Gringoes.com: American dating a Brazilian guy--HELP!!

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lizza
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Joined: 16 November 2011
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Posts: 57

Posted: 22 December 2011 at 21:44

p.s. I feel like for the most part people on this site tend to think everything is impossible, every Gringa trying to go to Brazil is stupid, and that everyone should be doubted. I understand that caution is necessary and not everyone can be trusted. On the other hand, be a little bit positive, have a little faith in people, and don't discourage people from following their dreams or embarking on an adventure. I know I was insecure and unsure, looking for advice when I posted this, but since then I have had many conversations, done lots of research, and have had a lot of positive developments on planning my Brazil trip. Obviously I don't know how this trip is going to turn out and I'm a young person taking a risk on many levels...but you know what, thats just fine, and I will be just fine.

That said, thanks for all of the advice, it has all helped me in some way! Anyone reading this interested in a Brazilian guy or going to Brazil, don't get discouraged and don't let people scare you. Everything is possible and if you want it bad enough, you can make it happen. I am lucky to have a great Brazilian guy in my life and I am so optimistic about my future.

If you guys want to keep posting about this, go for it! But I think I know what I am doing and I am done here. Thanks again for the advice!!

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toolio
Senior Member

Joined: 05 July 2008
Location: Brazil
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1015

Posted: 23 December 2011 at 07:01

Originally posted by lizza

p.s. I feel like for the most part people on this site tend to think everything is impossible, every Gringa trying to go to Brazil is stupid, and that everyone should be doubted. I understand that caution is necessary and not everyone can be trusted. On the other hand, be a little bit positive, have a little faith in people, and don't discourage people from following their dreams or embarking on an adventure. I know I was insecure and unsure, looking for advice when I posted this, but since then I have had many conversations, done lots of research, and have had a lot of positive developments on planning my Brazil trip. Obviously I don't know how this trip is going to turn out and I'm a young person taking a risk on many levels...but you know what, thats just fine, and I will be just fine.

That said, thanks for all of the advice, it has all helped me in some way! Anyone reading this interested in a Brazilian guy or going to Brazil, don't get discouraged and don't let people scare you. Everything is possible and if you want it bad enough, you can make it happen. I am lucky to have a great Brazilian guy in my life and I am so optimistic about my future.

If you guys want to keep posting about this, go for it! But I think I know what I am doing and I am done here. Thanks again for the advice!!

I don't need to be right; I just don't want to be wrong.

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GreatBallsoFire
Gringoes.com Guru

Joined: 27 October 2009
Online Status: Online
Posts: 2395

Posted: 23 December 2011 at 10:33

Originally posted by toolio

I'm sure most hope things work out for you. Give love a chance. Most of us have learned from experience that you need savings and an exit plan just in case things don't work out.

Never tell anyone about your savings. Family members will always have a story as to why they need your money. Tell them you have no money.

Brazil is much tougher than you can imagine for a gringa not fluent in portuguese. Even when you learn the language it is still a difficult place.

Your plan of going there to test the waters with a tourist visa sounds good to me. Pleas share with us how it goes.

Simia quam similis, turpissimus bestia nobis. Oi amigo, pode trazer a saideira?

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toolio
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Joined: 05 July 2008
Location: Brazil
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1015

Posted: 23 December 2011 at 10:41

Originally posted by GreatBallsoFire

Brazil is much tougher than you can imagine for a gringa not fluent in portuguese. Even when you learn the language it is still a difficult place.

She speaks almost fluent Portuguese, as she stated in her original post. Yet people keep insisting she does not. Odd.

I'm sure she'll be just fine. She's smart, thoughtful, and is at least taking the time to think seriously about this. Lots of us, including me, come to Brazil as a result of relationships and do very well.

I don't need to be right; I just don't want to be wrong.

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lizza
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Joined: 16 November 2011
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 57

Posted: 23 December 2011 at 21:24

Yeah I'm not quite sure how these people think I keep in touch with my basically non-english speaking Brazilian boyfriend if my Portuguese isn't fairly decent. So P.S. I SPEAK PORTUGUESE WELL!!!!! just to clear that one up.

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Gringodude
Senior Member

Joined: 06 January 2009
Location: Cape Verde
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1971

Posted: 23 December 2011 at 21:35

Keeping the BrazilianLifestyle

"Have a great day everyone" - Ray
"You know who you are, now go and reflect!" - Esprit

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BorisG
Senior Member

Joined: 26 July 2006
Location: Brazil
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1735

Posted: 23 December 2011 at 21:46

She is baaaaaaack

Women are so predictable

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Shay
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Joined: 19 July 2010
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 90

Posted: 24 December 2011 at 18:13

Originally posted by lizza

I try to be a very open person. Monogamy was something created by religion and society, but as much as I would love for it not to affect me, it does. On the other hand, I'm pretty liberal with relationships as far as the long distance situation is concerned. I don't think a monogamous relationship makes a whole lot of sense for either of us, realistically. We may love each other, but we're still in our 20's (I"m in my very early 20's). I'm trying not to put too much pressure on the relationship while we're apart because I don't see it doing too much good. I think once we're back together, if we still feel the same, things will be that much better for having had a relaxed relationship.

BUT---who knows? I'm not an expert on any of this...

For me, even though I agree with the origins of monogamy and like you I wish it didn't affect me, but it does as well. I'm a very monogamous person. Once I am committed, I am 300% committed! After having been married for 15 years and had an ex husband cheat on me, now I could care less if I ever marry again. Marriage is more of a legality for financial/property reasons as it has been proven over and over that people just don't respect any spiritual aspect to it at all.

But I will say that one other thing that I think about are STD's or worse. I'm a little paranoid about this. And we all know in Brazil how sex is like the number two obsession right after soccer. LOL

As far as everything else, you are young! Go for it and enjoy the ride using common sense along the way. Worst case scenario as others have said, things don't work out, you come back home with a book full of adventures and stories to tell your friends and eventually your children. LOL

Please keep those of us who want to know, how it is going. I'll be waiting to hear :)

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BorisG
Senior Member

Joined: 26 July 2006
Location: Brazil
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1735

Posted: 24 December 2011 at 18:39

Hmmmm.... Actually, it looks like sex and football are tied in Brazil

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lizza
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Joined: 16 November 2011
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 57

Posted: 26 December 2011 at 03:34

I will keep you posted :) I think 5 months of a long distance "dont ask, don't tell" policy has served us well!! we are still madly in love, ready to wait a few more months and so excited to see where life takes us!! I will post how it all turns out...should be interesting for all of us!!! Wish me lots of luck and love!!! talk to you soon xoxo

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Topic: American dating a Brazilian guy--HELP!!
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