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| Getting Married | |
 Gringoes.com : Brazil : Getting Married |
 Topic: advice on marriage |
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joegringo
Newbie 
Joined: 05 August 2011 Online Status: Offline Posts: 33 |
   Posted: 15 February 2012 at 09:23 |
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LOL, Horrible!! Time to turn around and go home.
Could you imagine someone jumping into something so blindly, not discussing previous relationships, plans for coexisting. People aren't really this ridiculous, are they?? |
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WENGER
Senior Member 
Joined: 02 February 2012 Online Status: Offline Posts: 497 |
Posted: 15 February 2012 at 09:24 |
No stop signs, speedin' limit Hey Satan! Paid my dues Highway to hell |
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IrishNatal
Senior Member
Joined: 07 June 2011 Location: Brazil Online Status: Offline Posts: 337 |
Posted: 15 February 2012 at 09:56 |
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Knew this would happen! I go to sleep and wake up to page 3 of this topic lol. A poor wee Irish lad being torn apart! With GOOD advice in most cases. To the OP a lot of what is said here comes from real experience in brazil.
To simplify it, wee Mary from Ballygobackwards is a very tame animal when compared to Maria passaporte from the city of god! Tread careful! |
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Esprit
Gringoes.com Guru 
Joined: 28 January 2010 Location: Brazil Online Status: Offline Posts: 2369 |
Posted: 15 February 2012 at 10:52 |
Aah, the sweet ephemeral madness of being ‘In love.’ “She is the love of my life…my destiny.” Oh really? Whisper to me how many times have you been in love during your short life such that you can make valid comparisons? A young and obviously naïve Irish lad, a Catholic no doubt with limited life experience, goes on line and somehow ‘accidently’ comes across a Brazilian woman trawling the net so that she may find salvation in the arms of a gringo. Now what was it that Jesus said while nailed to the cross? “Forgive them father for they know not what they do.” It must have been an exciting shock to find such a warm, responsive woman with whom he had everything in common. This demure and fawning female would have been a sharp contrast to the cunning and worldly colleens of the Emerald Isle. Calm down lad and listen to yourself; you desperately need to get laid. Brazil is a different and alien planet that could suck you in and blow you out in bubbles. |
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Esprit
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tamte
Senior Member
Joined: 20 March 2011 Location: Brazil Online Status: Offline Posts: 342 |
Posted: 15 February 2012 at 13:03 |
O.N.L.I.N.E
 Sounds like the lottery thing...Pls, Come on, do you buy a car online?
You need to test drive first. And that test drive includes her whole family alltogether at least 6 months (that much time you can spend here with tourist visa and it's extension). If you still think she is the virgin angel you met online, you'd give a try
 And you have enough money to support them all (that's what her family expects, even she is telling otherwise). And this will be the major hurdle, even if you 2 have 100% sync. and can manage all the issues together. The family will always be there lurking, somebody gets sick, dies, marries, borns, they expect you to pay. If you can get your GF off the family to a significant distance you'll be ok, if only she can handle it.
After a decade of preaching and hammering my wifes family we are pretty ok, she was able to absorb my view of life (You need to have your own independent life!). She already had distance and was indepent when I met her, but still the family was a "heavy organization" behind.
Maybe it has helped also that she has been abroad with me 8 years.
They don't ask money anymore, as I say to them if you dont't work you don't get anything, you are worthless scum to get even gifts. You can talk straigh to them
 My wife once told me that they thought I'm stealing the money somewhere (like all the well doing people in Brazil do
 ) so that's why I should give it to them also I told my wilfe, if that's the case they can suck it and I don't want to see them ever again. Edited by tamte - 15 February 2012 at 13:09 |
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Twirly
Senior Member
Joined: 09 September 2008 Location: Brazil Online Status: Offline Posts: 1512 |
Posted: 15 February 2012 at 13:07 |
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^^Maybe you should look up what test drive refers to in Brazil
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nikkij12185
Senior Member
Joined: 10 March 2009 Location: Brazil Online Status: Offline Posts: 1725 |
Posted: 15 February 2012 at 17:10 |
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@regs try to register for classes in Portuguese, make your own friends (not just hers) and see if you could be happy here and live here independently of your relationship with her.
You have a couple of things to figure out: 1) If you really want to spend the rest of your life (or a good part of it) living with this girl (living with is different than dating, which is different than just talking on skype) 2) If you want to spend your life living with her IN BRAZIL 3) If she would be willing to live with you elsewhere, if number 2 isn't a great option for you. Come as a tourist for a few months and spend a semester as a students (stay for a year total) before actually tying the knot. Work on doing things that will make you happy and reflect well on your CV, if things don't work out and you were to go home. Wenger is kind of on the money about being careful about making things all about her, especially at first (but not for the reasons he states). If it is all about her to start she will either feel smothered and go crazy or actually enjoy it, get accustomed to it and start to resent you when you decide that you actually need to do things for yourself (like hang out with friends, work, etc.) Try to start things on as equal terms as possible, even though you are moving to her country. Make sure you have all of your affairs in order at home and have enough money to support your stay, and always leave an exit plan, just in case. |
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deanwatts88
Senior Member
Joined: 16 September 2010 Location: Brazil Online Status: Offline Posts: 212 |
Posted: 20 February 2012 at 19:48 |
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I see another 30odd page novel coming up!!!!
My advice.... Mate internet is NOT real life... Been there done that and can speak from experience! The more time you spend flirting on the internet with "the love of your life" the bigger the fantacy becomes and the harder you will fall!! Not trying to be nasty at all here and I know you dont want to hear anything except the advice you have asked for but be carefull!! Internet relationships can work in any country but also be warned.. Apart from the obvious danger of her being fake, false or just a plain lier (extreamly high chance she is one or all of the above) Brasilian girls are damn hard work!!!! Come here without money or a high paying job then I dont like your chances for a happy future. Sorry dude but you need a wake up call. |
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PosterBoy
Newbie
Joined: 28 February 2012 Location: Ireland Online Status: Offline Posts: 10 |
Posted: 28 February 2012 at 08:18 |
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Reg
Where are you in Ireland? There are plenty of Brazilians here, you can learn the language from and get advice from. Brazilian women are somewhat feisty, you'll get walked over being like a little puppy dog with them. You've got to be strong. |
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