By Tico Johnny
October 16, 2007
Are you a flabby, pasty expat looking to get in shape and impress the gatinhas? A ripped jiu-jitsu knuckledragger in search of a new challenge? Or perhaps you're a Mr. Limpet type looking to commune with the aquatic world. Grab a board - surf's up!
Surfing has something to offer everyone: an oceanic spiritual awakening; a serious upper body workout (and lower, once you get good); the ultimate multi-tasking athletic endeavor; the freedom and beauty that can only come from harnessing the raw energy of planet earth. Did I mention the surfer babes yet?
And what better place to learn than Brazil? With thousands of miles of coastline - from the raging barrels of Maresias to the shark infested peaks of Pernambuco - it's no accident that Brazilians have embraced the sport and are even making a name for themselves in the top ranks of professional surfing. You may never compete with world champ Kelly Slater, but you're sure to find a wave that suits your style and ability.
OK, you're sold. You're so stoked you can taste the saltwater. How do you get started?
I sort of hate to admit it, but I went to a surf camp. After struggling to learn snowboarding on my own, I finally got smart when I took the oceanic plunge. It sounds (and looks) kind of nerdy, but it was well worth it. My initial attempts at waveriding were, shall we say, "legendary". Without good instruction, I probably would have taken up golf instead!
So if your secretary's brother-in-law keeps "forgetting" to take you surfing, consider the full-blown surf camp/surf school. Typically you'll get both "dry" and "wet" lessons - basic theory and techniques on the beach, plus wave time with the instructor for several hours. Some of them will set you up in a nice pousada and take you to various breaks, depending on conditions. Brazil has quite a few reputable ones - just search the "internets" or ask at your local surf shop (yes, there are surf shops in São Paulo).
But why take lessons? Can't you just wing it? It looks fairly simple.
Easy - surfing is difficult, and yes, it can be dangerous. It's all about efficiency out there in the water, and the most efficient way to get up and surfing is to pay your dues and put in your time with a "qualified" instructor.
And then there's the whole "surfer etiquette" thing you have to learn. Please don't be like the floundering French guy at Maresias who almost got fin tracks across his legs. I had the right-of-way; he obviously was clueless that there was such a thing as a surfer right-of-way. Sacre Bleu!
OK, before we turn you loose, a few rules to surf by:
1. Know how to swim, and get yourself in reasonable shape before you start. When your leash breaks and you have your "Mr. Limpet" moment, you'll want to able to swim back to shore!
2. Don't surf alone. That's a no-brainer.
3. Don't worry too much about predatory sea critters (except in Recife). Do you worry about getting shot on the mean streets of São Paulo? Of course not! The same logic applies. Also, since you intend to faithfully follow rule #2 your odds will be reduced.
4. Don't be a tourist and rent a beat up, water logged shortboard from some moleque on the beach. (See the part about "breaking leash" in rule #1) What's a shortboard? In general, there are:
- Longboards: 8' plus in length, they are the most stable and easiest to paddle (meaning more waves can be caught). Your best bet when starting out.
- Funboards: Around 7'-8' long. Good paddling and flotation, but more maneuverable (and easier to carry - a must for looking "legal" on the beach) then a longboard. A good choice.
- Shortboards: Less than 7'. Highly maneuverable, but a real pain to learn on, unless you're 10 years old and live at the beach. They don't paddle well and are wicked unstable. But hey, they look cool (unless they're waterlogged rentals), and all the local shredders ride them. "Longeeboardgees" are for old, fat, gringos! Se liga!
5. Did I mention taking lessons? I thought so.
And there you have it. Next week Tico Johnny will give away his secret Brazilian surf spots. Stay tuned and Boas Ondas!
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