't seem to be that interested in her, it is her plan-b mode of survival. This is why she has 2 already.

Observe yourself next time your eyes rest on that other beauty for more than 5 seconds and ask yourself: who would you prefer all things considered? Do you want, desire, really get turned on by the one you have, or would you like to try out some other things in life? If the latter is true, break up with her, I think you have enough warning signs. Next time her ex calls and you observe how she is still keeping him in her emotional triangle, do a high or low drama exit, pack your things, leave some money on the table, and go forever.

BTW: check out my 2 threads about União Estavel and Alimentos over on the Getting Married section. You are definitely at risk. Congratulations for taking steps of living your life more intently by asking your original question. Now take the next step, and get clear what *you* really want. Then take the consequences.

Edited by Squiddie - 27 May 2012 at 14:07

Hit the reset button..... where did you meet this woman?

Originally posted by GreatBallsoFire Originally posted by hpeak13 Bob: Life is tough in Brazil Do you honestly think it is harder here than other places? I think it is just, "life". not harder or easier Life is universal independent of local, yet the massive hoards of poor people with Dilma and the PT taxing much, stealing most, sharing a little, makes me think that perhaps life in Brazil is a bit better than most parts of Africa, better than most of Argentina, Venezuela and Cuba.

there are extremes on both ends sure, just some people make a big deal of "how hard it is to survive in brazil" as a gringo like it's some hard to attain thing.

Yes, life is hard in Brazil if you think that you can teach English to make a living and enjoy more than a rice and bean life.

this is what I am talking about. If you run a good business you will succeed. The type of business doesn't matter. whether it is a bar, teaching english or shining shoes, if you work hard and know what you are doing you can def do well. this idea that there is no way to be successful teaching is ridiculous. the thought that you will just show up and make tons of money right off the bat is ridiculous too, but thinking that way about any business is also the same.