Gringoes.com : Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama http://www.gringoes.com/forum This is an XML content feed of; Gringoes.com : Romance : Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama Copyright (c) 2006 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Fri, 24 May 2013 11:44:23 +0000 Tue, 03 Jul 2012 17:49:50 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 8.05a 360 www.gringoes.com/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=14873 Gringoes.com http://www.gringoes.com/forum/Title_image http://www.gringoes.com/forum Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : well some school offer 45... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=184226#184226 Author: frank4000
Subject: 14873
Posted: 03 July 2012 at 17:49

well some school offer 45 reais per hour but that is for in business training.  If you get in 20-30 hours per week you would doing great. Possibilities of 5400 per month after a year to year and a half not bad plus any other opportunities you might get from connections.
 
 
]]> Tue, 03 Jul 2012 17:49:50 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=184226#184226 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : when I was in BH I saw rates between... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=183952#183952 Author: hpeak13
Subject: 14873
Posted: 29 June 2012 at 18:49

when I was in BH I saw rates between r12 (only once) up to r30 only once as well.

I hadn't seen some of those sites before, thanks for sharing. All in all, I agree that 3K shouldn't be hard to make teaching, but not working solely at a school. ]]> Fri, 29 Jun 2012 18:49:05 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=183952#183952 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Originally posted by hpeak13not... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=183948#183948 Author: HiItsBrian
Subject: 14873
Posted: 29 June 2012 at 18:35

Originally posted by hpeak13

not that I disagree with you, but where are you getting that number from?

Dave's ESL Cafe, esljobs.com, seriousteachers.com, esljobslist (I think that's what it is).  Hell, the bigger online schools are paying US$13 (Carrot English).  GlobalVCC is paying US$14-$15 depending on experience.

Classroom teaching definitely shouldn't be paying less.  Brazil's lax attitude about people working on tourist visas gives them a steady stream of exploitable labor they can use up and throw out and get new every year, so it's not like they care.
]]> Fri, 29 Jun 2012 18:35:09 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=183948#183948 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Originally posted by HiItsBrian Originally... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=183892#183892 Author: hpeak13
Subject: 14873
Posted: 29 June 2012 at 11:56

Originally posted by HiItsBrian


Originally posted by Esprit

Originally posted by HiItsBrian

I dunno guys, I take 30 an hour...


<p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" =msonormal=""><span =st=""><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman','serif'; FONT-SIZE: 12pt" lang="EN-US">Sounds like something a seasoned hooker might say outside a military base. Tongue<!--?:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /--><o:p></o:p></span></span>

You probably know more than I do about prostitutes, but I know that the international wage for native speaking English teachers with a degree and a TEFL certificate is US$15/hour.


not that I disagree with you, but where are you getting that number from?]]> Fri, 29 Jun 2012 11:56:16 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=183892#183892 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Originally posted by Esprit Originally... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=183880#183880 Author: HiItsBrian
Subject: 14873
Posted: 29 June 2012 at 10:59

Originally posted by Esprit

Originally posted by HiItsBrian

I dunno guys, I take 30 an hour...

Sounds like something a seasoned hooker might say outside a military base. Tongue


You probably know more than I do about prostitutes, but I know that the international wage for native speaking English teachers with a degree and a TEFL certificate is US$15/hour.
]]> Fri, 29 Jun 2012 10:59:08 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=183880#183880 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Originally posted by HiItsBrianI... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=183835#183835 Author: Esprit
Subject: 14873
Posted: 28 June 2012 at 18:42

Originally posted by HiItsBrian

I dunno guys, I take 30 an hour...

Sounds like something a seasoned hooker might say outside a military base. Tongue

]]> Thu, 28 Jun 2012 18:42:56 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=183835#183835 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Originally posted by spongebobHiItsBrian,... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=183830#183830 Author: HiItsBrian
Subject: 14873
Posted: 28 June 2012 at 18:06

Originally posted by spongebob

HiItsBrian, are you also taking out old "coroas" on dates as well? That kind of thing in the interior of MG is impossible, even at the rates dictated by the sindicato (R$ 20/hour).

I dunno guys, I take 30 an hour.  I guess it helps that I'm actually a teacher, and not like..  an accountant, :P
]]> Thu, 28 Jun 2012 18:06:43 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=183830#183830 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Nothing wrong with pegar uma coroa... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=183798#183798 Author: tbird
Subject: 14873
Posted: 28 June 2012 at 12:08

Nothing wrong with pegar uma coroa every now and then. ]]> Thu, 28 Jun 2012 12:08:50 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=183798#183798 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : HiItsBrian, are you also taking... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=183766#183766 Author: spongebob
Subject: 14873
Posted: 28 June 2012 at 07:35

HiItsBrian, are you also taking out old "coroas" on dates as well? That kind of thing in the interior of MG is impossible, even at the rates dictated by the sindicato (R$ 20/hour).


]]> Thu, 28 Jun 2012 07:35:10 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=183766#183766 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Wow. Times have changed. I made... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=183674#183674 Author: tbird
Subject: 14873
Posted: 27 June 2012 at 11:42

Wow. Times have changed. I made less than half of that when I tought English in Rio 13 years ago. What a rat race that was.

Edited by tbird - 27 June 2012 at 11:43]]> Wed, 27 Jun 2012 11:42:22 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=183674#183674 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Originally posted by GreatBallsoFireYes,... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=183666#183666 Author: HiItsBrian
Subject: 14873
Posted: 27 June 2012 at 10:57

Originally posted by GreatBallsoFire

Yes, life is hard in Brazil if you think that you can teach English to make a living and enjoy more than a rice and bean life.

You're a pretty terrible teacher if you're not catching at least R$3000 a month working 25 hours a week.  My wife's salary as a nurse doesn't top out at much more than that.

I don't think you're really in a position to comment on other people's ability to make a living teaching, since you obviously can't handle it, considering you only make enough to eat rice and beans.  Perhaps you work for a public school. LOL
]]> Wed, 27 Jun 2012 10:57:14 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=183666#183666 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Yes, life is hard in Brazil if... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=182280#182280 Author: hpeak13
Subject: 14873
Posted: 05 June 2012 at 19:39

Yes, life is hard in Brazil if you think that you can teach English to make a living and enjoy more than a rice and bean life.

this is what I am talking about. If you run a good business you will succeed. The type of business doesn't matter. whether it is a bar, teaching english or shining shoes, if you work hard and know what you are doing you can def do well. this idea that there is no way to be successful teaching is ridiculous. the thought that you will just show up and make tons of money right off the bat is ridiculous too, but thinking that way about any business is also the same. ]]> Tue, 05 Jun 2012 19:39:17 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=182280#182280 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Originally posted by hpeak13 Originally... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=182278#182278 Author: GreatBallsoFire
Subject: 14873
Posted: 05 June 2012 at 19:10

Originally posted by hpeak13

Originally posted by GreatBallsoFire

Originally posted by hpeak13

Bob: Life is tough in Brazil Do you honestly think it is harder here than other places? I think it is just, "life". not harder or easier


Life is universal independent of local, yet the massive hoards of poor people with Dilma and the PT taxing much, stealing most, sharing a little, makes me think that perhaps life in Brazil is a bit better than most parts of Africa, better than most of Argentina, Venezuela and Cuba.Wink


there are extremes on both ends sure, just some people make a big deal of "how hard it is to survive in brazil" as a gringo like it's some hard to attain thing.
Yes, life is hard in Brazil if you think that you can teach English to make a living and enjoy more than a rice and bean life. On the other hand, if you have savings and income from abroad, it is much easier although one must have a spirit for adventure, and the stubborness of a burro not to allow the minor slings and arrows of daily life in a former Portuguese colony to drive you nuts.LOL  Find a hammock, eat a mango, drink some coconut water, watch the giant hummingbirds, eat some rice and beans, and start anew...

Edited by GreatBallsoFire - 05 June 2012 at 19:12]]> Tue, 05 Jun 2012 19:10:14 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=182278#182278 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Originally posted by GreatBallsoFire Originally... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=182277#182277 Author: hpeak13
Subject: 14873
Posted: 05 June 2012 at 18:50

Originally posted by GreatBallsoFire

Originally posted by hpeak13

Bob: Life is tough in Brazil Do you honestly think it is harder here than other places? I think it is just, "life". not harder or easier


Life is universal independent of local, yet the massive hoards of poor people with Dilma and the PT taxing much, stealing most, sharing a little, makes me think that perhaps life in Brazil is a bit better than most parts of Africa, better than most of Argentina, Venezuela and Cuba.Wink


there are extremes on both ends sure, just some people make a big deal of "how hard it is to survive in brazil" as a gringo like it's some hard to attain thing.]]> Tue, 05 Jun 2012 18:50:30 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=182277#182277 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Originally posted by hpeak13Bob:... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=182275#182275 Author: GreatBallsoFire
Subject: 14873
Posted: 05 June 2012 at 18:13

Originally posted by hpeak13

Bob:
Life is tough in Brazil

Do you honestly think it is harder here than other places? I think it is just, "life". not harder or easier
Life is universal independent of local, yet the massive hoards of poor people with Dilma and the PT taxing much, stealing most, sharing a little, makes me think that perhaps life in Brazil is a bit better than most parts of Africa, better than most of Argentina, Venezuela and Cuba.Wink]]> Tue, 05 Jun 2012 18:13:08 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=182275#182275 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Hit the reset button........ http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=182271#182271 Author: cobrakhan5
Subject: 14873
Posted: 05 June 2012 at 17:46

Hit the reset button..... where did you meet this woman?]]> Tue, 05 Jun 2012 17:46:18 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=182271#182271 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Vitalist2000. Get out asap. simple... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=181576#181576 Author: frank4000
Subject: 14873
Posted: 27 May 2012 at 14:07

Vitalist2000. Get out asap. simple]]> Sun, 27 May 2012 14:07:50 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=181576#181576 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Vitalist, where are you now with... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=181575#181575 Author: Squiddie
Subject: 14873
Posted: 27 May 2012 at 14:03

Vitalist, where are you now with this? What do you actually want?

Originally posted by Vitalist2000


I'm usually cool type. But not like cool cool with ladies. I'm just trying to change. ...

I know how jealous she can get even if its a thing of the past. Her so called ex-husband calls atleast almost everyday and it doesn't bother me. But I do not have rights to do anything close to that.

In real sense - I'm not the love type guy. My emotions are mostly attached to my money and my kids.

I don't know where you are from, but you need to do some serious self-inspection. I think you are setting yourself up for failure, and the cost for you is more than money. I hate it when people speculate bad things about my GF and rush to conclusion, but you see the issues, you mention them, but you seem to not connect the dots.

Under one theory, she is just using you. You are in a triangle. If the guy calls her every day, she is still attached to him. You say you're cool but not cool and you stay away from love. But love is too good to stay away from. On the other hand, I see you protect yourself, because were you to jump in all the way I am sure you'd get hurt. After you paid up, he might come back and they will both walk over your dignity.

If her "te amo" sounds bored, it probably is. You are financing her life. The thing is, at the risk of some over-simplification -- I have read that latinas are usually pretty transparent, and I have experienced that. She is probably not conscious about whether or not she is really serious with you. But you can see the signs that there are questions. A bored routine "te amo" is a good sign. You chemistry in bed is another. Her behavior about her ex is yet another. The question is for you: what do you get out from this? Do you have any signs that there is a sincere layer that you can access by teasing it out whilst confronting the crap, and do you have a plan, or not?

The jealousy game she is playing is a mind-game powerfully capable of obscuring the truth to both herself and you. What you want is to be madly in love and you should be jealous and her. If you are not jealous, she will instinctively not like that. If she loves you, she will want you to be jealous. If she gives you teasers showing her continued involvement with her ex and you do not respond jealous, you probably lose respect in her eyes every time. Whatever love she may have had is going down the tubes with it.

Her jealousy for you is explained enough by (a) being a ritual and (b) she being protective of her source of money. And her wanting a kid from you because you don't seem to be that interested in her, it is her plan-b mode of survival. This is why she has 2 already.

Observe yourself next time your eyes rest on that other beauty for more than 5 seconds and ask yourself: who would you prefer all things considered? Do you want, desire, really get turned on by the one you have, or would you like to try out some other things in life? If the latter is true, break up with her, I think you have enough warning signs. Next time her ex calls and you observe how she is still keeping him in her emotional triangle, do a high or low drama exit, pack your things, leave some money on the table, and go forever.

BTW: check out my 2 threads about União Estavel and Alimentos over on the Getting Married section. You are definitely at risk. Congratulations for taking steps of living your life more intently by asking your original question. Now take the next step, and get clear what *you* really want. Then take the consequences.

Edited by Squiddie - 27 May 2012 at 14:07]]> Sun, 27 May 2012 14:03:00 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=181575#181575 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Originally posted by scottyh I... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=179394#179394 Author: Amsterdam
Subject: 14873
Posted: 04 May 2012 at 00:54

Originally posted by scottyh

I blame the novela!
 
All they talk about is money and how to screw people over in those novelas, jeez they piss me off. Ouch
 
 
]]> Fri, 04 May 2012 00:54:45 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=179394#179394 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Originally posted by Ferguson21Welcome... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=179393#179393 Author: Amsterdam
Subject: 14873
Posted: 04 May 2012 at 00:52

Originally posted by Ferguson21

Welcome to Brazil
LOL
 
 
]]> Fri, 04 May 2012 00:52:52 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=179393#179393 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Originally posted by... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=179392#179392 Author: Amsterdam
Subject: 14873
Posted: 04 May 2012 at 00:48

Originally posted by virtalist2000

I'll make this short as possible. I met this Brazilian girl on an online dating site. Visited first in December, came back February. She was in Paranai two kids (girl 7 semi-cool, boy younger 3 years pretty crazy, aggresive, always crying, always shouting). She separated from ex-husband but I suspect they where still doing on and off thing till lately - cos she still took the birth control while I was away or she was doing it with someone else (Trust is not in my dictionary I'm sorry). When I came back we moved to Rio where her family comes from originally. My other other friends always warn me that this type of relationship is dangerous and the so called ex mostly still wants her back and wont think twice about killing me :p
 
Basically if you are not happy, then you should walk away. And i have only read the first paragraph.
 
If you are living together and helping her to build her house then you obviously like her, it sounds like you are using her to get over your ex alittle aswell. You are both in a similar situation and you feel empathy dont you.
 
Originally posted by virtalist2000


She once agreed that I can always go spend a month with my kids but keeps changing. Later thinking I'm still having sexual relationship with mother of my kids too. But unknown to her its easier for me to get with the girl next door than someone abroad. I'm originally African with polygamous background. And she knows this and sometimes make reference to it. Like I'm trying Have them both :p
maybe someone suggest I delete irrelevant paragraphs after reading. Long post are usually scare Ouch
 
Now you sound as insecure as she obviously is.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


Edited by Amsterdam - 04 May 2012 at 00:56]]> Fri, 04 May 2012 00:48:29 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=179392#179392 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Nice comments... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174820#174820 Author: virtalist2000
Subject: 14873
Posted: 02 April 2012 at 18:27

Nice comments...]]> Mon, 02 Apr 2012 18:27:46 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174820#174820 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Megabyte http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174695#174695 Author: Grads
Subject: 14873
Posted: 01 April 2012 at 07:29

Megabyte ]]> Sun, 01 Apr 2012 07:29:47 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174695#174695 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Originally posted by GradsJealous... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174687#174687 Author: Megabyte
Subject: 14873
Posted: 31 March 2012 at 23:31

Originally posted by Grads

Jealous relationships are notorious in Brasil. People in triangles here go out of control and murder each other all the time...just watch the news for a while. Whether the danger is of figurative or literal potential in your case, it certainly sounds like this relationship is a "killer" in one way or another. Sometimes it is better to find happiness elsewhere that is less a complicated threat and more a rewarding experience. This is a change only you can make based upon your own wisdom and desire, or you can continually try to sort out a situation with many negative factors beyond your control.

Good luck.   


Don't exaggerate things. They're not as common as you think they are. Yes, some exes just can't "get over it" – specially if they were married for so long. However, if a relationship is over, things differ widely: some guys will want to be friends with their exes, others will never want to look at their face, others will want occasional sex. It really depends on the region, degree of education, age (older men tend to be more "jealous"), and so forth.]]> Sat, 31 Mar 2012 23:31:26 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174687#174687 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Virtalist, I would be very happy... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174686#174686 Author: Megabyte
Subject: 14873
Posted: 31 March 2012 at 23:26

Virtalist, I would be very happy if you would stop seeing every Brazilian woman as "money-hungry" or "emotional". The truth is, you have a jealous girlfriend and she has a jealous ex. Period. If you can't stand the pressure, find another woman. Talk to your girlfriend and say you're not cool with things as they are anymore. Yes, she will be emotional, she'll cry. Try the best you can so she'll not be too hurt, but move on. If you do like independent Brazilian women, there are many out there that are very successful and can pay their own bills. Those are the richer ones, tough, and can be quite stubborn when it comes to their own ideals.]]> Sat, 31 Mar 2012 23:26:07 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174686#174686 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Jealous relationships are notorious... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174500#174500 Author: Grads
Subject: 14873
Posted: 29 March 2012 at 11:36

Jealous relationships are notorious in Brasil. People in triangles here go out of control and murder each other all the time...just watch the news for a while. Whether the danger is of figurative or literal potential in your case, it certainly sounds like this relationship is a "killer" in one way or another. Sometimes it is better to find happiness elsewhere that is less a complicated threat and more a rewarding experience. This is a change only you can make based upon your own wisdom and desire, or you can continually try to sort out a situation with many negative factors beyond your control.

Good luck.   ]]> Thu, 29 Mar 2012 11:36:12 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174500#174500 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : virtualist - EVERY topic on here... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174492#174492 Author: spongebob
Subject: 14873
Posted: 29 March 2012 at 09:56

virtualist - EVERY topic on here gets "hijacked" and "derailed". Stop being so American and get your panties out of a wad. In Brazil, you gotta take whatever is thrown at you and smile. If not, you'll have a very difficult time and high blood pressure.

I hope your situation works out for you....


]]> Thu, 29 Mar 2012 09:56:29 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174492#174492 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : The boys wont come in the mix... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174352#174352 Author: virtalist2000
Subject: 14873
Posted: 27 March 2012 at 06:25

The boys wont come in the mix that will be foolish. I think nfor me no point being really in a serious relationship because regardless it will always try to interfere with my lifestyle whenever it gets serious and commitment type. Not afraid of commitments though unless it starts to creep on other things. IF they came to Brazil we will be in another house. I will have to move out and take a new place.]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2012 06:25:12 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174352#174352 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Originally posted by virtalist2000Por... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174349#174349 Author: frank4000
Subject: 14873
Posted: 27 March 2012 at 02:41

Originally posted by virtalist2000

Por que novela? I'm still not getting any help yet. Are my the only one in this?



Yes you are because everyone else has gotten out of or avoided having relationships with such women. Look for someone unattached.

best regards]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2012 02:41:52 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174349#174349 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Originally posted by virtalist2000Now... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174342#174342 Author: Ramon
Subject: 14873
Posted: 27 March 2012 at 00:05

Originally posted by virtalist2000

Now my topic is being hijacked or derailed
 
Get use to it. rarely do you ever see the usual suspects stay on topic.
]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2012 00:05:15 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174342#174342 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Wow you are not sure of this relationship... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174341#174341 Author: CheckPls
Subject: 14873
Posted: 26 March 2012 at 23:59

Wow you are not sure of this relationship with a woman that is jealous, seems to have issues and now you want to bring your two boys into the mix? 
 
 
]]> Mon, 26 Mar 2012 23:59:14 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174341#174341 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Now my topic is being hijacked... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174340#174340 Author: virtalist2000
Subject: 14873
Posted: 26 March 2012 at 23:53

Now my topic is being hijacked or derailed]]> Mon, 26 Mar 2012 23:53:21 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174340#174340 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Oh.. and I&#039;m betting that... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174331#174331 Author: spongebob
Subject: 14873
Posted: 26 March 2012 at 22:25

Oh.. and I'm betting that Gringo.Floripa has an imported Mercedes or BMW?



]]> Mon, 26 Mar 2012 22:25:52 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174331#174331 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : hpeak - I wish I coudl agree with... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174330#174330 Author: spongebob
Subject: 14873
Posted: 26 March 2012 at 22:24

hpeak - I wish I coudl agree with you 100%, but I recall it was pretty simple to get a job in other countries that could cover rent, car, insurance, food, and some other stuff no problem. Where I live in Brazil, this is REALLY hard to find. With minimum skills and no family, forget it. This is why it's hard for me to say life-is-life with no astericks.

ALL - wife won't back down off the car deal, even when asked about additional expenses. Anway, I hope she's happy. More expenses suck, but I guess that's life to keep an equilibrium to everything.



]]> Mon, 26 Mar 2012 22:24:49 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174330#174330 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Thanks for the contributions.... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174311#174311 Author: virtalist2000
Subject: 14873
Posted: 26 March 2012 at 18:21

Thanks for the contributions. I personally sent in the application to be used :p. IF thats the word. I normally can't see someone close to me in need and being in the position to help and not help.  I made 90% of the ofertas myself; initially she was usually uncomfortable with them or pretended to be uncomfortable ;).  After much more talk today; she agreed I should do me. And that even if I feel its easier for my kids to move to Brasil they can come if that would reduce my travel cost of shuttling airports.

My ex is not much of drama. Only sends sms most of the time. We are very good friends. Healthy for the two boys :)

Moving English speaking kids 2 boys will be another thing. I will be glad if they can learn Portuguese probably of advantage in the future. Yes probably spend 5 years and get the Brasilian passport too.
]]> Mon, 26 Mar 2012 18:21:10 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174311#174311 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Bob: Life is tough in Brazil Do... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174302#174302 Author: hpeak13
Subject: 14873
Posted: 26 March 2012 at 16:40

Bob:
Life is tough in Brazil

Do you honestly think it is harder here than other places? I think it is just, "life". not harder or easier]]> Mon, 26 Mar 2012 16:40:55 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174302#174302 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Kids could be an issue, especially... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174292#174292 Author: spongebob
Subject: 14873
Posted: 26 March 2012 at 15:47

Kids could be an issue, especially if you have a crazy ex, and there are lots of those here, especially the ones that really like cachaca or drugs.

After reading the thread about the WTF cars and the expenses, I think I'm going to try to talk my wife into the sitio deal instead Big%20smile

Oh, and about the OP's case, I don't blame the woman. She's probably just trying to keep her options open. How does she know Mr. OP is going to work out? It's not unreal to think someone couldn't get back together with an ex.





]]> Mon, 26 Mar 2012 15:47:43 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174292#174292 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Don&#039;t think the kids are... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174280#174280 Author: CheckPls
Subject: 14873
Posted: 26 March 2012 at 12:33

Don't think the kids are the issue here. 
 
Just my opinion but yes you can blame her for being jealous.... the OP did not say he was interested in other women just said he has a decent relationship with he ex. 
 
But I agree with SB - life seems to be tough in Brasil and he and other men have found good women to start and share a life with.... the reason I say some just don't blend well no matter how hard one tries, that is the same with anyone.  My point to PO is simply life is short there are good less complicated women out there go get yourself one.... Wink
]]> Mon, 26 Mar 2012 12:33:36 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174280#174280 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : People with kids is always complicated,... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174277#174277 Author: spongebob
Subject: 14873
Posted: 26 March 2012 at 12:15

People with kids is always complicated, I think no matter where in the world you are. That's just life... But can you really blame her for being jealous? I know WE (gringos) are probably quick to point fingers at Brazilian women and say that they just want us for our money... My wife hasn't asked me for anything since we got married.

This morning, I told her "I have some money left in an account, it's your choice: we can wait to add more money to it and buy a sitio and make money with that, or I can buy you a carro zero." Hard to guess which one she chose? <sigh>

Life is tough in Brazil and all of the women I know, even if they are business owners, still depend on their husbands for security. So I wouldn't exactly criticise Brazilian women for being jealous, cause they all are, especially if the guy is reasonably decent Approve


]]> Mon, 26 Mar 2012 12:15:42 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174277#174277 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Guess I missed your question.... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174276#174276 Author: CheckPls
Subject: 14873
Posted: 26 March 2012 at 12:10

Guess I missed your question.  From your post you know what your delima is.  She wants you to change to what she wants.  If you want the drama then stay in the relationship... your own words say it is getting worse.  I personally don't think people should have to change to stay in a relationship... adjust abosutely... but your sweetie does not seem into you and sometimes that happens. 
 
If you are the man for her... YOU should be number one and only concern (of course the kids are important but you are not complaining about that)  You should not have to wake up and think  "geez what is her mood today?"  Seriously, I spent way to many years in a relationship with a guy feeling this way.  Three years out of it and life is good....
 
I am not trying to bash your sweetie there... you seem very unhappy and seem to be in a lose situation.  If you want the relationship tell her what you need and don't back down. 
]]> Mon, 26 Mar 2012 12:10:00 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174276#174276 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : If you are smart, and that is... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174275#174275 Author: agri2001
Subject: 14873
Posted: 26 March 2012 at 12:06

If you are smart, and that is up to conjecture based on your messages, I would take CheckPls advise as that's the best you can do

Dont waste your time, just run as fast as you can far away from this novella or you will be a victim for sure
]]> Mon, 26 Mar 2012 12:06:42 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174275#174275 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Por que novela? I&#039;m still... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174272#174272 Author: virtalist2000
Subject: 14873
Posted: 26 March 2012 at 11:51

Por que novela? I'm still not getting any help yet. Are my the only one in this?]]> Mon, 26 Mar 2012 11:51:35 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174272#174272 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Not sure why you are questioning... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174264#174264 Author: CheckPls
Subject: 14873
Posted: 26 March 2012 at 11:04

Not sure why you are questioning the relationship, a complete waste of time for you.  Of course her family loves you, you will spend your money on her and put up with her crap.  You are being used and you seem to want jsomeone to justifiy her using you as a door mat.   I have a good relationship with my ex and it is the only way to go... healthy for both of us and very healthy for our daughter.  Actually, I know quite a few ex couples that have decent relationships, don't let her spoil that you will regret it. 
 
If she stops using birth control be very careful.... it won't be that she stopped seeing her ex or other men just means you will be the next victim for the next 18 years or so.  Life is way to short to deal with this type of drama.  But this does seem te be a common trait for Brasilian women.  Good luck my man....
 
 
]]> Mon, 26 Mar 2012 11:04:06 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174264#174264 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : I blame the novela! http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174256#174256 Author: scottyh
Subject: 14873
Posted: 26 March 2012 at 10:24

I blame the novela!]]> Mon, 26 Mar 2012 10:24:14 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174256#174256 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Oh we moved to another state -Parana... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174241#174241 Author: virtalist2000
Subject: 14873
Posted: 25 March 2012 at 22:00

Oh we moved to another state -Parana to Rio. But then I just got to know that the separation is delicate and unless a complete divorce is finalized she can loose custody of the children for dating? Dont know what the law is here. She sent dude some legal paperwork from the public FORUM and its about 3 weeks no acknowledgement if he got it or whatever. Dude pays $200 reals for two kids. Which can't cover baby sitting for the younger child alone.  I'm in the mix for real. I'm watching myself as co-actor in a estengeiro novela or something

Word is they have been separated for almost two years. I may die if I have a kid with her I think. sh*t I'm not permanent here and I dont want to marry either.  Muito confusion :(]]> Sun, 25 Mar 2012 22:00:55 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174241#174241 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Welcome to BrazilEdited by Ferguson21... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174236#174236 Author: Ferguson21
Subject: 14873
Posted: 25 March 2012 at 20:46

Welcome to Brazil

Edited by Ferguson21 - 25 March 2012 at 20:49]]> Sun, 25 Mar 2012 20:46:28 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174236#174236 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Yap drama queen act and still... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174234#174234 Author: ptic
Subject: 14873
Posted: 25 March 2012 at 20:18

Yap drama queen act and still seing ex, been there done that not exactly healty relationship it's good I got out of it, because it was bloody nightmare. Next time I'll be more carefull and dump girls like that at beggining, I'm not an agony aunt.]]> Sun, 25 Mar 2012 20:18:49 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174234#174234 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : brasilian women can be incredibly... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174229#174229 Author: Ramon
Subject: 14873
Posted: 25 March 2012 at 17:52

brasilian women can be incredibly seductive, like beautiful women all over the world and a good many use their god given comodity to get what they want. a trade off if you will and a mild form of prostition because both parties no each other well, and a certian level a comfort exists which is marriage or novias.

Edited by Ramon - 25 March 2012 at 17:52]]> Sun, 25 Mar 2012 17:52:05 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174229#174229 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Thanks GF; but this is Brazilian... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174213#174213 Author: virtalist2000
Subject: 14873
Posted: 25 March 2012 at 14:16

Thanks GF; but this is Brazilian specific and may meet people encountering same delima with a brazilian woman]]> Sun, 25 Mar 2012 14:16:34 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174213#174213 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : Perhaps the forums at this site... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174205#174205 Author: Gringo.Floripa
Subject: 14873
Posted: 25 March 2012 at 11:49


Perhaps the forums at this site would be a more appropriate venue for your question.


]]> Sun, 25 Mar 2012 11:49:11 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174205#174205 Jealousy, Insecurities, Emotional drama : I&#039;ll make this short... http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174204#174204 Author: virtalist2000
Subject: 14873
Posted: 25 March 2012 at 08:56

I'll make this short as possible. I met this Brazilian girl on an online dating site. Visited first in December, came back February. She was in Paranai two kids (girl 7 semi-cool, boy younger 3 years pretty crazy, aggresive, always crying, always shouting). She separated from ex-husband but I suspect they where still doing on and off thing till lately - cos she still took the birth control while I was away or she was doing it with someone else (Trust is not in my dictionary I'm sorry). When I came back we moved to Rio where her family comes from originally. My other other friends always warn me that this type of relationship is dangerous and the so called ex mostly still wants her back and wont think twice about killing me :p

She said she told him she already moved on and that she's dating someone now though. Girl family likes me and all. But she super jealous!!! When I talk anything serious she gets into all this emotional stance. She usually jealous about the mother of my children, who I still have good relationship with since has the children. And the kids are young  so I always put call first to their mom. She text me too. And sometimes BRGF  gets to read the text. And when she can't she ask questions like "Does she say I love you?"

Oh yeah she say "Te amor" about 100 times a day sounds very boring and tiring. And always wants reconfirmation. Well I stopped answering. Because it sounds like abuse of the word. I explained this to her. But got another emotional drama. I get in trouble if I dont hold her hands when we taking a walk.

I've helped a lot financially. But dont know if thats why she is keeping me. She's Overly protective. Dont want us to be anywhere there are too much younger girls or mulhers at all. We once exited a store in hurry cos a girl was staring at me. I've got a smack on my head right on busy road for looking at a girl more than 5 secs.

I'm usually cool type. But not like cool cool with ladies. I'm just trying to change. Of-course we 27, 26years respectively. I told her a little about my past with several other girls she was emotional for 2days+. Didn't give her the full story though cos I can't remember how many faces I've been with. But just a few I told her. Well she told me she once had a 3some and I didn't flinch. And she always wanted to know more about my previous relationship took me a week to tell her a little because I know how jealous she can get even if its a thing of the past. Her so called ex-husband calls atleast almost everyday and it doesn't bother me. But I do not have rights to do anything close to that.

In real sense - I'm not the love type guy. My emotions are mostly attached to my money and my kids. She wants to have a baby with me after noticing my attachment to kids. I like a her kids too even the crazy son. The ex was a drug user, cheat and a drunk who physically abused her a lot. Thats definition I got from her and her family. Her family is happy for her that she was able to exit the relationship or have someone new and maybe a younger guy too. Are my just a tool to get over the ex? Her paranoia rubbing off on me ;) I once suggested that she can reconcile with the ex because of the kids lets say dude gets clean for real. She warned me not to ever repeat the statement :p

Question do I walk away? Rent an apartment and just be free. I'm close to the mother of my children in ways I think any woman will be jealous. We dont talk all the time but atleast sms back and forth mostly about my kids.

I've discussed moving out. Then the emotional drama and then wanting to rush me out knowing I'm not prepared immediately. I told her a week+ will be fair. Speak poor Portuguese but atleast can get around.  Good with the ladies too. But hate the kitchen I would rather date an ugly girl that cooks just to make sure i get good home cooking lol and yeah when abroad home cooking can be much more cheaper.

Later she apologize and said we should forget about what we just discussed. :p I'm sure nobody forgets such. I need be prepared. She constantly sometimes talk about refunding me of the money I've spent on her new house i.e construction materials. Sounds stupid because I know this is a bluff she ain't got a job now.  I always told her I only give out whatever I think I can give as gift and never want anything back.

She once agreed that I can always go spend a month with my kids but keeps changing. Later thinking I'm still having sexual relationship with mother of my kids too. But unknown to her its easier for me to get with the girl next door than someone abroad. I'm originally African with polygamous background. And she knows this and sometimes make reference to it. Like I'm trying Have them both :p

maybe someone suggest I delete irrelevant paragraphs after reading. Long post are usually scare Ouch


Edited by virtalist2000 - 25 March 2012 at 09:14]]> Sun, 25 Mar 2012 08:56:24 +0000 http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14873&PID=174204#174204